Manic

So I saw my Psychiatrist today haven't seen him in 6 months. So it goes along like this... I told Psychiatrist everything. Was in 30 mins instead of normal 10. I'm to go back on my meds I don't think this is gonna happen as I have tried and failed. He has given me a 7 day course of half my meds to start with and a sleeping tablet too. I should of ask for something for my anxieties. He says I definetly have bipolar I'm showing classic signs at the moment. Says he's gonna see me in 2-3 months rather than 6 months and is gonna talk to CPN and get her to see me 3 weeks at a time. I could cry.

So I had a list of symptoms that were troublesome. He sat and listened to me go through the 22 symptoms. He says the risky behaviour, alcohol usage, paranoia and delusions are all signs I'm manic. Says it's definetly bipolar type 1 nothing else.

I'm to pick my script up at the chemist I'll do it Wed. I acted on impulse and booked in to see a counsellor as I have been waiting 6 months to see a Psychologist on the NHS health care system in UK. I've been chatting to guys online and I'm Skype-ing these guys and being naughty there. I've never done that before.

Just letting off steam guys

Huh. Ive had those symptoms recently plus halluconations and my pdoc wrote me down as hypo. Grrrr

Letting off steam is good. Just letting you know I'm listening.

I've had there symptoms plus many more for over a month and a half. He says being off my meds isn't helping and I need to go on them. I don't have a desire to go on them though.

Consider yourself lucky. My shrink only ask me what I want. Starts typing and out I go in five minutes flat. With a bunch of new prescription that I ask for.
I tried to talk to "it" once, and "it" suggested therapy. Like that's not within the scope of his responsabily.
"It" is there to push drugs. Not to listen to stories.

You lucky girl you. Cheers.

I’m glad you saw your Pdoc

As for being told again you have Bipolar... sure it sucks... maybe just decide your treating symptoms not be worried so much about a label.

((((( hugs ))))

Hey I'm normally only in 5 mins and feel like it's a waste of time. But I'm glad I made itcwieth while. He was really understanding about everything

Yesterday I did loads and today I've literally just moved from my bed to my sofa. I feel deflated and shattered. I got 4 hours last night.

Why do I do this?? I'm chatting to these guys on Skype and I'm actually going on camera nude. Wtf! Why am I doing this. I won't go into details but I'm also doing things on the camera.

I'm planning on meeting this guy to begin with i was so excited but the more we spoke the more I got anxious and shy. I said how about in a few weeks time instead of next week. He got annoyed at me. But then I got irritated by him and haven't spoken to him again.

Wish I wouldn't do this sort of things!!

I'm glad your doctor listened to all your symptoms, but it's troubling you don't go back for 2-3 months. I know healthcare is different in the UK, but if I had a list of 22 symptoms, my pdoc would want to see me in a week.

Being told you are bipolar and likely Type I sucks, but, hey, at least you know what your diagnosis is. I got misdiagnosed with major depression and was medicated for that for over 10 years then switched to bipolar II and after I showed up at the pdoc's extremely manic, bipolar Type I after the pdoc witnessed my behavior.

I think it's cause I see a community psychiatric nurse and a community worker so if any issues they'll tell him I'm guessing?

I'm feeling great. I don't want the meds. I have no desire to take them. I saw my Community Worker today and I've asked her how I can take the meds when I've tried everything to take them. She's suggested I get the depot injection for the Depakote. I would get it weekly, fortnightly or monthly. It goes into your muscle in your arm or your bum. I'm dubious about it. But she says it has great effects and a lot of people get stable on it effectively. She says she wonders if this is the next step for me as I just can't/won't take the med. This would mean I would have to take just 1 tablet myself the Aripiprazole. Which might be easier on me. She says I'm definetly non med compliant.

