[AquaGuy]

I just want to get straight to the point because I have been struggling with this since I began high school (I am now 22).

According to the DSM-V, I technically meet the criteria for bipolar II, but not exactly. I find it to be kind of complex to describe. You see, my mood cycles from lows to highs but not long enough to meet the criteria for the duration but (as far as I am personally aware) my moods meet the criteria for hypomania and depression. I know, complicated to understand, right?

Basically, I can be in a "hypomanic" state (I think) for as little as 30 minutes but no longer than 1 day (so I don't meet the criteria for cyclothymia, either), which is where I don't meet the criteria for bipolar II, but now I will describe what I experience (which is where I think I meet some the rest of the criteria for bipolar II). Could someone please help me to decide whether it could be hypomania or not? Thanks.

My thoughts will begin to race so fast I find it unbelievable.

I start to sweat and sometimes shake, almost like an adrenaline rush.

I get the urge to do things at the speed of light and do not ever get tired, whereas normally I would struggle to do 1 minute of star jumps (for example) without getting tired.

I will not want to go to bed (although I will force myself).

I will get the urge to do things impulsively (although I recognise the impulses [being self aware] and stop myself most of the time), start about 15 billion tasks (being more productive than my usual self which I love), etc.

I also feel just generally more happy-go-lucky, like nothing can harm me, more social (I have social anxiety, so being "hypomanic" can be a blessing in most ways), etc.

Sometimes (when this state occurs, it changes all the time how I experience it with a few things staying constant) I will get up and dance around the bedroom while watching a movie or just get the urge to do things I wouldn't want to do ordinarily. I am not a dancer and nor do I enjoy being social, so that is how I can tell the neurotransmitters in my brain have gone off the scale again.

The only problem is this - most of this will last no more than 3-4 hours on average and it rarely happens. (No exaggeration) I can go months and months without feeling hypomanic and then suddenly, walk down the street, for example, and suddenly get the urge to run and laugh and have fun, and I get really annoying like that and then can become really irritable and can verbally attack my friends (when normally I am totally laid back and extremely passive), but when no one seems to want to behave like me my mood plummets massively but I will still feel "high" and hypomanic but also, simultaneously, in a state of depression.
My mood can literally drop quicker than a penny from the Empire State building, without any warnings sometimes and it feels horrible. I sometimes have warnings sometimes up to a couple of weeks before I drop or rise, but often it will just go from normal one minute to utter, soul-crushing depression before I have time to register what has happened.
I normally spend most of my time, most of the year, in what I'd call a contradictory state of happiness and sadness simultaneously (not high enough to be hypomania or low enough to be depression, although that has happened before and it feels very scary because it just comes on all of a sudden out of nowhere, no matter what I might have been doing and if I didn't have any impulse control I would have probably killed myself); I have no other way to describe that, so when I want to explain it to other people they don't understand. I barely understand it myself and I've had to put up with it for about 11 years +.

Personally, though, I'd describe my baseline emotion as slightly below what I call mixed, but not necessarily depressed. I think people know me as being depressed, or what they call "moody", so when I go "hypomanic" while a few people might notice a slight difference even the people who know me the best can't really tell, (or so they tell me, but I just don't think they understand because I've seen myself on recordings and I have seen people who have been hypomanic, and even manic, and I was. I think they just found me annoying and irritable instead of happy, high, and care-free, just like my parents) but it feels so unbelievably overwhelming, in a good, happy, euphoric, extremely productive, yet very irritable, way, and I can't understand how they don't notice a difference.

Sorry, I know this turned into a long message.

Thanks. Peace.

Hi Aquaguy,

Unfortunately we here at PC cannot diagnose. Have you ever been to a doctor to discuss your concerns? Getting yourself set up with a psychiatrist and/or therapist sounds like it definitely wouldn't hurt. Also getting a blood test done to be sure that these issues aren't caused by a physical problem would not be a bad idea.

You are right about your mood swings lasting too little to be considered any form of Bipolar Disorder. Oftentimes people with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) will have short and intense mood swings that can be mistaken for Bipolar Disorder. However, only a professional will be able to tell you for sure what it is.

I would encourage you to focus less on finding a label and more on addressing the symptoms, the things that affect your life negatively.

[Nammu]

Yeah, check with a Therapist who can diagnose or a Pdoc.

[emgreen]

I'm not a REAL doctor, but I played one on TV. It sounds like chlamydea could be the issue.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by emgreen

I'm not a REAL doctor, but I played one on TV. It sounds like chlamydea could be the issue.

This is no joking matter for this member.

Aquaguy, please seek professional help. It will probably take a while to get into see a psych doctor for an official diagnosis.
I recommend still posting here so we can support you as best as we can.
Thanks for sharing.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Sunflower123]

Good luck and best wishes for getting to the bottom of it.

[bioChE]

Like the others have said, if you haven’t been to a doctor it’s pretty important to do that first. It’s not as simple as just reading the DSM and matching up your personal observations. It’s like trying to diagnose yourself with cancer via Dr. Google. It’s just not happening. There’s much more to it.

Get to a doc, then if needed start down a treatment path.

[bizi]

Reading your other posts you have been psychotic for a great long period of time/years of your child hood, etc.
Please print out every thing you have written on these 2 different forums and take them with you to your psych visit for the first time, hoping that you can be seen in short order.
Medication can be wonders for delusional thinking and you could perhaps be able to go back to college again.
keep us posted,
bizi