[Supanova]

Hi All

I was an active member of this community a few years ago and first off want to thank you for that support over that time. I visit from time to time and notice the same posters still here who were there for me then.

A few years ago I was a rotating psych ward patient. I was in and out of hospital ALL of the time, I went 11 years without having more than a few months of freedom in between admissions. $40,000 a year spent on therapy, more on inpatient treatment. I was on an outrageous amount of medication and had no idea of the extent of their side effects. I drew the line at ECT and weekly injections. I sought support on this forum but when I realised the meds were doing me more harm than good, I had to leave for my "new" life and deleted my account.

Fast forward to now and I am med free, back in the workforce, living independently in my own home and stable.

Looking back i can clearly see that the medication cocktails I was on were the cause of my issues. I have since discovered a physical reason via CT for my pain symptoms and the initial complaint which got me put on SSRI's was never in my head - there was a painful and physical reason for it. I did not react well to SSRIs and from there was diagnosed with Bi Polar, OCD, PTSD, PMDD and Anxiety. (Also major depression but that to me, was because I was told I was fked in the head). I agree I am an anxious type person, but off meds and out of psychiatric treatment this is MUCH easier to deal with. I was given near on every medication on the market.

Am I cured? I have ceased the medication and learnt to deal with my pain and anxiety in med-free ways. I work, I play I love life. There are so many improvements and I never knew life could be so amazing. Is this a bi-polar success story or was I never actually bipolar (despite it being on my hospital records)? Was it a misdiagnosis?

I have been out of hospital and treatment for 3 years - but the withdrawl from the meds was brutal and permanently scarring for me. I will never accept medication or a mental health label again. I am worried for others that may be in the same sinking boat - with no idea that learning to swim to shore brings joy I can not even describe.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Thanks for being a support forum for when I needed it. I hope my story resonates with others who are being tortured with inhumane treatment - perhaps misdiagnosed, and brings hope to those that have none. Life is worth it on the other side. I hope we can all find it.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Just wanted to say I'm happy for you AND I remember you
You were always so nice.

[~Christina]

Glad your doing so much better !

Yes often treatments are worse than an illness.

Good to see you

[wildflowerchild25]

So glad you are doing better. Sometimes dx’es Are just wrong! I’m glad you are able to live a med free life. And glad for your support from years ago.

[AspiringAuthor]

What was your name back then? I think I remember a similar name.

For me, I definitely have the disorder and I do need the meds that treat it well, but most meds made it even worse. Moreover, I believe that Lamictal monotherapy for an extended period of time as well as Nootropil (a European med) for a short period of time primed my mind for mania. I had had "leanings" but before nothing, in hindsight, beyond light hypo - now I can and did go full blown mania. So your post actually made me finally realize, and I have been lately hard at work thinking through my entire record of being on and off meds, that meds that were ill-fitting (Lamictal to cause mania, Risperdal to cause depression) actually started the wild swings - the swings were not naturally mine.

Thank you so much for the post and very glad to hear that you are loving life. I, too, for the most part.

I, too, am happy that you are doing well. I may not have been around when you were, but it's nice to see old members stop by for a visit.

I, of course, can't answer your question. However, to my knowledge, bipolar disorder is not yet curable. I have read that it can go into remission for long periods of time. I hope that if you do have bipolar disorder that you never have another episode again. Please always take good care of your mind and body, and try to avoid excess stress, if possible. I think that doing these things help ensure wellness. But if ever you have another episode, please don't despair. It is always disappointing when people get episodes after reprieves, when thinking it may finally be over.

I'm sorry you had such bad experiences with medications. I understand any anger about that. I've been fairly lucky, though, they've done me more good than anything, and any harms have been reversible or now are easily controlled. My current medications are the best of any I've had, and I'm happy with them. I still occasionally have mood lability, but it has improved drastically over the years. I can say with 100% certainty that without my current medications, I'd be in a much worse place. I do hope that they can be further reduced in the future. At this point, I personally see no good reason for me to go off of them. We are all different.

I'm glad you're doing well

[still_crazy]

hi. I was labeled with everything -but- severe mental illness, until a while ago. NPD, ODD, all kinds of stuff. when shrinks didn't want to hear what I Had to say, they put me down for "pathological liar" and "malingering." And now...

well, I'm labeled/diagnosed as "bipolar I." it is what it is. the psych drugs are minimal, I live comfortably, and I take tons of supplements (Orthomolecular). I do think that the supplements help reduce toxicity from psych drugs and improve overall health.

people have always gone crazy, long before psychiatry was around. some people got better, some ended up needing people to help them thru life, some turned tragic. has psychiatry improved life for the mad amongst us? I'm not sure. OK...I think not, honestly. And now...

personally, I think of myself more as a "psychiatric survivor" than a "Bipolar I" individual, but...good luck getting out of Mental Health, Inc. "Play the hand you're dealt." The "experts" call my progress and change "recovery," blah blah blah...truth is, I've been made miraculously healthy, normal, and even surprisingly intelligent. I guess they have to say something (?).

anyway...I'm glad you've moved forward in life, out of the psych world. I'm working on it, myself. tapering the psych drugs has been the easy part, for me, but...escaping the labels is proving -much- more difficult. i may have to get my act together and figure out a way to move, and never come back (Maybe...).

thanks for your post, btw. :-)

[*Laurie*]

Hi, I remember you very well.

I'm wondering why you're asking if you're cured if you're confident that you are feeling stable...if you're absolutely sure that you're doing well, why even think about it?

I don't know if your diagnosis was correct, or not. I do remember that you were having some pretty major issues when you used to be here.