[jtassar93]

Thanks to anyone who ever talked to me on here. I’m done though. I don’t know why I bother posting. I have no friends no family no life. What’s the point anymore. Bye

[~Christina]

I hope you stay. You have been given support and hopefully helpful advice here.

Are you safe?

[Wild Coyote]

I am very sorry you are feeling so down and so alone. Please keep posting, telling us what you are going through. I know we've helped you at times, maybe we can help again?

If you decide to go, I am very sorry to see you go. I have always taken an interest in your posts and in your welfare. Please stay safe, whatever you do.


WC

[jtassar93]

Sorry. Something set me off and I went a little over the edge. Screamed at the only person who cares about me. Considered ending it. I ended up taking 2 sleeping pills, 5 Valium, and an 8 hour depression nap. I feel 50% better.

[Wild Coyote]

I am glad you feel 50% better!
I hope you continue to feel better and better!

There can be some very challenging times. It's in our best interests to remember such times are temporary and will pass.

I am concerned about the extra meds; it seems like a lot at once. Although valium can help with anxiety, it can also add to depression. Please be careful.

Please let us know how you are doing?
Thinking of you.

WC

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am glad you feel 50% better!
I hope you continue to feel better and better!

There can be some very challenging times. It's in our best interests to remember such times are temporary and will pass.

I am concerned about the extra meds; it seems like a lot at once. Although valium can help with anxiety, it can also add to depression. Please be careful.

Please let us know how you are doing?
Thinking of you.

WC

You always reply to my posts, thanks. The meds are fine. Sleeping pills were a normal dose and Valium barely works for me anyways. I’m supposed to take three 10mg ones a day. Just took 5. Didn’t make a difference. I’m depressed anyways so it doesn’t matter.

[Wild Coyote]

You have been a member of our PC family for quite awhile!
You are worthy of a response.

Have any plans for the next couple of days?
What do you do with your time?
Do you feel well enough to do things?

I try to plan some things. Otherwise, I feel too housebound and even more depressed after several days of being cooped up at home.


WC

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

You have been a member of our PC family for quite awhile!
You are worthy of a response.

Have any plans for the next couple of days?
What do you do with your time?
Do you feel well enough to do things?

I try to plan some things. Otherwise, I feel too housebound and even more depressed after several days of being cooped up at home.


WC

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I don’t really have any plans. I used to leave the house for therapy twice and then pdoc once but my therapist straight up and left. I went without her for like 6 months while she was switching offices. I finally had an appointment and was kind of happy about it. We set up a plan and goals and I was going to try. So I set up my next appointment and the day before I was supposed to have it, the office called and said she no longer works there. She moved states. So there’s that.

I just had my pdoc appointment like a week ago so that’s not for awhile. Pretty much said I was fine and held everything in. No use anyways I’m looking for a new pdoc.

I do have an SSI review Thursday. I’m extremely nervous about it.

Most days I spend it sleeping or listening to the same song on repeat for hours laying in my bed. Nothing exciting.

[Wild Coyote]

It must be disheartening to keep losing therapists? I would find that very frustrating. You need a new pdoc, too? Does all of this make it feel like things are on shaky ground, just too frustrating?

My pdoc is my therapist and he's retiring soon. I'm nervous about this.

On my quieter days, I spend some time here, in various forums. I get to know people better that way. I also use the "games" section for added distraction on days I may be having a more difficult time. I have found engaging here a bit can lift my spirits some days. I can give and get support.

I try to get out with friends when I can; yet, have limitations. I have BP and a few medical illnesses. So, I am at home a lot.

Why not change up your music a bit, playing several songs or a playlist? The variety might help your mood? It helps my mood. I depend upon music to help me out. Lol.

It's nice "chatting" with you like this, by posting.

There's also "chat" here. People seem to like it. I have never used it (yet).

Any plans for today?
Do you interact with family throughout the day?
(I usually have someone, 1-2 others, in the house all day.)

I've found some friends here. You could, too! We all care about you.
I hope your review goes well! You've done well with SSDI, even though you get anxious. I get anxious about reviews, too.


WC

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

It must be disheartening to keep losing therapists? I would find that very frustrating. You need a new pdoc, too? Does all of this make it feel like things are on shaky ground, just too frustrating?

My pdoc is my therapist and he's retiring soon. I'm nervous about this.

