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#1
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Do you ever get damned sick and tired of waiting? #*$(j@
![]() We all hear the hang in there! This will pass when were going through a depression or manic phase. Its true but I HATE it!!!! I feel like Im wasting my life sitting around waiting for something to pass. ![]() Ive accepted the fact that Im in my 60s now. Im probably not going to win a Nobel Prize or invent a cure for cancer. I just wish I could feel a little more....I dont know....useful? Relevant? Making any kind of contribution to the World? I have horrible things happen in my life. Yeah, but I have wonderful people in my life who love me and care about me. Does that help? NOPE! I just sit here like a bump on a log. Waiting....
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![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
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#2
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Well... I'll be 70 soon.
![]() ![]() ![]() I am still married. (My wife's accomplishment... not mine.) But I have no extended family; and no friends or even acquaintances really... by choice. No good has ever accrued as a result of me having anything to do with anyone. ![]() ![]() ![]() I enjoy watching the British mysteries they show on our local public television station. One of them was titled: "Wallander". Wallander was a Swedish police detective. Toward the end of the series, Wallander was at the end of his career & was battling Alzheimer's. In one of the last shows of the series, there was a scene where another older man, whom Wallander had known for many years, says: "When you reach my age you come to realize you can only be the person you've always been." This is true for me. ![]() ![]()
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
![]() bizi, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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![]() *Laurie*, Nammu, Phoenix_1, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#3
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I'm waiting to win the lottery. I'm soon to be 60 and the last few years have accepted I'm not gonna impact life much. I can remember that I declared in my 20's that I wasn't gonna live life with regrets....pah ......lots of regrets
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Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#4
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waiting OMG. I am not sure how long I can wait. How have you all done for so long? I am in my 40s .
Depression waiting is the worst, give me some hypo for once. |
![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#5
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I kind of won the lottery...it didnt help...the universe threw a wealthy man at me. For some odd reason he wanted to marry me. Even stranger...I accepted his proposal. I usually went for the bad boy types, and my husband is a genuine nice guy. Now I managed to wrangle it around in my mind and manage to feel guilty for having money. It never ends. Im ridiculous.
I do need to work on accepting myself as I am. I have managed to do it in the past and felt better, but it sort of wore off. I look in the mirror and think who the hell are you? I need to drag out my workbooks or journal and start figuring out who I am again. Maybe Im getting manic.... ![]()
__________________
![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
![]() Nammu, Skeezyks, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#6
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Quote:
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__________________
![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#7
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Shaz. I just love your Eat a live frog , it makes me wonder what my day would be like.
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![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#8
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Quote:
![]()
__________________
![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#9
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"The waiting is the hardest part..."
-Tom Petty |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Phoenix_1, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#10
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Shazerac....I hear ya on this one....
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![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#11
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I have been thinking of this a lot lately... how I have spent years waiting, hoping meds might work, I might get better long enough to enjoy life again, etc. So many years have passed and things are not getting better, in fact they are getting more complicated!
Maybe the depression is worsening again? Still waiting for enough relief... to live life productively.... whatever that means. You start some interesting threads, Shaz. ![]() ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() *Laurie*, Pookyl, Shazerac
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#12
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If it helps you have made a significant and positive contribution on here
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Bipolar, ADHD, Social Anxiety |
![]() Shazerac
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#13
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Quote:
I'm not sure why your post brought that to my mind, WC, but it did. ![]() |
![]() bizi, Pookyl, Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu, Pookyl, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#14
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Im always waiting but then again do we all MI or not just wait for the passage of time ?
Wait for alarms to go off , breakfast, lunch, shopping, pay bills etc etc Im in a living hell but I have stopped waiting I just have accepted that eventually I wont want to leap off a bridge. Life is so hard sometimes ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() bizi, Nammu, Pookyl, Wild Coyote
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![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#15
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Soooo over the waiting. Nothing changes with waiting. Acceptance is a good idea.
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Pookyl BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#16
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Yeah acceptance is a good idea. But I fight it still.
__________________
![]() Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg ![]() |
![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#17
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Acceptance is such an easy idea but so hard to accomplish.
__________________
Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() bizi, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#18
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Quote:
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#19
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Yes! Very true!
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#20
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I got tired of waiting. As we wait, the clock ticks. I turned 50 a few years ago and took it upon myself to find something new. I climb mountains and took it upon myself to dive in......like a good BP will. But I haven't let go - 3 years later, I'm still having fun. I'm convinced the challenge, circulation in my body, and fresh air cleans out the bad mojo. I'm also trying to get healthy again. I'm a lifelong birdwatcher, that's a fun pursuit too. I took up guitar and I enjoy it as well even though I suck. These are all things I can do in my own realm at my own pace on my own time.
Take a few small steps, find something challenging, and see where it goes. My best quality is that I don't give a s*** what people think of me, thus I don't need to "be useful" to "feel worthy". I just own it on my own terms. |
![]() Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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