[emgreen]

No translation here. I'm just stuck.

[Wild Coyote]

Stressed out. We have lots to attend to. I am trying so hard. So is hubby. We are both going through varying degrees of depression. I am so tired of med changes, med side-effects, insomnia, depression, struggling. I am letting H down; yet, cannot help it.

Love to All!

WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Stressed out. We have lots to attend to. I am trying so hard. So is hubby. We are both going through varying degrees of depression. I am so tired of med changes, med side-effects, insomnia, depression, struggling. I am letting H down; yet, cannot help it.

Love to All!

WC

Hope you feel better soon, WC! Keep at your psychiatrist to work on getting those meds right. I know it can be frustrating. I would hope your H understands. Maybe talk to him. You might be mistaken about what is going on in his mind.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hope you feel better soon, WC! Keep at your psychiatrist to work on getting those meds right. I know it can be frustrating. I would hope your H understands. Maybe talk to him. You might be mistaken about what is going on in his mind.

Thank you.

I have talked with my H at length. We do talk a lot with one another. We have a lot of extra stress right now. H also carries a BPII diagnosis and he usually has a depressive episode in the Fall. He says he needs my help with a lot. I have not been able to help much due to my own status.

We are very lucky that we can talk with one another. He is usually very understanding. He is understanding now; yet, there are some very real severe stressors right now, too.

He tends to be very stable on his meds. I do not yet have that degree of stability. I am hoping to reach it; it's just not soon enough. I have been struggling for well over a year or two, trying to find relief from severe depression and mixed episodes. I saw him having anxiety attacks today and he has been very clear about his going into a depressive episode at this time.

Thanks again! You have offered sound advice.

WC

[Blueberrybook]

Daughter started her period for the first time. Tears and moodiness abound

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Daughter started her period for the first time. Tears and moodiness abound

Congratulations?

[giddykitty]

Hi!
Today is our last day with visitors. I'm really emotional. Part of me will miss them but part of me wants my space and privacy back. I'm clinging onto my hubby because he will be my constant.

Moodwise, I'm just hanging in. I think my pdoc allowed me to increase my AD if I feel I need it. I don't know if I do or if I'm just blah from my physical chronic illness. I haven't been able to get to therapy in a long while. Some days I feel like I really wish I could go, but other days I feel it's wasteful...that I'll just always be like this. Plus it's hard setti g up appointments. Sigh!

I'm still taking Abilify, but my mood never seemed to go up. I mean I had some cranky days (dysphoria), but that could just be plain pms... It is better controlled though, it seems, so I guess it helps with something. Still unsure about the bipolar diagnosis though. I'm sick of feeling just ok or low most of the time.

I'm frustrated with life. I took PTO today because of the pain and discomfort from constipation, a pain which Ive never had before in my entire life. I'm actually still getting spasms, so maybe it's not the constipation causing pain. (I used to get spasms when I was younger, but not this bad.)

I ultimately made a BM on my own.

I hate that I have to wait so long for a GI appt. Seriously, the end of November! I think I have a narrowed colon in one area because stuff always gets "stuck" in a very specific area of my intestines... every time. I also think I have a pee problem where I pee within 5-15 mins of drinking water. Combine those two things with meds that constipate you and you've won the shitting jackpot.

[otroo]

Good day today I ordered the wife new tired to be put on this weekend and I also ordered her a new brake set front and rear that I am swapping out before we head to Vegas for a Ozzy concert.

[Moose72]

N3's math teacher called today. After last year I thought it was going to be another "....if he would only apply himself... He's a genius!" conversations. But all she did was praise him all up and down and sideways! Said she tested him at a university and he scored 7 - out of 7! He s going to be dual enrolled- college and his senior year of high school. Its free! So yeah- finally some good news!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thanks for all the support about my cat. He seems more comfortable today and is no longer splashing water all over the house. He doesn't feel good but I think he is more comfortable and is even able to swallow more of his saliva so the swelling must be less too. He's come and cuddled with me a few times for the first time in several days which i also good. And with the exception of one dose of pain med he has taken his meds without incident and even that he seemed to get enough to have pain relief.

One thing I didn't even notice until today was that his sister (I got them as siblings at 8 weeks and the only times they've ever been apart are his recent vet visits) has been staying with him all the time. I just realized when she came to cuddle that it was the first time she'd done that in a couple days. So she's keeping a close eye on him and thought she could leave him for a few minutes which is also good.

My niece was here today which is always fun. She started pre-K 3 weeks ago and has already grown up so much. Not so much that she didn't give me great big hugs though. I love my nieces so much.

