Sorry I haven't been around.

I’ve been having a pity party.

I’m seeing how much my CP is affecting my life. How much I need help to do basic things (ie. getting dressed, showering, pouring things.) Looking at me I just look like I have a limp and just use of my left hand. Almost no one realise walking hurts. I’m starting to feel more stiff.

I feel like a horrible parent. Miguel is still having tons of issues. Of course he’s not on meds. It breaks my heart that there’s nothing I can do until it’s almost to late. However we did get his old psych notes in the mail today. It kinda validated what has been going on. It’s heartbreaking at the same time. Reading the words “servere” next to both his diagnosis is like a kick in the stomach. We needed the psych notes for a scholarship, to get SAT/ACT accommodations, and he starts getting re diagnosed in December. My husband is reading the whole thing (it’s only pdoc notes.) I just can’t the little that I read made me sick. I know I should just suck it up and read them especially now because there maybe something in there that helps us now that we forgot about. Reading that he had the same problems eight+ years ago as he does now kinda feel defeating. Knowing that it was severe back then what would it be considered now? It says he would be recommended to a partial hospitalization school program if not homeschooled. We still have to order his psych notes from his other two clinics. I always feel his issues are because of us. I know others feel this way too. “It’s because of x (bad parenting issue) he’s like that”.

Our finances are screwed. We are about 100k in debt for student loans neither of us even has an AA/AS degree. I know I can get mine discharged but that’s admitting I’ll never go to school or get a “real” job. I want to one day be a college advisor at our local college. I can’t do that without a BA/BS.

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time too. Our financial situation is the pits too, so I definitely understand your anxiety about that. The pediatrician is pretty sure my daughter has sensory processing disorder (the worst sense affected is hearing; she has always hated noise, even when she was a baby, and I would wear her in a sling while vacuuming. I want to get her diagnosed & into occupational therapy. My husband doesn't want her "labeled". But it is hard to go through everyday life with a kid who can't stand the hand blow dryers in the bathroom and more & more public restroooms are switching away from paper towels, and even worse, going to those extra loud quick hand dryers, which make even more noise. Right now, we can't afford it anyway, so it's a bit of a moot point.

You can go back to school and even get loans again if things improve to a point that you are up to it after a loan discharge. It would mean starting re-payment on the old loans again but it does not exclude you entirely, or it didn't when I discharged mine.

It sounds like you are being really hard on yourself.

It's great to have you posting again! You were missed!

I also feel you are being hard on yourself.

WC

You can go back to school and even get loans again if things improve to a point that you are up to it after a loan discharge. It would mean starting re-payment on the old loans again but it does not exclude you entirely, or it didn't when I discharged mine. I didn't know that.

cln1812- I hope that you can get help for your daughter soon.

We finally found the 1 paper that we needed to submit his scholarship. It has his gaf score as 50. I need to find a pdoc / T team that he trusts. I'm thinking of taking him to the next city over because they have a learning hospital.

I felt bad when my daughter was finally diagnosed with nonverbal learning disorder, but I realize that I was dealing with abuse from my ex and my own mistreated/untreated disorders. I helped my daughter the best I could at that time. She is doing better now, so I am grateful for that.

Just saying that it's not your fault. You're having to deal with your illnesses and supporting your family with their illnesses. It takes a lot out of you.