[Aviza]

I know meds work for me, and I am dependant upon them. It scares me to run low, or heaven forbid miss a dose (which I haven't done since I started them except for throwing up a few times). I know I can function normally because of these meds. Without them I hear voices, with them I don't. As far as moodiness it's much less too, but thankfully my emotions aren't all dulled out like they were on Abilify which stopped working for me.

My dad told me never let yourself get addicted to anything. Well I'm not addicted but the closest to an addiction I have is maintaining my medication. My mom is grieving the loss of her 2nd husband and says the meds didn't save him. Well meds do stop working after a while, even heart meds. Once our bodies build up an immunity towards them they're done. I think people should be made aware that all meds could eventually stop working, and maybe switch them up after several years. I was on abilify for 6 years, off meds for 3 years, tried abilify again non responsive, got latuda thank God for new meds or I'd still be crazy today.

I don't like being dependant on meds, but I've learned to live with it. And my mom is amazed to see that meds work. I think it gives her a zest for life seeing the radical changes that have happened to me because of a medication. I think of it often, I was on several meds before latuda. Several including a monthly shot that just dulled the voices but now they are gone. Except an occasional rare breakthrough. But then I really believe God speaks and it isn't often it was the other voices that were often.

I did get lost in a world, and it mixes with reality. But I like being more grounded and centered. My healed vision was taken away by God, now needing bifocals. I was in a battle for my soul. I choose God and when I did my healed vision went back to bad vision, which God said he would heal again (and has through contacts and glasses). But God did heal my ankle so now I can wear heels I've never been able to wear heels because I would limp and be in pain. I even have pictures of spirits.

I don't like being dependent on meds either. It's a sucky situation, and I can 100% relate.

With my new/current cocktail, I can't be off my meds for more than 36 hours (day and a half) without getting extreme nausea. So now I'm super dependent on them.

Like you, though, I'm glad that my emotions aren't dulled. Seroquel flatness was pure hell for me.

[BipolaRNurse]

I went three days and two nights without meds just this week, and by 5 AM this morning---after almost no sleep---I realized that I don't have the balls to go without them. The withdrawal is hell. I've been experimenting with meds this spring thanks to a bout of hypomania, which happens every year around this time. I want to come off some of them because I think I am overmedicated, but then again stable is a pretty good thing. I just hate being so flat emotionally and lacking motivation to do things.

[Pookyl]

I don’t see it so much as a ‘dependence on meds’. I see it as a fault in my neurotransmitters.
My brain has a fault and it needs assistance to work as it’s meant to.

[Shazerac]

It frustrates me that we fall into the trap of “I am dependent on Meds...therefore I am addicted.” I beat myself over the head with the addict label on a regular basis.

In a way it’s almost a blessing that I have diabetes as well as biplolar. I remind myself that without my diabetes Meds I am risking heart problems, blindness, amputations, etc. am I “addicted” to my diabetes Meds? NO ...do I need them? YES. Am I’m addicted to my bipolar Meds? I don’t know, but I’m sick and tired of trying to talk myself out of them. My life is easier when I’m on Meds. Is this taking the “easy” way out. I don’t care anymore.

[Under*Over]

This is something I fight every day. ‘Whats underneath?’ ‘Maybe im fine underneath now’ ‘maybe I should try and stop them/go down on them’

But no. Then I remember how just... awful it was before I found them. And though sometimes it almost feels like it isnt- its enough.

Im fairly obsessive about my meds too. Dont feel bad about yourself. Would you say you were addicted to food because you need to eat? Or addicted to air because you need to breathe?

This is a need, just like any other. Not your fault. BUT- it IS your responsibility to take care of- which means taking yoir meds- which you seem awesome about doing, or talking to a liscenced medical/mental health professional before changing anything

[Wander]

I too wish I could go without BP meds but have seen the positive effect they have on me, except for Benzodiazepines, which will take me one year to taper off as they are so addictive. Lithium has saved my life and Lamotrogine keeps the depression at bay. When I’m severe episodes I do need antipsychotics but only temporarily. When I look back to me without meds I shudder. I honestly doubt I would be alive.

[Unrigged64072835]

I remember me without meds, or ones that didn't work anyway. I was a wild woman.

I may be dependent on meds, but I have a lifelong illness that I don't want to get worse.

[pirilin]

Everybody is dependent on something. In my case, is peanut butter, no joke.