My family doctor sent an email out that he's only going to be working 1/2 weeks for the next year. I was afraid of this because of a weird re-schedule a couple months ago that moved my annual visit 6 weeks away without explanation. He's really great about working with me through the patient portal thing and I'll miss that since I bet his partners won't so easily. But it's just a year and hopefully he's doing something that makes him happy.

I'm tired. I am having trouble sleeping with my sick cat (worrying) and I got up at 5 to give him pain meds and then back to sleep until 8 for steroids. I have to repeat that again. Whatever he needs but it's not easy.

Oh well, things are improving. I'll take being tired. It could be a lot worse.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Thanks for all the support about my cat. He seems more comfortable today and is no longer splashing water all over the house. He doesn't feel good but I think he is more comfortable and is even able to swallow more of his saliva so the swelling must be less too. He's come and cuddled with me a few times for the first time in several days which i also good. And with the exception of one dose of pain med he has taken his meds without incident and even that he seemed to get enough to have pain relief.

One thing I didn't even notice until today was that his sister (I got them as siblings at 8 weeks and the only times they've ever been apart are his recent vet visits) has been staying with him all the time. I just realized when she came to cuddle that it was the first time she'd done that in a couple days. So she's keeping a close eye on him and thought she could leave him for a few minutes which is also good.

My niece was here today which is always fun. She started pre-K 3 weeks ago and has already grown up so much. Not so much that she didn't give me great big hugs though. I love my nieces so much.

My family doctor sent an email out that he's only going to be working 1/2 weeks for the next year. I was afraid of this because of a weird re-schedule a couple months ago that moved my annual visit 6 weeks away without explanation. He's really great about working with me through the patient portal thing and I'll miss that since I bet his partners won't so easily. But it's just a year and hopefully he's doing something that makes him happy.

I'm tired. I am having trouble sleeping with my sick cat (worrying) and I got up at 5 to give him pain meds and then back to sleep until 8 for steroids. I have to repeat that again. Whatever he needs but it's not easy.

Oh well, things are improving. I'll take being tired. It could be a lot worse.

Great news! things are headed in the right direction.
I am sorry it's tiring. I hope you can get more high quality sleep tonight.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

N3's math teacher called today. After last year I thought it was going to be another "....if he would only apply himself... He's a genius!" conversations. But all she did was praise him all up and down and sideways! Said she tested him at a university and he scored 7 - out of 7! He s going to be dual enrolled- college and his senior year of high school. Its free! So yeah- finally some good news!

Awesome!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by otroo

Good day today I ordered the wife new tired to be put on this weekend and I also ordered her a new brake set front and rear that I am swapping out before we head to Vegas for a Ozzy concert.

Vegas and the Ozzy concert sound like fun!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm frustrated with life. I took PTO today because of the pain and discomfort from constipation, a pain which Ive never had before in my entire life. I'm actually still getting spasms, so maybe it's not the constipation causing pain. (I used to get spasms when I was younger, but not this bad.)

I ultimately made a BM on my own.

I hate that I have to wait so long for a GI appt. Seriously, the end of November! I think I have a narrowed colon in one area because stuff always gets "stuck" in a very specific area of my intestines... every time. I also think I have a pee problem where I pee within 5-15 mins of drinking water. Combine those two things with meds that constipate you and you've won the shitting jackpot.

Did you put yourself on a cancellation list should an appointment come up before the end of November?
You can always go to the ER. I have had a GI CT scan via the ER when indicated. Of course, I am not sure what you have for ER coverage.
The BM is a sign of things heading in the right direction.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I have been feeling low for the past several days and haven't felt like writing.

Went to Niagara Falls on Sunday... it's a 2 hour drive for us. Took the relative that's in a wheelchair along just to get her out of the home she's in for the day.

It was a nice day but we only ended up at the falls for about a half hour before we turned around and left. I took a longer more scenic route on the way back.

I'm waiting for some result with the modafinil, but I have a feeling this drug isn't going to work out. Maybe I'm just impatient... it's just been 9 days.

How thoughtful of you to take along your relative.
I hope the modafinil will work for you.


WC

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Thanks for all the support about my cat. He seems more comfortable today and is no longer splashing water all over the house. He doesn't feel good but I think he is more comfortable and is even able to swallow more of his saliva so the swelling must be less too. He's come and cuddled with me a few times for the first time in several days which i also good. And with the exception of one dose of pain med he has taken his meds without incident and even that he seemed to get enough to have pain relief.