On my quieter days, I spend some time here, in various forums. I get to know people better that way. I also use the "games" section for added distraction on days I may be having a more difficult time. I have found engaging here a bit can lift my spirits some days. I can give and get support.

I try to get out with friends when I can; yet, have limitations. I have BP and a few medical illnesses. So, I am at home a lot.

Why not change up your music a bit, playing several songs or a playlist? The variety might help your mood? It helps my mood. I depend upon music to help me out. Lol.

It's nice "chatting" with you like this, by posting.

There's also "chat" here. People seem to like it. I have never used it (yet).

Any plans for today?
Do you interact with family throughout the day?
(I usually have someone, 1-2 others, in the house all day.)

I've found some friends here. You could, too! We all care about you.
I hope your review goes well! You've done well with SSDI, even though you get anxious.


WC

You can feel free to message me if you want. I don't really use chat either. I'm extremely paranoid about everything so jtassar has nothing to do with me nor does my picture. I'm hesitant about posting because of anxiety.

Yeah I haven't been to therapy for a long time. Not sure if it even works but whatever. My pdoc totally sucks and yes I need a new one. Too much change makes me feel uncomfortable and worried.

Sorry about your pdoc.

When I'm not depressed in bed all day I do play a game online and there's a forum for it and I feel comfortable there. It's nice. Been there since 2008 so it's comforting.

Honestly I don't have any friends anymore. I don't leave the house except for appointments. It's depressing. Even if I did have friends, social anxiety and panic attacks would keep me from even leaving the house to hang out with them.

I have bipolar 1, panic disorder, ocd, general anxiety disorder, and pstd. They kind of think it might be schizoaffective bipolar but I have no idea the difference so eh, who cares. Too many problems.

I'm usually home alone all day every day. My mom and step dad work 6 days a week and my brother is at school and then with friends after and on weekends. I only talk to my mom. She's the only person who really cares. Most days she's the only one I talk to at all. My step dad flat out ignores me and just wants me to 'get over it' and move out already. My brother is 15 and I guess the hormones got to him and he's super moody and not very friendly.

I kind of try to make friends on here... but it just seems that all I do is complain. I feel bad and weird. I'm super awkward. It's hard.

I hope the review goes well too, thanks. I've been having anxiety attacks thinking about it ever since I got the letter. I can't wait for it to be over.

[Wild Coyote]

Most of us here are protected by a fake name and an avatar which does not look like us. Doing this, "hiding behind" an online name, allows us to be a little less paranoid. We can maybe share a bit more freely because nobody knows our true identity?

I am glad you feel comfortable with your game forum.

Sorry about your diagnoses. I, too, have more than I'd mentioned and some days, it seems like too much. I think we all understand those types of feelings here. We all go through similar challenges here.

Please don't suffer all alone. This is a support forum and a place where you are very welcomed to vent and write about most anything (and anonymously).
There are lots of good people here -- good hearts!

Check out the depression forum, too! There's a great thread there, an accountability thread, where we set goals (everyday goals) and support each other in achieving goals. I try to participate in that thread, even though I often fail. Everyone is very compassionate.

I need to go for awhile, but I hope to see you around!
I'll check back in on this thread later.


WC

[jtassar93]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Most of us here are protected by a fake name and an avatar which does not look like us. Doing this, "hiding behind" an online name, allows us to be a little less paranoid. We can maybe share a bit more freely because nobody knows our true identity?

I am glad you feel comfortable with your game forum.

Sorry about your diagnoses. I, too, have more than I'd mentioned and some days, it seems like too much. I think we all understand those types of feelings here. We all go through similar challenges here.

Please don't suffer all alone. This is a support forum and a place where you are very welcomed to vent and write about most anything (and anonymously).
There are lots of good people here -- good hearts!

Check out the depression forum, too! There's a great thread there, an accountability thread, where we set goals (everyday goals) and support each other in achieving goals. I try to participate in that thread, even though I often fail. Everyone is very compassionate.

I need to go for awhile, but I hope to see you around!
I'll check back in on this thread later.


WC

I might check out the other forum. This is the only one I’ve visited all these years and I still only feel somewhat comfortable being on it. I don’t like posting things in public like this. I am now because it seems like you’re the only one online. I prefer one on one private conversations. Usually when I post a thread here it’s because it depressed beyond all belief or too manic to care.

Thanks for talking to me.