Inner battle/conflict

I am having overwhelming negative thoughts about being a failure, suicide, lonliness and holidays and relationships. However I’m also coping with them by trying to dismiss the negative thoughts, using a moodtracker to find evidence against negative thoughts, positive affirmations. I’m somewhat feeling “stuck” if that’s the right word. After work I sat in my car for thirty minutes thinking back and forth of negativity and positivity. I then became mindful and left, but this is a constant “battle”. Is this normal? Anyone relate?

It’s normal , most BP or neurotypicals have these thoughts at some point .

Good your using coping skills to manage!

Negative thoughts are pretty-much where I live. Outwardly I try to maintain at least a neutral persona. (Positive is really just too much of a stretch for me most of the time.) However my mental / emotional life is simply one negative thought followed by another. I strive to accept these thoughts by practicing compassionate abiding. It helps. But sometimes it feels as though I'm trying to beat back an elephant with a fly swatter. I hope you will, in some way, be able to find deep peace within...

Hey boogie..keep fighting those negative thoughts. Good for you using the coping skills

Absolutely normal for me when I'm struggling. It is actually something they teach in DBT if I remember correctly (both mindfulness and positive thought combatting negative or reframing). It's usually a good sign if I'm able to do that. It's the times when I can't that I worry. Medication softens the moods so this kind of self talk is easier than without them. Good job for using coping skills! You may want to consider changing your meds though it you are having break through symptoms, talk to your pdoc.