[Slightlydelusional]

I was shocked I went eleven months without fetal position depression, but for three days this weekend it hit.

I found about four triggers as I hit a perfect storm that brewed the whole summer and finally could take no more.

I lost my main toolbox item for two months which is walking due to injury, but happy to say I got back out for a walk today.

Hoping to get back to baseline ASAP as I have made so much progress, but scary when the beast comes back. I guess I learned Ill never be out of the woods.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Slightlydelusional

I was shocked I went eleven months without fetal position depression, but for three days this weekend it hit.

I found about four triggers as I hit a perfect storm that brewed the whole summer and finally could take no more.

I lost my main toolbox item for two months which is walking due to injury, but happy to say I got back out for a walk today.

Hoping to get back to baseline ASAP as I have made so much progress, but scary when the beast comes back. I guess I learned Ill never be out of the woods.

It is scary!
I am thrilled you'd had 11 good months!
I am happy you can walk again!
I also hope you get back to baseline, pronto!
I hope you'll keep us posted?

WC

[Movingon69]

I'm so sorry. I hope things are better now.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by Slightlydelusional

I was shocked I went eleven months without fetal position depression, but for three days this weekend it hit.

I found about four triggers as I hit a perfect storm that brewed the whole summer and finally could take no more.

I lost my main toolbox item for two months which is walking due to injury, but happy to say I got back out for a walk today.

Hoping to get back to baseline ASAP as I have made so much progress, but scary when the beast comes back. I guess I learned Ill never be out of the woods.

—-I think holidays, 3 day weekends can be hard on us because it gives us too much time to think. For me, that’s when I always imagine other people having these idyllic family get togethers. Why isn’t my family like the Waltons? It hurts. In reality a lot of families have big blowouts on these holidays, so I really have to try to stop that kind of thinking. The way I handled it best one year was to invite people from a support group who understood my issues. It was wonderful! Don’t beat yrself up. You’ll be back on your game in no time! Hugs!

[Slightlydelusional]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

It is scary!
I am thrilled you'd had 11 good months!
I am happy you can walk again!
I also hope you get back to baseline, pronto!
I hope you'll keep us posted?

WC

Thanks WC! It was nice to have 11 months. I still have FML depression but can function. The fetal position depression for me is horrific as I refuse to do anything but sleep and has lasted for months and terrifies me. I went from 212 to 259 last year in my last depression and have gone from 259 to now 218 in 9 months and I cant go back, it was so hard! I want to hit my goal of under 200 sooooo bad.

Originally Posted by Movingon69

I'm so sorry. I hope things are better now.

Thanks Moving, much better, but still feel it and hope to get back going strong later this week.

Originally Posted by luvyrself

—-I think holidays, 3 day weekends can be hard on us because it gives us too much time to think. For me, that’s when I always imagine other people having these idyllic family get togethers. Why isn’t my family like the Waltons? It hurts. In reality a lot of families have big blowouts on these holidays, so I really have to try to stop that kind of thinking. The way I handled it best one year was to invite people from a support group who understood my issues. It was wonderful! Don’t beat yrself up. You’ll be back on your game in no time! Hugs!

The holiday was a huge part as my work dries up and I lose income and creates a panic. So instead of losing maybe 2 days of pay last week I ended up losing 5 due to the depression.

The support group is a big problem for me and one of the triggers. I was going to a 12 step program very successfully for 8 months and than got into personal issues and refuse to go back as Im a stubborn fool. I have not slid back into the addiction (gambling), and have zero impulses, but its playing with fire and I miss the structure the program gave me. I still dont know what to do as that one meeting is the best option for me.