I thought i felt a flicker of my Spring hypomania this morning. I woke up with the warmth of yesterday's sun still humming in my bones. After a mostly disappointing weigh-in, i rallied and jumped in the shower. I haven't showered in the morning in ages. I have been doing it at night which is not ideal as i'm not as fresh the next day. But today it was easy. Then i tore out to the grocery store to buy many nice things to cheer up my diet.

But it was so cold and windy today my good energy was squashed. I tried to sit out in the sun with my dog again but i caught such a thorough chill that i couldn't get warm for hours and am back to feeling lousy. When, oh when, will Spring come?

Well it is 1:30am and there's no way in hell I can sleep. I kinda want to take more Ambien, sleep 3 hours, then wake up and take more, sleep another 2 hours, repeat for like a week.

[scatterbrained04]

I think my sleep has slightly decreased over the last week by about an hour on average. Not hugely significant, but I keep waking up for the day at 3 or 4am and have zero ability to "sleep in." I got up this morning at 3am, but I did fall asleep about 8pm, but dammit it's Saturday (no work).

no sleep again.

not even rest

feeling a little unwell today as well- the food yesterday didn't turn out that great, sort of made me feel sick

a bit hot too so I have the window open a wile to let in a breeze
no plans

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I thought i felt a flicker of my Spring hypomania this morning. I woke up with the warmth of yesterday's sun still humming in my bones. After a mostly disappointing weigh-in, i rallied and jumped in the shower. I haven't showered in the morning in ages. I have been doing it at night which is not ideal as i'm not as fresh the next day. But today it was easy. Then i tore out to the grocery store to buy many nice things to cheer up my diet.

But it was so cold and windy today my good energy was squashed. I tried to sit out in the sun with my dog again but i caught such a thorough chill that i couldn't get warm for hours and am back to feeling lousy. When, oh when, will Spring come?

I agreeee I’m SO TIRED of the cold!!!!

I went to a mental health support group. Amazing how much I know from reading here around the forum—they were asking questions about things we talk about here all the time. I like having a place to go talk. I have no friends I see socially.

I’m up at 4 in the morning, WTH! I thought I was going to sleep in today, sigh.

I hate being the way I am right now. Something is just wrong with me psychologically right now, but I don't know what it is, nor can I fix it anyways since I don't have a pdoc.

It's so dumb that I have to wait so long for a new pdoc. Why must I have to wait for a 1 hour intake appointment? Why can't I have an emergency appointment NOW and do the intake later? All I need is an antipsychotic boost. Just give me that and I'll be okay. But I guess that's too much to ask for. So I suppose I'll just continue this downward spiral and hope I don't do anything rash or anything that'll land me in the hospital (ER, IP, whatever).

[wildflowerchild25]

I woke up at 7am after going to sleep at 1am. Even though it’s saturday and I can sleep in. After getting only 4 hours of sleep the previous night. I’m getting tired of this nonsense. No joke. I hate not sleeping as much.

In addition I feel very depressed this morning. Could be a crash from not sleeping or the inevitable crash from this weeks-long hypomania. Either way I feel like crying and I want to go back to sleep but I can’t sleep tempted to take Ativan to sleep the day away but I got **** to do. Ativan trips me out plus it would probably just make things worse, plus that’s not what it’s there for.

Uuuugh I don’t like it. This happened the last time I spent time with nv as well, I’m guessing it might be a trauma/grief reaction too because I feel so strongly for him. It’s all so ****ed up.

Why can’t things just be easy for once?

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I hate being the way I am right now. Something is just wrong with me psychologically right now, but I don't know what it is, nor can I fix it anyways since I don't have a pdoc.

It's so dumb that I have to wait so long for a new pdoc. Why must I have to wait for a 1 hour intake appointment? Why can't I have an emergency appointment NOW and do the intake later? All I need is an antipsychotic boost. Just give me that and I'll be okay. But I guess that's too much to ask for. So I suppose I'll just continue this downward spiral and hope I don't do anything rash or anything that'll land me in the hospital (ER, IP, whatever).

I’m so sorry you’re suffering blue. I’ve had similar situations. Maybe putting a countdown on your phone might help because then you could take it one day at a time and be like ok, only 21 more days, ok, only 16 more days, etc? Of that might make it worse, I dunno. I just feel for you.

Keep coming here and talking to your online friends. Reach out for support until you can get in with the new doc. We will help as best we can.

I've mentioned elsewhere that I have come into some money. And so begins the wild ride of excitement and adventure. So begins the high.

[Blueberrybook]

I slept 6 hours and walked 4 miles this morning. I actually stopped and chatted a bit with a neighbor walking his dogs.

[99fairies]

Good news... I have been doing so much better. I look forward to starting my day now, instead of just wishing I could stay in bed all day. Good sleep, good eating, and good at taking my meds.
Quality of life has improved greatly!

[Wander]

Still IP. Been four days now. Meds have helped a bit but have side effects like nausea and weight gain. Despite this I am still suicidal and agitated. Doctor doing his best to calm me down. I will have to take the semester off University and that makes me feel hopeless. I feel like I’m losing so much all over again. I don’t know how to cope without hurting myself. I won’t though as I love my family.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am VERY HAPPY for you!
You do great things with your energy, too!

WC

Awww thank you so much Wild Coyote!! I am ALWAYS so happy when I hear from you, especially when you give me so much praise and support!! Wishing you a wonderful Saturday, (I hope your migraine was able to go away dear friend).

As for me, today has been fantastic. The sun is shining nice and bright and it is turning out to be a beautiful Saturday. Finalized my plans to go out to lunch with an old friend to celebrate her birthday, so looking forward to some FUN tomorrow!!

Spent the last two hours working REALLY HARD on my latest blog post, I put EXTRA effort in writing material that can help people now. It's my new mission!!!

