[Secretum]

I read in an article once that people with mood disorders have higher levels of dissociation. How about you? Do you dissociate (distance yourself from internal and external stimuli) a lot? Do any of you carry diagnoses of depersonalization disorder or even DID? I think that I may have depersonalization disorder, but it has never been diagnosed.

I took this test: http://www.strangerinthemirror.com/questionnaire.html

and scored a 48. How high or low do you score?

Well, I'm schizoaffective & I experience a lot of depersonalisation/derealisation. I wouldn't go on to say that it would be a disorder in or of itself. But I think it has to do a lot with the psychosis. Like a subtle break in reality in order to cope with stress? But that's just my experience.

I got a 46! But the questions about being cut off from my emotions, feeling out of control, & whatnot really apply to my other dx's so I'm not sure just how much it has to do with dissociation.

[LouR]

I have DID. and its not as obvious as the media would lead you to believe its very subtle. If you believe that you may have it go and see a specialist that deals with trauma and that may use EMDR. Alot of therapies are used to assist with DID. Just ensure that the therapist u see deals with trauma of some type they tend to be the ones who can distinguish the 5 dissasociative disorders from each other and differentiate DID from other disorders such as bipolar, borderline personality, or even schizophrenia. I didn't even realised I had it until my therapist whom I have been working with for a while now dropped the bomb on me

[Rennerenner]

Yeah, and I didn't even know what it was until I googled something along the line of 'I feel like I'm in a dream' as that's how I feel frequently. I scored a 39.

[Mac Murphy]

I just scored a 52 and yes...I totally felt like many of those applied to me.

...hmmm I don't know, I did the test and got 25 and was surprised to read it as severe depersonalisation.

I mean...checking through those questions I sort of wished I had some of them like the ability to detach on command ...turn of emotions at will ...(unless I got it wrong) but I have to be careful I don't want to make light of the illness.

I know a woman with DID and it's had horrendous effects on her life but in ways that I did not relate to.

I have extreme BPD identity issues...I don't know who I am really but I know that it's 'me' that doesn't know who I am.

my impression from what this woman explained was that she completely separated in all kinds of directions from the 'self' where she the 'her' blacked out and 'someone else' went got on the bus....went to the shops or whatever...it really upset her

I dissociate alot I drift and get buried in confusion I detach but I'm aware of it

I don't know whats better? niether I spose

[faerie_moon_x]

I got a 50 for the score. I thought that some of the questions were similar to bipolar also. But, I always look at myself in the mirror and it isn't what I expet to see, often to the point that it startles me. I have a completely different mental view of what I look like, so when I look in the mirror... it's unsettling, and even disappointing. I also feel like I watch the world through a piece of glass. I can see and hear everything, but it's at a distance.

Sometimes I feel like I'm floating around outside my body. Or sometimes I don't realize how far at a distance I am feeling, then suddenly something will like slam me back into my body. And I'll be a little dazed and reality kind of sits heavy on me. But it's things I already knew and aware of but suddenly they just feel more real and heavy. It's hard to explain...

But the one question that got me was the other part of me comments on what I'm doing? I have that. It's the other me. We talk a lot, out loud even. But, it's not really another me? It is but it isn't... But other me is better at certain things although I'm the one that does everything and is present, other me gives me advice or comfort... but doesn't actually step in... I don't think?

I don't know. It's hard to explain.

We deal with depression and damn well know that we are not acting like we should. Same with any level of mania, wheter hypo or full blown mania. We have to accept that is it happening, there is nothing we can do about it. When everyone else around is 'over reacting' and we wish they would just calm down and let it be what it is, when everyone around us is pushing us and blaming us for it happening... Yeah, dissasociation is the best key defense. Getting used to what would otherwise scare the hell out of anyone not suffering from a mental illness demands disassociation! The degree of disassociation that it sometimes takes to get through an episode, or even cycling can be applied to times when there is no need for it as a means to cope with undesirable situations. So yeah, I think that anyone with a mental illness that affects them like this is guilty of doing that. It's a tool that we use for survival. But it's a tool that can take over when it's not needed. As far as being diagnosed with a condition, I think we are all ranking high on the scales of having a dissosociative disorder, but that's out of survival, it's cuz we are bipolar.

