2017 is almost over. How has your year been, mentally?

I have had my ups and downs. My downs have had mostly from physical pain (dystonia). But I have managed to stay out of the the hospital for almost 2 years. To me thats a huge improvement.

Well, started out here at the end of last year, beginning of this year, going into my first episode that would have been beyond my control without help. Places like PC (and reddit) helped me get the courage to reach out for help, and a pdoc rescued me. Really feels like that. I called, and they got me in quick without hospitalization (which at the time was a huge paranoia trigger), got me started on depakote; and I've been relatively mellow ever since.

Added the abilify and my paranoia seems to have faded to a distant echo; so much so that I might be honest about my current thoughts (seeing as how they are a tad dark and depressed) when I see my doc in a couple days. I don't think I have a plan or anything that should raise the alarm, but I haven't been depressed in over a year, and never in front of a doctor before, so I dunno. The depression may just be related to grief that will pass with time naturally...

I miss those I've lost this year.

Anyway, that's my year, it went awfully fast... without disastrous results. Hard to complain about that, considering.

Painkillers (plus alcohol) was what I overdosed on, and I also abused benzos. Xanax and klonopin, klonopin was truly very dangerous for me and I have large chunks of time missing from my memory from when I was on them.
I also abused adderall although that's a bit different as I am a college student haha... it's not right or good for me of course, but it wasn't from a place of mental illness, just procrastination in school

Bad first half, better second half; pretty good right now.

Most of 2017 was dark for me. When I wasn’t at worked I slept. I slept all day on my days off and hurting. I was close to being hopeless and not wanting to live. Hell I probably was at that point. After several harassment from my treatment team, friends and a couple co workers I sought more help.
Today I’m feeling hopeful. I’m not where I want to be and I accept it. I accept it because I’m hopeful, willing and full of affirmations that I will succeed. I know two more humps coming (xmas and my birthday). Will it be like anything I always dream or prefer, definitely not. However I have the tools, determination and will to make 2018 a happy year. I will once again “live”.

I’m determined to live my life and not wait till I lose this weight. Their is no reason I can’t enjoy myself now. I want to experience and enjoy the new path. I am going to love myself.

I got my sights set to go to Thailand. I’ve started training and hope the next five months I will shed some lbs and be fitter, healthier. When I get to Thailand, I will be in good shape and when I leave I be coming back with experience, a reunion with an old college buddy and more at peace.

Then summer. I am looking forward to enjoy the summers I haven’t lived in a long time.

For most of the year, I’ve had severe depression with SI almost every day. Starting in August, I was put on a new medication that put an end to the severe depression and the SI. I’m still fighting anxiety.

I adopted a “depressive” lifestyle while the depression was so severe (this has gone on for years) and I’m finding it challenging to break free from that. I plan to try harder in 2018.

I have a lot of SI. I actually day dream about it.

My year has been good, mood-wise. I think I’ve found a stable combo, and have even dropped one of the meds I was on for two years (doctor’s supervision, of course). Early in the year I was having mild depressions every 2-3 weeks that would last for 2-3 days. Tried WB to stop it, and became a suicidal insomniac. I guess that was a scary month. However I quit that and started taking amino acids, and haven’t had a depression since.

Regardless, it’s been good and stable. Best year in a long time.

My year was a trip downhill with an inpatient stay in September. Med changes and I'm actually feeling better than I have in years. My gambling addiction has reared its ugly head but I'm going to try and reel that back in. O hope 2018 is much better, that I can continue going to work everyday and get straighten out with my finances. As long as I keep the gambling in check I'll be in good shape money wise starting with my first paycheck in Jan

Up and down. I had two major manic episodes and two IP's. Other than that pretty steady or at least now I am. Looking forward to a happy 2018

The proverbial roller coaster with mostly depression but also some mixed episodes. Hate that when I get so aggravated and aggressive.

I was pretty stable until late August, after my birthday. Health issues and lack of support from my doctor's office sent me into a bit of a tailspin. Now back pain, dermatitis, and side effects from meds are weighing me down. I'm more worried about 2018, though, and it's from things that I can't control. I'm trying not to worry but I do.

At least I didn't have to go inpatient--so far. Went to school for a term, and that was good (though anxious as well). Going back to school next month. We'll have a good Christmas at least.

Overall it's been some good, some bad.

It was an awful year. In spite of myself, I am alive and I get a do-over. I hope I can get a plan that will work for 2018. I still have lots that needs correcting first, but I am trying.
Bluemountains

Heaven and hell.
Still processing the loss of my mother, a big move, and a good friend who passed (natural causes) unexpectedly. I'm just grateful for the solid close people in my life that are unconditional with there love and support. I don't know how many bad swings I have had this year, It's been a lot. Although not as damaging to my relationships of the past, but have made me stronger and brought the people I love closer.

The good is really good and the bad is REALLY bad.