Have some more cleaning and organizing to do today, but I am taking a little bit of a break to sit around, listen to music and post on PC.

I hope everyone is having a FANTASTIC DAY!!!

[Victoria'smom]

I don't feel like living. I'm so sad I'm spending a month and a half at my parents house. I feel like I'm losing time with my son he only has 2 years before he's off to college. I'm not doing well with him getting older. I'm crying a lot and just want to sleep. I've thought of taking my sleep meds during the day to sleep. I know it's contradictory. I know I have to be present when I'm with my parents and not regret my decision. I know I have less time with my parents as they're getting older. How do I figure out if this is situational or if I'm in a low mood?

[leomama]

Laundry and cooking day

[Under*Over]

I have a lot to do today but Im being lazy so far.

Ill get to it though. Its only 2, still have plenty of time.

[Unrigged64072835]

Spent this morning and part of this afternoon doing an emergency visit for my daughter's cat. Vet wanted to do a bunch of things but we only asked for an X-ray. That was a good thing. Found out the cat has a bladder stone. We're trying a specialized diet to see if it will go away without surgery. It also means she can't eat the same food as our cat. We'll have to babysit them as they eat because they will take food out of the other cat's dish in a heartbeat, and our cat is already on a prescription diet for food allergies. Lots of fun!

So chilling out before I cook dinner. Thanks to the kids, we have IKEA meatballs and gravy. We'll make the mashed potatoes from scratch, though.

Walked to the mailbox. It was cold and windy, I twisted my foot on the way there, and didn't realize I had the wrong keys until I got there. It seems silly to drive the car for a short trip, but I might do that so I can stay warm. I rarely do this because of the agoraphobia, but twisting my ankle doesn't help either.

Mood is okay at the moment. Just worn out.

Hugs to those that want them.

Been isolating. Rough week. Going to try to go out and get some food as there's almost nothing to eat at this point.

Hugs to all who'd like them. Sorry I haven't kept up reading very well (just caught up this thread today though).

[leomama]

My daughter is getting a migraine but refuses to go to urgent care. She’s at work but says she’s fine. I’m frustrated but I have things to do.

[giddykitty]

So, I'm still clearly not ready for a full on internet cleanse, but I've been holding off on Facebook. That makes a big difference. I need some structure on Twitter though, because it's getting busier everyday too now, but still not as much as Facebook. Anyway, so I'm here, but only to check this thread and share.

So, did I say this yet? Maybe not. Well, I started Abilify last Friday with an increased dose equivalent of the Latuda I was on. I had some side effects. Pretty bothersome that first night, t bh, and scary for a few days (anxious me and my family about if things will happen again. -passing out). Anyway, just as soon as I contact the doctor with a suggested thought of decreasing the dose if it doesn't go away, I get better, but she already said to go ahead and half it. Well... I mean, I'm feeling stable now like after so long, I want to stay on this full dose...so I did. I really feel great! Well, I mean generally. I did get a touch of mixed feeling yesterday, which honestly, if I have to increase again someday, I'm a bit nervous of the side effects, but it seems to be holding it mostly in right now. Like, I'm a bit hypo, but I've enough sense to hold back from working out too hard to cause an injury. I'm deathly afraid of serious injury, but I also very much want to work out and lose the weight I gained during my last depressive episode. And, I'm still unsure that I won't be depressed free during my next menses. (Still trying to figure out if this is a trigger to my bipolar or if it's an overlapping issue. Probably bipolar, but then that is very rapid cycling, right?) Oh yea, and saw the gyno last week and she didn't say anything about PMDD. Pretty convinced that it's just bipolar, but she was just meeting me for the first time. I'm considering the IUD for the painful cramps, but part of me wants to see how the Abilify works through my next menses. Unfortunately insurance might be out for a month, so I've gotta decide fast what I want to do. Ugh! So much to do! I didn't even mention everything yet!

[Blueberrybook]

I got a 45 minute nap today. I have been running low on sleep and having hypomania, so that was good.

We went to a Spring Fling carnival thing at my daughter’s elementary school today. Unfortunately, I thought I was up to eating nachos...OMG, huge mistake! My stomach is not happy about it. I have noticed that since I had that surgery for a perforated ulcer, I have problems with eating high fat foods. Even the thought of foods like pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, chili, just churns my stomach. I thought I’d bring OK with nachos but apparently not just yet.

I walked 3 miles this AM, probably from the hypomania. Not much pain from the surgery incision, so that was good. At least, I am beginning to get some stamina back. The day before I had surgery, I was halfway up to running a 10 K (ran 3.61 miles according to my exercise app). I really hate that all that training was undone. But I guess I entered a life saving surgery in good shape minus the ulcer problem and my mental health issues; I think finally, it is working in my favor towards recovery. In the beginning, it was a catch 22. The trauma surgeon said fit, thin people tended to have lots more pain recovering from the surgery than people who were a bit overweight.

[Wander]

Morning from Australia. It is a wonderful hypomanic day here at 7am. Nurse said I barely slep 3 hours. But I feel awesome. Always tank at the end of the day so get ready for that winge. Haha

[Wild Coyote]

Dentist must have triggered my trigeminal nerve two days ago. Migraine and facial nerve pain for two days now. Ouch.

This does not help my mood.

Love to All!


WC

[Cocosurviving]

I was up at 6:15 AM to help my daughter get ready for a trip to the OKC zoo with her Girl Scout troop. I cooked her breakfast and walked our dog. Then we left to meet the troop. I made it back home and took my allergy meds then took a nap. I woke up and I was covered in hives and my bottom lip was swollen. I went to urgent care and the doctor said my allergies are just really awful. That I needed an allergy shot and Claritin plus two Benadryls at bed.