[Moose72]

YOUR SCORE IS 35

Your score of 35 falls in the range of Severe Depersonalization (25-75).We recommend that you be evaluated by a professional who is trained in the administration of the full SCID-D interview. If your depersonalization has interfered with your relationships with friends, family or coworkers, or has affected your ability to work or has caused you distress, it is particularly important that you obtain a professional consultation.

Should an experienced clinician find that you have a dissociative disorder, you have a treatable illness with a very good prognosis for recovery. Your illness is widely shared by others who coped with trauma by using the self-protective defense of dissociation.

With proper treatment, in time you will no longer find it necessary to disconnect from yourself or your feelings. Eventually, as you grow strong enough to reconnect with your memories, feelings and behaviors and begin to accept them as your own, your depersonalization will be reduced and you will become a more integrated and psychologically healthy person.

[Moose72]

I must say that one question I answered based on disassociating during childbirth. I was outside my body watching and listening. I think when youre going through intense stress that's normal.

[Confusedinomicon]

I scored 30.

I was trying to be honest, even though many of the questions don't apply to me anymore. I hardly ever disassociate anymore. Or maybe I do and I'm unaware of it. Who knows. I do know that when I was younger I'd have conversations with people and never remember talking to them. I called it "auto-pilot".

[Moose72]

Yes I've been in autopilot while singing. You just keep going and start thinking about anything and everything else. Is this not normal?

[BlueInanna]

44, that suprised me. Like DarkHeart saying, I have the other me and we talk a lot. Sometimes she's a total asshole voice. But I did this mindfulness therapy and learned a lot about other me, she just really wants me to be happy and get **** done. Also in one of the mindfulness meditations, the therapist guided me to find I was hiding out in space near the moon, just watching myself and wishing things weren't so bad for my life and the planet. Then we did the meditation where you vision your feet on a grassy patch of earth and remember that earth wants me here and needs me here. It was a profound session. But yea anyway, interesting topic!

[hamster-bamster]

I have DD NOS (diss.disorder not otherwise specified). Your score of 32 falls in the range of Severe Depersonalization (25-75).

[LiteraryLark]

Mine said 28, and I think it's BS. Just because I have dissociative traits, does not make a whole new disorder out of me. Bipolar is more than enough mental illness for my likeness. And it's all caused by stress and it's normal for "normal" people to detatch from their problems.

[THELASTSTAND]

I scored a 43, but i wouldn't call it depersonalization. more like derealization, where i cant concentrate and i can stare at things for hours on end. I have moderate BP disorder, by the way

[faerie_moon_x]

I took this again (I had forgot I took it before, haha.) Anyway, I got a 51 and I see in my comment before I got a 50... So I'm consistant if nothing else.

44 here too, BlueInanna. But... Agreed with others that some of the questions could be answered affirmatively strictly on account of BP too. Can't leave any off, but how to answer some of them? Like not being clear on what exactly they are asking or if it applies to one's situation. Which, if clarified, could throw the answers in opposite directions. Giving very different resultant scores. Here's one: "One part of me does things while an observing part talks to me about them." If they are talking about a running viciously critical out loud commentary on myself, then yes, I do it in spades. But I don't know if it's a "part of" me. The "whole me" feels that way when it's happening. It's not like one "part" is going on and the other is a separate entity, saying "Hey, wow, that's pretty harsh! Nuh-uh!" Lol.

And yes, everyone does quite a few of them from time to time, but this seems like a given. They say "may be at risk for". That's 2 hedges in 5 words(!) Sounds like, "Yeah, could be... this is the kind of stuff. Do you do a big bunch of it? Might be a problem.", which is kind of weird with them to then tag a quantifier (ie. "severe") onto each category, making it "sound" more conclusive than it is. Haha, haven't slept since Friday morning, drove 350 miles today and am here going all analytical on its a*s.

