Bipolar and Friends

I have 3 friends that I can tell anything too- even bipolar issues. One has a degree in psychology, one has a PhD in Behavioral Pharmacology and is a social worker, and the last Ive known for over 20 years and we tell each other everything.

I live in a smallish town and know most people in it. I'm friendly with and chit chat with a lot of people when I see them out and about, but I don't really have any one I'm close enough with to call a friend.

I have fallen off of the face of the earth since my last manic episode. It was really bad and I upset a lot of people. So no as of now I really have no friends.

I have the boyfriend who loves me unconditionally, an ex who is currently in medical school, his friend who is going into psych who is also Bipolar; but other than that my friend list might as well just be an empty void. Granted my family has been supportive throughout this whole thing. Most of my friends were coworkers and when I got fired they ran for the hills. I'm happy with my support system.

I have some great friends who know about my bipolar and I know they will stand by me no matter what. One of them has a history of being sicker than me in the past. She has plenty of perspective to understand me. So why do I still feel like no one can understand what I go through? I should be incredibly grateful, and I am, but I still feel disconnected. I don’t know why

I'm not good at friends.

I deal with both mental illnesses and chronic pain conditions. I also help my elderly mom; she lives with us. Between my marriage and all of this, I do not have a lot of time/energy for friendships, esp. problematic ones.

I do treasure the few that I do have.


WC

I do have friends and they do find my lovable, though I don't see why.


I just try to be attentive, nice, not whine all over people or isolate too much. Like I know the theory. It's hard to keep up with that at times.

Most of my friends are from my social bubble, so that helps. We have common ground. something to connect on.

My close group of 3 friends has always been super supportive even though they have no idea what I'm going through. When I moved back in with my parents in GA, and I was hospitalized, they withdrew a little bit which hurt my feelings but I can't expect them to check on me 24/7 when they have their own lives/jobs/problems.

I think bipolar has done a great job of making me feel totally alone and thinking "is there anyone like me?". Even on this forum everything we all feel is so different and varies. No bipolar is the same in my opinion.

There are a lot of nights I have to tell myself "people care about you". Can't let the demons in your head make you feel alone.

/rant over