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#1
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Last thread had gone over 100 pages so here is a brand new one
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![]() beauflow, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() beauflow, Blue_Bird, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#2
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I've been sleeping almost non stop for the past 24 hours
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Aurelius710, beauflow, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#3
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I saw my dentist at 9:30 am. I need a root canal. He managed to get me an appointment for one this afternoon at 1 pm. He said it could quickly turn nasty if I waited through the holidays. Anyway, fun fun! I'm eating a donut before I go.
We don't have dental insurance, so all the charges are 100% our responsibility. I'm driving myself there. Hubby said if I don't feel safe driving home he'll come and get me. The office is only a 4 to 5 min drive from my home. It's in the same building as my psychiatrist's office. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Aurelius710, beauflow, Blue_Bird, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#4
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Nurse called. My blood results from Monday came back. All normal. Dont ave hyper thyroid! I still have to do the urine catch to check my calcium levels. And they said no nsaids (which I dont take anyway) and plenty of water.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, Aurelius710, beauflow, Blue_Bird, Guiness187055, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#5
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Every time I step more than a few feet out of my house, my neighbor is banging on my door the next day, under the guise of being a 'friend' to check on me. I don't know how many of you recall, but one day this past spring, I first ventured out into my yard to do yard work, having been inside up to that time, afraid to even use my own yard.
Then my neighbor texted me the next day after I hadn't heard from her for months. Yesterday I decided to walk, rather than drive, to the mailboxes where we get our mail. Two men came out at the same time as I was there, and sure enough my neighbor was banging on my door the next day. It was the first time I had walked to my mailbox. I have otherwise driven to the box and just step out, get my mail, and drive on. I live in a prison in my house but dont' have the energy and mental clarity to make a move, so I am trapped by these truly awful people. I also don't go out in my yard even to mow or rake leaves. I get someone to do it for me. This neighbor, who pretends to be my friend, has literally called the police dozens of times to make a 'wellness check'. Then I get armed men banging on my door and shouting out my name. So I am terrified every time I deal with her wondering when is the next time she will call the police.
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BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Aurelius710, beauflow, Blue_Bird, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#6
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Today is the shortest day of the year so don't forget to build your bonfires tonight to call the sun to return!
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous46341, beauflow, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Aurelius710, beauflow, Blue_Bird, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#7
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I'll just clarify those are the only two times I've ventured outside in my neighborhood except for driving. i go for walks elsewhere. Both times I stepped out of my house, I hear from this woman, M, who lives across the street. Yesterday she was banging on my door in the mornign while I was making breakfast for my son. It can't just be a coincidence.
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BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Aurelius710, beauflow, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#8
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Quote:
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Anonymous41462, Sunflower123
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#9
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It is Chaos City out there. I drove my shopping cart like a fighter jet and had to reach over other carts to pick up produce. Not going anywhere except for my second back procedure Christmas Eve morning and maybe get drinks from Starbucks. If I get gift cards I'll wait until the New year to get anything. (I know I have at least one.)
Doing well right now. Home loan company received most of the money this morning. Will find out if we have a different payoff amount after Christmas. Will be happy to be done with these bastidges. I'm feeling good at the moment. Will hopefully keep at it. Time to go make chili... Lots of love and hugs to you all. |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, Nammu, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#10
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Quote:
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![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() beauflow, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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#11
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Today is my daughter's first day of Christmas vacation. We just got back from her dental appointment. She has an area where a cavity started on 2 teeth, the area became brittle and broke off. So we have to go back in January to get 2 fillings. We have dental insurance, but it's not great. At least, the office did let me apply the $50 off $100 or more dental treatment they mailed out that expires on Dec. 31, so that's $50 off, still going to be something like $113 to treat, with the nitrous. She is super anxious, and of course the insurance doesn't cover the laughing gas, but I think if she doesn't have it, the dentist will have a harder time working on her, and she will be more nervous and upset. I worry about her having anxiety issues as an adult though I read somewhere once that people tend to be more afraid of going to the dentist than to the doctor.
