[LizardL8y]

So, I'm on mood stabilizers (love my Lamictal!!!) and it helps me a lot, but sometimes I still swing up or down. Right now I am super depressed. Crazy, super, miserably depressed. I have a crappy decision I have to make... seems like once I think I've figured out what I need to do, someone throws a wrench into it. Don't really want to discuss this particular issue because it would require a lot of explaination and anyway it is something I need to figure out on my own. I just basically need to talk and get this out. I go to my pdoc once a month (my insurance really sucks so that's all I can do) and it'll be a few more weeks till I see her. I woke up at my usual time this morning but didn't get out of bed for another hour and a half. I just want to cry, but there are no tears, just a tired, sinking feeling. I haven't eaten anything today and it is afternoon (not that it'll hurt me since my doctor says I need to lose about 40 lbs anyway...). I'm supposed to eat breakfast every day (supposedly I'm less likely to overeat later on if I eat a big meal in the morning)... I've been good about it, but not today. I'm lonely, bored, and sad. Thanks for letting me vent.

[jattitude74]

I dont know what type of decision youre contemplating but hard decisions require lots of thought so be sure you put in the effort before making the wrong choice....I dont know about your do or your insurance but maybe if you call and let your doc know how badly you feel he/she can find a way to get you in and deal with the insurance later. I have been to my doc like 3 times in the last week on emergency related issues and he told me my bill was all set not to worry about paying him. i realize not everyone is the same but it may be worth the try. Are you on any antidepressants?? my doc gave me provigil to help my really down days along with the AD i was skeptical but tried it and i atleast got my butt out of bed and amounted to something. I really feel for you i know that pain as many of us do. please try to hang in there and see or call the doc. my thoughts are with you .you can pm me anytime,,,,,,Another thing that helps sometimes is walking. i have two dogs that i walk and all of my concentration is on making them happy and not all the bad stuff,,,only problem iguess is getting the energy to get going. good luck to you---jen

[LizardL8y]

I made my decision and although I'm not happy, I wouldn't be happy with the other choice either so I picked the better of the two options.
I have two dogs myself, but they are difficult to walk on my own because one likes to mosey slowly and sniff everything while the other just wants to go go go! And if I try to take out one at a time, the one I take just wont walk unless the other one is there too. Most days I go in the backyard with them or wrastle them on the couch (they are little wild ones!!!). They are the joy in my life.
I need to start walking again though... I used to walk about 2-3 mi every other day, and sometimes 4 or more on the weekends. I loved it... fresh air and excersize. I guess I just have to force myself... meanwhile my room is a mess and needs to be cleaned desprately... all my clean clothes are on my chair instead of in the closet, my blanket is on the floor, and I haven't dusted or vaccumed in weeks. The only thing I'm actually getting done is my homework. SIGH, I am better now though than I was this morning when I started this thread, so that's good at least!