Bipolar and Friends

Do you have friends and if you do, what is your relationship with them like?

Strained is my usual experience. The most understanding of people seem to also be bipolar, but they have to be at that point of healing themselves first

I have four girlfriends that love me entirely. Two are the ones I can tell ANYTHING to without fear of judgment or rejection. Everyone else in my life are acquaintances

I have two friends who happen to be my sisters in law. I can tell them anything. My one has held my medication for me in two different occasions when I was unsafe holding it for myself. The other one has come up to “babysit” me when feeling extremely suicidal. They love me for me.

I don’t have any friends outside of family, however. I’ve never been good at maintaining friendships. I suppose I am too self centered.

I have two really good friends that are around my age. I don't see them as much as I would like, but that happens as you age. I have some older people that I'm around that I would consider friends. They have a good amount to say. I feel like I can learn from them, and what I should avoid.

With all of these people they know I'm bipolar, and they know that if due to the condition somethings can be strained. But despite it all I have been able to build people around me that I consider friends that I have good relationships with.

Behavior Cognitive Therapy is what helped me, and what still helps me today. I know that if I'm around to friends all the time I get stressed, but at the same time I want to be around them at times. I have to equal it out so that I don't overload myself with stress.

I have a decent amount of friends, a couple close friends and a best friend I can tell anything to. Everyone knows I'm bipolar and it doesn't effect my friendships. All in all, I think my friendships are positive and healthy. I'm kind of picky who I consider a friend. For me they need to bring something to the table and add something to my life (and vice versa of course).

I have what I consider a good number of friends with whom I communicate frequently. I don't like the phone so I do a lot of texting. I have one friend from here and we text daily. She is the only person I know IRL who totally gets it, and we have more in common than just BP. The rest of my friends are either not BP or they are very well-controlled with few episodes (one friend is cyclothymic). I feel blessed to have people I can contact any time of the day or night if I need to, but I rarely if ever need to.

Yeah I know how you feel

I'm happy that everyone else has people they can talk to. That is so great. I'm also here if anyone needs to talk!

No because I'm not out of the closet with my BP, and I also don't care to make friends in general. Well, I have a friend from here who I regularly text and someone else who I regularly email, but that's it.

I know that sounds lame, but I enjoy flying solo nowadays. I don't mind having to friends because I have acquaintances at work and I get my socializing in that way, as well as get my socializing through this forum. I just don't trust many people after getting ****ed over a bunch of times.

I am sorry that people have mistreated you blue.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Yeah, I hear ya. I don't have many friends either(well never really did lol). I only see myself meeting others with bipolar since people who don't have it will just think I am crazy....

I have never been the kind of girl/then woman that had oodles of friends, but in my youth I always had a few at least. I would say that it was more often my doing than other peoples'. Really thinking about it, I don't think I've ever been capable of giving enough to many people. That has often been the problem.

Just before, through, and after the worst of my illness struck, the few friends I had disappeared. Again, mostly my doing. Actually, at the time(s) I used to blame them, but now that I've stabilized and really processed my past, I do believe it was more a combination of my doing and the doing of my bipolar behavior.

Let me say that I did have one good friend that stuck with me for a while into my worst years. A while before, she was fired from the workplace at which she met. That often causes a distance. But we found each other again, but she was not an everyday friend anymore, but a once per week or every other week friend. She dropped away even further when she had twin babies. I never had children, so we stopped having much to talk about.

I started to really isolate at one point. I wasn't even communicating with my siblings or father that much. Not because I don't love them, but again, because giving to others became so difficult. They actually had their own lives, too.

I do have a few friends that are out there that I rarely communicate with, including the one I mentioned with the twin babies. I used to occasionally touch base with them through Facebook, but then I closed my Facebook account for a particular reason. The caused even more distance. Just recently two of those friends contacted me. I responded, but I haven't responded again to a follow-up e-mail from one, and the other has yet to respond back to me. It could be months before she does. Frankly, the next time I hear from the friend with the twins might be Christmas, in the form of a picture card. Both remember my birthday, so contact me then. I'm embarrassed that I don't remember their birthdays. Do I seem horrible, or what? I used to at least get notifications of them via Facebook, but with no Facebook I no longer know.