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

...I dissociate alot I drift and get buried in confusion I detach but I'm aware of it...

Hmmm. Most of the time I'm not aware of it. At the time anyway. If, say, people were having a big argument that made me really uncomfortable, I'd sure as hell know I was. But, usually otherwise only later. By myself. Like realizing a big chunk of time has passed and not remembering it concretely, but in a fog. But.... there was a big one recently that I had to be told what happened. That was pretty freaky. (It was a trip to the ER. Should've been very memorable. Nope. BF had to tell me the whole thing a couple of days after it happened. But at one point he had gone to get a coffee, so there was something he missed.... A few weeks later at a followup, the doctor said, "well, let's grab the x-ray report." Total incredulity. "I had an X-RAY??!!" She tilted her head quizzically, "Ummmm, ye-ah." (Sure 'nuf. And not somebody else's(!)) BF had mentioned a shot. Being totally needle-phobic, you'd think that would've gotten my attention. Apparently not(!) It's kind of funny now in that "That's crazy! No way!" kind of way, but it was hugely disturbing at the time. Or rather, shortly after the time.)

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

...Sometimes I feel like I'm floating around outside my body. Or sometimes I don't realize how far at a distance I am feeling, then suddenly something will like slam me back into my body.. .

I don't get slammed back, but the floating around outside? Yes. Even exactly how far. Not often, but when it does, it's very distinct and I'm very aware of it (unlike above sorts) because it's damn creepy. I am walking, but I am also walking 3 feet behind myself. Right down the grocery store aisle.... (or wherever, but it's happened twice there).

And yeah, Dan-- In reading their results, they say, "who coped with trauma by using the self-protective defense of dissociation." "Well, duh!", right?!

Also agree with Moose in saying "when you're going through severe stress, that's normal".

Outside of the direct aftermath of the biggie, it doesn't actively bother me to wanting to "do" something about it. It seems "normal" at this point. But the level of corroboration with stress (when one's out of control, so's the other) makes it more like, "Well yeah. Got me though it though, didn't it? How else could I keep functioning?!" It's not on purpose, it's just a "default setting". Meh. <shrug>

[Sila]

That's actually something I had been thinking about lately...I've wondered if I may be dissociating a bit during peak times of anxiety for me, because I often just feel the physical symptoms but have no recollection of any mental negative thoughts surrounding it. It's not until afterwards do I sit and think it over, do I realize the fears surrounding the anxiety provoking events.

I scored a 35 and a 37, and I honestly answered the best I could. That's almost alarming, but at the same time not entirely surprising either.

[LiveThroughThis]

I got a 41. I agree w/others saying some of the questions are bogus. Also I have asked my P-doc about this "dissociation" (as he calls it) and he said it's simply anxiety. I have noticed it comes up when I'm in an anxious situation--though not nearly as often as it used to. It doesn't usually last long either, maybe 15 minutes. So I would not say I fall in the DID spectrum. Like Dr Skipper said, Bipolar---on top of everything else--is plenty.

[Sila]

I wonder if there are more reliable tests out there online, for now. This almost seems to vague and general.

[mpalamar]

I just took it and scored a 65!! YIKES! Then again, it doesn't surprise me really... I'm disassociated, depersonalized, desensitized, you name it...

[Thoughtbubble]

I don't know aout this test it seems many simply bps are severe.

[ineedtosneeze]

The only thing I've been diagnosed with is depression and impulse disorder but I scored a 65. My feelings are troubling but I'm afraid to tell my therapist or psychiatrist because I'm afraid they'll think I'm saying it for attention or self diagnosing.

[Nola0250]

I get narratives going in my head when I don’t want them. Like when I’m having a conversation I’ll space out and imagine a scenario. Sometimes it’s related to the conversation and sometimes not but I can’t prevent it from happening. People notice that I space out and ask where I went.

Is this dissociation or intrusive thoughts or something else?