people are so insensitive

Last time at Scrabble club this woman was excitedly telling me about a health book she is reading that said that depression can be cured by helping others 'because then you're not thinking of yourself.' I've tried volunteering. Eight different assignments. Only one worked out and that was in another city. One out of eight are not good odds. I should have whipped out my scars and said, "If you think a fuucking volunteer assignment is going to cure my pain you're crazier than i am!"

Then she tried to tell me health problems can all be caused by things we eat and how we should all grow our own vegetables. Funny thing is, up to now, i really liked this woman. We connect about classical music and i would have considered her a casual friend but now i think she is lousy. Every time i get excited about someone new and get to know them better i just end up thinking they're fools.

I like the "you're crazier than I am" line, as a line, but of course I don't recommend saying it out loud. Which you know already, since you wisely refrained. I would have also been tempted to call that woman everything but a human being. "Either show me your medical degree, or shut your mouth," is another thing I've wanted to say but didn't.

When people think depression/anxiety/bipolar/PTSD is ONLY a matter of being self-centered, and deny that it's an honest-to-goodness medical condition.... ugh.

I'm sorry you faced that today, people can be idiots. Best you find out now. I hope you can find someone who isn't as judgmental.

People like to think they have an easy solution for complicated things.

Precisely. On top of everything else it is also so patronizing. I find it even online sometimes.

I am extroverted and I often start talking before I think it through. I call people on those comments. If you want to judge me, we will not be friends. I argue the same for other people as well. It's not okay.

Some people almost sound like they think they won’t die if they do whatever latest health fad is out there.

Ignorance is bliss I guess.

Yeah, all those health nuts are gonna feel really stupid when they're lying in a hospital bed dying of nothing. LOL.

wow what a ****er!.

I think I'd punch her hard

Tell her that you have a bridge to sell her.

I think there is some truth (not total truth) in what your scrabble pal said -- I was much healthier when I had a job and was able to 'keep busy' (distract myself from myself), but i haven't been able to hold a job since 2001-2003. After I became disabled, i could focus on nothing BUT myself, with rare exceptions.

I agree, there are far too many insensitive people on this planet (and this doesn’t make them “strong” people, it’s more likely they are “ignorant” or “angry” people )

I wouldn’t have appreciated her comments either

Someone suggested “volunteering” to me recently, there’s nothing wrong with the suggestion in itself but it isn’t always the most helpful suggestion .. I wasn’t asking for “advice” etc .... (and I’d already thought of that, tried it etc... )

This is often sadly so true....

Hey, you know, we are what we eat.

Sounds like my husband. He believes in asking God to heal us (and if we ask hard enough, we will be healed), and that if we eat the right things we won't be ill in any way. btw, he gets his list of foods that should be eaten off of radio programs When I tell him those programs are entertainment, not fact, he gets defensive.

He refuses to get medical care even though he has severe OCD and anxiety. He refuses to see a doctor for anything, yet he is terrified of dying.

Bottom line, he is terrified of science, which he doesn't understand and is too anxious to learn about. Fine, he can live how he wants to live. But when I tell him I have chronic back pain I really, really do not want to hear about how God will heal my back if I ask or that I need to stop eating food with olive oil in it and my bipolar will magically go away.


I'm really, seriously fed up with fake science. I truly never want to hear about it, ever again. To me, blind belief in that stuff simply betrays ignorance. I am entirely supportive of eating a normal, healthy diet and of treatments (such as acupuncture) that have helped me, without a doubt. But I don't want to be preached to about any BS.

People who talk like that never really had depression, much less bipolar. Would they go to a person without a leg and say, "if you volunteered more and ate healthy you'd get a leg back?"

I’m so sorry you had to hear that. People are so ignorant and it annoys me to no end.

((((( whatever2013 ))))))

I am sorry you didnt like what she said.

I am one of the scarred inpatient nuts that did turn life around by ditching the drugs, growing my own food and improving gut health. Plus I 've volunteered for over 15 years and agree that this is a wonderful thing to do. It was a great distraction and not the sort of thing you throw away after a few sessions. Like meds - the benefits can take months.

I guess I find it insensitive that my coping strategies are hated on while the drug line is pushed. While you didnt like what she said - its doubtful she said it to hurt you. Its exactly the kind of advice I wish I had been given by the very first doc I saw - rather than a handful of drugs and pushed out the door. Life is much better now for me and I was the kind of crazy they lock up and throw away the key for.

I am sorry that the advice was not what you wanted to hear, but that does happen in life sometimes and it was very unlikely done with insensitivity as other comments on this thread are. Maybe you could observe her life and find how she keeps her happiness, it sounds like you have a lot in common, and it would be such a shame for you to cut off a potential friendship with someone who cared enough to share their health hacks.

I no longer trust medicine after my "mental" health ordeal. God did heal my chronic back pain, and if I was dying of nothing I would not mind, nor delay it, because I do not fear death at all. There are real people with real feelings who do find solace in those methods and it is deadly to discourage a healthy lifestyle among people who are so unhealthy.

I find your comment to be uncalled for on this thread. No one is "hating on" you, at all.


I volunteer a lot and find it very helpful BUT if I'm severely depressed or manic I cannot volunteer. Can you?


Can you tell me how you know with certainty that God healed your back pain? I'm genuinely curious about that.

I don't get where the OP said volunteering and living a healthy lifestyle were bad things. Only that she felt belittled when someone who doesn't know her from George Washington reduced her medical conditions to ONLY that. People who don't have a medical degree are not qualified to speak definitively on the subject of medicine. Period.