Today is H's last day as a high school teacher. He has to give a final exam to his students and pack up his classroom. I think it's bittersweet for him. He likes the kids. He likes teaching. But the principal, assistant principal, school district dump so much work down on the teachers, and they are not paid for having to work 60, 70 hour weeks. Plus, the health insurance is horrendous. He will be teaching some industrial engineering related statistics at the university level starting in January. I know the students start classes on Jan. 22 there, but we don't know when H's first official day of work will be. Plus, he has to come up with a syllabus for his courses and one has an online section as well as a lecture section. Basically the same class, but the students can register to do it all online or take the lecture version. H doesn't know anything about when he will start there as the guy who hired him told him the university was basically shutting down for the holidays starting today, but that he will be working around Christmas, just not Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and H is supposed to talk to him then. This morning, I ran a lot. So much I felt sick afterward, or maybe it was running so far on an empty stomach. Also, I think the additional 100 mg of Seroquel is making it hard for me to get going; I left a message for the pdoc to call me this afternoon. I am hoping to go back down to 400 mg Seroquel and just see how I do, or maybe trying 450 mg instead. It's the choice between being a bit more manicky than depressed while mixed or exhausted. I like being hypomanic better, but it causes me to overspend, interrupt people talking all the time, talk pretty much in stream-of-consciousness (no filter, causing me to hurt people's feelings when I don't mean to). I don't think I can deal with this much added fatigue, and then things happen like I become non-compliant in taking my medication and before I know it, I'm not taking what I should be or decide it's a good idea to just stop all meds (yeah, that's ended me up in the hospital). Stupid bipolar.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, beauflow, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#12
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I just got back from the pharmacy after my appointment with the endodontist. When I got there for the root canal, the technician took a 3 D image of that part of my mouth. The x-ray at my regular dentist wasn't 3 D. When the endodonist came in and looked at the 3 D image, she said that BOTH of my two front teeth needed root canals. Good grief! She recommended I get both done at the same time. I asked if there would be some price reduction getting both done on the same day, and they looked into it and reduced the price by $150 only. But that is better than no reduction. The price at the endodontist was $2900 total with the reduction. That doesn't include what I paid my regular dentist this morning, and what I'll need to pay him in January for him to put the "final" fillings in the holes in my two teeth.
The root canals were actually not that bad. Really, I've disliked simple dental cleanings even more. However, the Novocaine (or whatever she shot me with) is wearing off. I'm experiencing some major soreness right now. She prescribed antibiotics to take for a number of days. I've already taken the first dose. I also took some Tylenol for the soreness. I'm not supposed to chew anything much using my front teeth until the final fillings for the holes are in. That's sometime after January 4. The likely cause of my need for root canals is years of clenching and grinding my teeth. Both my dentist said that, and the endodontist, too. The endodontist said that my two front teeth are so worn down for a person my age. She said I should really get the stupid mouth guard. This is of course maybe the fifth or sixth time that has been suggested. I mentioned to her, like to the others, that my problem is no so much clenching/grinding at night as doing so during the day because of stress, likely related to my mental illness. Last edited by Anonymous46341; Dec 21, 2018 at 04:53 PM. |
![]() Anonymous45023, beauflow, Nammu, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#13
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Hoping for you to feel better soon! ![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() tecomsin, Wild Coyote
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#14
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Thank you, Innerzone! I guess it could be much much worse.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#15
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Quote:
![]() Dental work is so very expensive! It's disheartening! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, Sunflower123
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#16
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Rough day and I don't know exactly why.
![]() It's a very dark, cold rainy day here. Very tired and in more pain today. I was up early and ready to dig in, yet was overcome with fatigue and with pain. I've had two better days in a row, which was very encouraging! Now this, which can feel quite discouraging. I'd had big plans for today. The holiday is getting very close and I have lots to do before company arrives. I don't have to be so concerned about baking. BirdDancer is mailing some cookies overnight, thankfully! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Love to All! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, Guiness187055, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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![]() Nammu, Sunflower123
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#17
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Quote:
Just take things one step at a time. If something doesn't happen, it's OK. |
![]() Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#18
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Went out to lunch today with my whole work team. I'm on PTO, but I met up with them to enjoy a "Christmas lunch." We went to a BBQ place and I don't like/eat BBQ, but I ate some French fries and homemade donuts there, both of which were pretty good. The fries were a little salty, though.
