Really Nervous

I've only been sleeping about 4 hours a night, which for me means a hypo/mania phase is coming on.

I've also been running longer miles than normal and such little sleep another sign.

It's not bad right now. I'm moving and getting a lot of stuff done packing wise. I had the radio playing and I was dancing around the kitchen. I noticed by husband watching me. He walked up to me, put his hands on my cheeks, gave me a deep kiss (which is unusual for him), and said, "this is the wife I know and love."

Does this mean he doesn't like me stable? I get the frustration during depression and full blown mania. But, I made stupid mistakes during hypo phases. While I felt I was having a great day that comment scared me to death.

Anyone out there have a SO that has actually said they prefer the hypomania you? We are so new to this maybe he just doesn't understand the difference because he's been working so hard with me after he forgave me for the affair and decided to stay and work it out. I don't want to screw up again.

My husband has acted similarly when I've started doing stuff like that, particularly projects, not more running (I'm an overexerciser) or less sleep. But he will be happy and commenting on all that I'm doing, and I'm wondering if I'm really me or if I'm hypomanic. I don't know. I've been in the mental health system so long, I don't even know what my normal is like. So yeah, I think my husband prefers the hypomanic me best of all. I don't think he gets that hypomania can lead to full blown mania, that there is more to bipolar that straight depression or complete mania or that a condition such as hypomania even exists. He doesn't like to discuss my mental health, saying I'm using the labels as excuses or ways to define myself.

I'm struggling with that who am I really too. It scares me because I can make stupid decisions in the hypomania phase. He likes the happy go lucky me, the laughing, the playing around until it culminates into disaster. I am lucky that he doesn't mind talking about. I just couldn't burst his bubble yesterday because he was so happy to see me "happy"

No my husband prefers me stable. He gets nervous when I go either way.

He's been through a mania, a couple of hypomanias and a couple of long depressions with me. He'll go through hell with me again, but he's got issues of his own.

I often realize it's hypomania while he thinks it's normal happy productive behavior because I know I'm doing things related to hypomania. I need more sleep (actually, for some reason, I really hate it if I can't sleep at all, but many days I will convince myself 3.5 to 4 hours is good enough). And I really know running 10 miles when I need to gain weight is bad, bad, bad. But I never tell him how far I run. Because of the hot climate here, I run in the dark a lot (which is risky behavior in and of itself, a lone woman running at 3 AM). But then when it ends is financial disaster or I'm talking over everyone, he hates it. He doesn't agree with my being on meds, but he wants me on them when I go full manic. I really don't understand it. I don't think he really gets bipolar, but then again, it's hard to understand lots of things if you haven't walked in those shoes yourself.

Your husbands do not necessarily want you to be unstable. I think they appreciate the energy, playfulness, and apparent happiness.

My husband gets very nervous if I seem up or giddy. He worries about mania sometimes more than I do and even suspects I’m in an episode if I’m not.

I fully believe this. He has shown he has my best interest at heart even when he was going to divorce me. I'm new to the dx so maybe he just doesn't have a fully understanding of this yet. But, I just get worried or paranoid that he won't enjoy our lives if I get stable for an elongated period of time.

Anyone out there have a SO that has actually said they prefer the hypomania you? I prefer my SO when hypo as long as it's a good one. He prefers me as hypo too. That doesn't mean we don't like each other stable and we don't encourage each other to get and stay stable. There's something really sexy about a carefree, confident, outgoing person. We met when we both were manic. I think most BP's meet their SO's when they're (hypo)manic. An SO feeling that's your normal is understandable. I'm a firm believer that all of our "states" are truly us but it doesn't mean to not get help when you need it. In general we "ride it out" with medications. Our clinic is not much help unless you are at an appointment.

So true!