[Gabyunbound]

My mother was just prescribed Xanax by her PCP to 'get her over the hump' (as she said he said) while she's trying to cope with a new cancer diagnosis and upcoming surgery. She also has advanced MS and is wheelchair bound, which, of course, makes everything worse.

I talked to her yesterday and she was a different person! Instead of irritable and quick to anger (she was already like this before becoming ill with MS and cancer), she was lovely: lively, empathetic, sweet, relatively optimistic.

I commented on her change in mood and she said, more than once, that it was 'fake,' that it wasn't real (because of the xanax).

Do you agree? Are we, on meds, only fascimiles of our true selves? On meds, do our current personalities simply overlay our 'real' personalities? Do they only cover up who we really are?

I know that pre-meds-that-work I was more irritable and a less empathetic person. I think I was so wrapped up in my intense moods that I couldn't get out of my head long enough to truly see and feel what others saw and felt. Now, levelheaded, I can, and I'm a better person for it. Or am I? Do these meds simply mask the real me? Does it matter?

When my Bipolar (I) was active (I consider myself in remission) was that 'me?' Now that I'm stable, am I now 'me?' Are both me...somehow?

I don't believe in a true self, or "real" personality, anymore. There are too many circumstances and situations that drastically change behavior that we will never know or need to know who we are in a vacuum. I'm a different person manic, depressed, mixed, stable on meds, before developing symptoms, in physical pain, hungry, sleepy, energized, at work, at home, in the grocery store, on a hiking trail, etc that it's not fair to say one of them is the real me and the rest aren't.
On meds that work, you are the you that is stable. Off meds you are the you that isn't. One isn't any more real or true than the other, just different circumstances.

[rwwff]

Meds help me be the self I choose to be. That is 100% real.

I'm stable right now on plenty of meds. I feel real. I will say that I don't spend much time worrying about some of the bad circumstances my husband and I are in, but I was about the same on this respect in my "normal" times pre medications. That's just me. And during times I do worry, it sucks. That's not the state I want to call real.

[Unrigged64072835]

I think I am more "me" on my current meds than without meds or on previous meds. I've settled down a bit (though it's hard to focus sometimes).

Being fake to me is when I know I feel crappy but put on a facade anyway.

[AspiringAuthor]

It depends on whether the medication is good. I am myself on Geodon, but was a different person (and psychotically depressed) on Risperdal, to list just one example.

I think it would be fair to treat the best "self" achievable with or without medication as the "true self".

[Gabyunbound]

Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor

It depends on whether the medication is good. I am myself on Geodon, but was a different person (and psychotically depressed) on Risperdal, to list just one example.

I think it would be fair to treat the best "self" achievable with or without medication as the "true self".

I really like this last bit you wrote. Thank you.

[Pookyl]

I’m my best me when taking meds.

Off my meds, or during an episode I’m still me but I’m me at my worst.

As a point of interest I met someone in hospital that had been on a single psych drug for 16yrs, felt well and decided the drug was no longer needed. Hence the 1st hospitalisation in 16yrs.
He was ‘in remission’/well taking the one drug. He forgot what it felt like to be unwell until he stopped taking the drug.

[AspiringAuthor]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

I’m my best me when taking meds.

Off my meds, or during an episode I’m still me but I’m me at my worst.

As a point of interest I met someone in hospital that had been on a single psych drug for 16yrs, felt well and decided the drug was no longer needed. Hence the 1st hospitalisation in 16yrs.
He was ‘in remission’/well taking the one drug. He forgot what it felt like to be unwell until he stopped taking the drug.

Wow, what a story!!

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel more myself on meds while stable. I like hypomanic me but I do things I normally wouldn’t do. I went on tinder this last time, which I never would have done. Turned out to be great for me because I met my boyfriend but still I really lucked out. I could have met some real creeps and put myself in dangerous situations.

I hate depressed me.

The only issue I’m having now is I seem to have lost my zest for life. I don’t feel overmedicated, just a little apathetic. I might be slightly depressed.

[~Christina]

The combo I am on is the best one ever when it’s side effects versus benefits.

Do I feel like me ? Yes I’m me I have a range of emotions that has nothing to do with bipolar.

When I am unwell I “ usually” have an idea of which way I’m headed and how fast. I try to be proactive but doesn’t always work of course.

Right now I’m edging on a mixed due to steroids for a physical illness, last dose is tomorrow and hopefully I can waddle outta that mess.

I guess I’m really just “me “ good bad or indifferent.

[Under*Over]

I believe medication helps me be my best self by removing some of the obstacles that make every day difficult. Its a disorder, not a problem with me as a person. Thats something I have trouble understanding sometimes- so I have to remind myself of it a lot