Otherwise, doing so-so, more on the sh_tty side. Been so exhausted lately and for no good reason. Maybe it's because I haven't taken my Ritalin in 3 days -- I'm not sure. I'm also still feeling a little down, but not as bad as before. Though, I could just be tired and that's why I feel kind of sh_tty. Tiredness can definitely make one feel sh_tty. I hope everyone else has/had a good day today. I wish I could be more upbeat. I slept a whole 9 hours and then took a 3 hour nap, and I'm still tired. I'm certain that I'm tired from oversleeping. |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, Blue_Bird, Guiness187055, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#19
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I'm having a nice day. I'm not upset that I have been sleeping as much as I have. It's much better than how I was a week ago not sleeping and all agitated, etc
I watched a funny Christmas movie and started cleaning. I also played with my cats, they have so much fun chasing around the cat teaser toy or whatever they're called. Basically a long piece of fabric on a stick. I ran around and they chased after it. They had so much fun lol they actually wore me out.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Anonymous41462, beauflow, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Nammu, Wild Coyote
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#20
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Feeling fab why not Tis the season and all. Got most the presents wrapped just have about 20 more to wrap. I finished all mines last night. So this 20 are my parents gifts. I packed my case to go to my parents. I usually go on Christmas Eve for a week but I'm going over earlier. Getting right into the spirit. Songs a playing, hat is looked out, jumpers I have 4 of lol!! I'm so excited. Food is being bought as we speak. Love it!!
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, Guiness187055, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() beauflow, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#21
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I hate the IOP. It's so overwhelming. We don't do anything and it's mostly teens. I want to say "f*** it" and discharge, but it's all I got. i'm sick of being afraid of everything, and crying before or after I eat anything and take meds.
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, beauflow, Blueberrybook, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, VerMOZZica, Wild Coyote
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![]() tecomsin, Wild Coyote
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#22
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Spent most of the afternoon sitting on our futon reading next to my daughter. She’s entrenched in Harry Potter. It’s been a nice way to pass the afternoon
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous46341, beauflow, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
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![]() Blue_Bird, TheSeaCat
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#23
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Last day of work until January 2nd! I had a great day today. I’m happy to have ten days off but I’m not fussed about going back to work either which is nice. I love my job!
I finished wrapping my son’s gifts. It took me two and a half hours and they look like **** because I hate wrapping with a passion. I had about 25 gifts to wrap between what I got him and what my mother in law got him. It sucked. But I watched the Santa clause while doing it so it wasn’t so bad. I almost didn’t get there to pick him up on time though because it took me so long. Oh well I made it. I’m all prepared for Christmas. I just have to make the lemon cookies and Christmas toffee still, and then I have to wrap one more present (just going in a gift bag) and I have to make a crab ball for Christmas Day. I’m seeing RS three days in a row. We’re going to his cousin’s birthday party tomorrow, then he’s coming over Sunday to give my son and my mom their gifts, then we’re going to his aunts house for Christmas Eve. I’m very happy about this. I love spending time with him and I’m glad he gets along so well with my son. I hope I can get up the motivation to finish my Christmas cooking tomorrow!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, beauflow, Guiness187055, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() beauflow, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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#24
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Much better day today still depressed but was able to get out of bed. I did three loads of laundry, went out to dinner with my wife, and did some last minute Christmas shopping. Hope everyone had a good day.
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Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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#25
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About the saga with nosy neighbors and calling the police. I had literally asked myself how long it would take before M would be banging on my door after meeting my neighbors at the mail box. The only reason I opened the door was that she would go away and not call the police out of her 'concern' for me.
Blueberrybook, thanks for your response. I'm literally the last person who would call the police or do anything to bring their attention to me. If I were to contact them they would be at my door, breaking it down again if I don't open. They literally busted my door last year because I wouldn't open it because i was afraid of them.
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BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Closed Thread |
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