I'm arranging to meet a guy maybe tomorrow and another guy in Edinburgh next Tues we are going to go to The Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I'm talking to 20 guys via WhatsApp, KIK, Skype, text, phone calls, online and emails. I have tried contacting my friends to ask for their help but they have seen the message but ignored it. Feeling a bit miffed. But hey ho.

I went to the Opticians regarding my headaches. They have said it's definetly migraines so gotta see my GP

I've noticed I type very quickly and my sentences don't make sense and the spell is atrocious.

I collected my meds today and I'm unsure when to try and start them

It sounds like the Depakote injection is a good idea.

I love Edinburgh. It’s my favorite city in the world. The Fringe is brilliant. I wish I could go with you. You’ll have fun. Tremendous fun.

I was thinking injection too, as soon as I read the first post in this thread. Worth giving it a try at least. Thinking of you.

Thanks guys I'm really not liking the sound of it. Esp lecislly if it's in my bum lol. But I'm thinking about it.

My head is bursting I'm typing and it's too fast it's not making sense. I'm really excitable tonight. Need to try and calm it nearly bedtime

Saw the Counsellor today. She is so nice but might not be able to work with me if off my meds. If I remain the way I am now then she says she could work with me. Got another session next week.

My CPN called she's moved my appointment to next week instead of in 2 weeks time. Kinda worried.

I'm determined to restart the meds on Monday. Everyone says just start now but I need to psych myself up to take them or I'll resent them even more.

I'm meeting a guy on Tuesday we are going to Edinburgh he lives in the West coast and I live on the east coast so it's neutral ground.

My friends say I'm typing too quickly. I just can't slow down

Maybe meeting this older guy who's married today. He'll let me know by lunchtime. He's from England but up on holiday here. It's just for a few hours but still eeeek!

Away to meet this guy from England who is up here on holiday. Meeting him off the train and will be with him for a few hours. We are going to go for alcohol I'm dying for drinks lol

I'm buzzing!!

Met the guy for a few hours. It was AMAZING the best day EVER!!! We Kissed, held hands and fooked about. If I could of I would of took him to my flat but it's too far away. I even bought condoms lol. TODAY IS AMAZING!!

Please be careful miss Laura. You sound as though you are full blown manic and though it is certainly fun, the crash will be devastating, not to mention the destruction in your life you could do. I’m hoping you decide to take your meds as prescribed. I know it won’t be as fun to not be manic but it will be safer. Thinking of you

Hey.... everyone is concerned and I don't know why. I'm having the time of my life. Im still able to act normal in front of people ie my parents. I'm able to be sensible with things.

Got to admit though talking too all these guys is really hard now as I don't know who is who and I am struggling to suss out which ones I like and ones I don't like

I'm off to see the guy from the other day before he goes back to England tomorrow. We are going for a drive as it's raining here today. I'm just so excited lol.

Omg saw the guy again... it was great we drove to the countryside and pulled into a deserted car park. For about about 2 hours we fooled about in the car. I've never done that before lol. It was so good. I'm never going to see him again lol. I'm so hapoyvand excited

Think my friends (2) are massively annoyed with me. They haven't spoken to me in 3 days. Maybe I'm too intense for people these days. I want to talk so badly but no one is wanting to listen

Awwww, you know I'm worried for you. But you know the drill, so I'll spare you. I worry most about the guys. Please be careful.

I'm planning on starting the meds tomorrow... if I can. I screw up everything. An associate not friend associate says I need to get over it and accept the diagnosis. This is coming from someone who too has bipolar wtf! She actually said it's not like it's forever. WTF! What planet are you on. It is for life???? She wants to go to the bipolar support group I go to monthly. I said no I can't go if she goes it would be too hard for me as I talk like I do on here openly and she knows very little. So looks like my monthly support is gone. There is only 1 group in my area and I can't travel. I'm frustrated. I just want people to talk to. I am sick of pervy guys. I want to talk to my friends but I think I have burnt my bridges with them. They are online but not even looking at my messages. Feel like such a screw up.