I am thinking of creating a new Facebook account just to rectify the disadvantages I mention above. If I do, it will be a bare bones account with no links to anything else I write, and any posts will be ones that I'd feel safe having anyone in the world read.

Awww thanks for sharing. Honestly, life sucks with this illness. I feel like we get thrown to the side, because people don't get it. My relationships with people changed over the years, but I realized there is just not much I can do and this is my new life. I try to focus on things I can control and not people, because whether you have bipolar or not, you're relationships with people change and its just a part of life. Like you said, your friend had kids and thats her new focus. It sucks, but hey.

I have three friends and a cousin friend. They are all crazy in their own kind of way.
We don't live our lives like the rest. So crazy.

Because of agoraphobia and being socially awkward most of my socializing is online. My husband is here if I need to talk to somebody. The relationship with my daughter has matured a lot but she has enough drama in her life, plus she is moving out soon.

I used to have friends IRL but I've become more of a recluse as of late. I don't know if that will change once we move out.

I can't seem to form or maintain any friendships.

Only 3 if you don’t count my husband...my best friend from college (unfortunately she lives in New England, so I rarely see her). My other two friends I are my sisters, but I didn’t really have to go out of my way to form relationships with them. I am closest to my youngest sister (both are younger than I am) because she lives nearest distance wise, maybe a 40 minute drive to her house. My other sister lives in Texas, but it’s a large state; I am in the Houston area, and she lives near Dallas. It’s a good 6 hour drive, and even that depends on road construction and hitting lunch or rush hours in either Houston or Dallas. I usually talk the most about BP with my youngest sister though.

I’m grateful for my friends

I recently learned who my real friends are. When I lost my job it was a very high profile posityand caused me tremendous embarrassment, my husbsndv and I were really have problems, and I got arrested. There were a number who not only called but continuously check on me and invite me to finner. Others have complainey ignored or given the platitudes @we should get together sometime while others were hanging out to get dirt to help build a case for firing me. It sucks because I’m completely loyal to my friends but it has definitely een a valuable lesson

Sorry to hear that. Hope things get better for you.

I have very few friends. Some will tell you by my own choice but over the years I have learned very few people know how to deal with me. When I am stable, life is great, when I am hypomanic, I have more friends and "lovers" than I know what to do with, when I am depressed, everyone disappears.

I have been divorced 7 years and have had 2 short relationships. I was stable, but I don't trust others in their response to my illness so it is very hard to let people in.

I have family and 3 good friends. One I met through NAMI.

Its hard for me to let people in too. When meeting me, I don't expect them to overlook the bipolar. I expect them to run and I get it.

I've found friendships (and two marriages) impossible to sustain because people have been embarrassed by my erratic behavior in public, which I completely understand. I've learned to be content living alone and lead a quiet and organized existence. I live in a rural area now, so I'm acquainted with many, many people, and I can't even go grocery shopping anonymously. Many acquaintances have accompanied me to the ER (or called the police) when I've been in crisis, but they understandably keep some distance afterwards. One person didn't even invite me to her wedding, which was a big event here. I can see her point.

On the other hand, I know I can call on any number of people when I have situations not involving bipolar crises. For instance, I'm having a biopsy this week that promises to be brutally painful, and I expect I'll cry like a baby. I was advised that I won't be able to drive myself home afterwards. I'm very anxious about this, but a number of people have offered to take me. That's pretty comforting.

This weekend, I locked myself out of my car at WalMart. I had to borrow someone's cellphone to call the police, and they showed up in less than five minutes! I recognized the policeman from past bipolar incidents, and he couldn't have been more kind or professional. I was so grateful that he treated me like any other citizen.

I hope you are okay. This illness is a nightmare at times. Stay strong.