One thing I didn't even notice until today was that his sister (I got them as siblings at 8 weeks and the only times they've ever been apart are his recent vet visits) has been staying with him all the time. I just realized when she came to cuddle that it was the first time she'd done that in a couple days. So she's keeping a close eye on him and thought she could leave him for a few minutes which is also good.

My niece was here today which is always fun. She started pre-K 3 weeks ago and has already grown up so much. Not so much that she didn't give me great big hugs though. I love my nieces so much.

My family doctor sent an email out that he's only going to be working 1/2 weeks for the next year. I was afraid of this because of a weird re-schedule a couple months ago that moved my annual visit 6 weeks away without explanation. He's really great about working with me through the patient portal thing and I'll miss that since I bet his partners won't so easily. But it's just a year and hopefully he's doing something that makes him happy.

I'm tired. I am having trouble sleeping with my sick cat (worrying) and I got up at 5 to give him pain meds and then back to sleep until 8 for steroids. I have to repeat that again. Whatever he needs but it's not easy.

Oh well, things are improving. I'll take being tired. It could be a lot worse.

I'm glad to here that the kitty and his sister are doing a little better today. I have twin brother cats that snuggle each other constantly, so it's cute to hear that other sibling kitty's do the same.

I hope you are doing well with the kitty thing and hope you get good sleep tonight.

[TheSeaCat]

I had another good day today, starting to get worried not used to having good productive days. I got the second rejection from unemployment which I was expecting, it never goes my way.

I went into town to drop of the test that has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever done and now have to hurry up and wait for the results. On one hand I kind of want what the fdoc thinks it is, but at the same time it would mean a lot of different things that I don't know that I would be prepared for.

I also called the insurance company and my new plan will start sometime in November. I keep expecting a panic attack to happen or something because it's so rare that I have two decent days in a row.

I also hope everyone is doing well tonight

the less said about yesterday daytime the better

was very stressfull and I did a lot of shouting at people- and even stormed out of somewhere after someone was very rude to me

the end of the day was nice, settled down on my chair and reread the secret garden (I love that book, such a classic)

it was a sleepless night of course, but that didn't matter. it was soothing to read the secret garden (I wish I had more focus for reading), because you forget just how soothing it is

back to the drawing board I guess today

internet, music, rain, low mood..

I didn't sleep well last night. No particular reason either. It's just really weird because usually my meds make me sleep about 12 hours straight. I have ECT in five hours, but it's a two hour drive so we're leaving in three hours. Also my grandma is in the hospital after having a heart attack yesterday. I've decided to apply to disability as well.
I just want to go back to sleep

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Did you put yourself on a cancellation list should an appointment come up before the end of November?
You can always go to the ER. I have had a GI CT scan via the ER when indicated. Of course, I am not sure what you have for ER coverage.
The BM is a sign of things heading in the right direction.

WC

Yep, the receptionist lady put me on the cancellation list. I mentioned the colon possibly being narrowed (and explained why) and I think she realized that it wasn't a good sign, so she was the one who actually said she'd put me at the top of the cancellation list. I thought that was nice of her. I didn't even have to ask.

If things get bad again, I'll go to the ER to be seen faster. I don't know what my insurance coverage for the ER would be, but I could always ask in advance since my situation wouldn't be an emergency at all. Good idea on your part. It just sucks that I might have to resort to the ER just to be seen. In some ways, I wish the GI doctor had spots reserved for "urgent" patients who need to be seen urgently, but then people would just lie about their situation in order to snag the "urgent" appointment slots anyway, so it'd be pointless.

I could go to a different GI doctor, but the one I went to before was AWFUL. At the time, I had IBS-D, so I was getting chronic diarrhea, basically. And firstly, I asked to see an MD, but they put me with a nurse. Secondly, the nurse lady told me to take an antispasmodic and miralax together. Why the f*** would I do that? The antispasmodic was fine on its own, but miralax???? I still had diarrhea even with the antispasmodic. I think she probably thought I'd get constipated on the antispasmodic, but miralax is not the answer to that!

Btw, i took miralax last night and will take it everyday until the GI appt. It ALWAYS gives me diarrhea, but it's better than having "stuff" stuck in a possibly narrowed colon. I also don't know if Miralax is even going to work with the pee issue that started up very recently.

[Blueberrybook]

So-so sleep. I feel like a bad mom because I missed getting my daughter up in time for choir practice I totally forgot. I heard my cellphone bling a reminder, but I thought it was something like a weather advisory, which I get often notified about, so I didn't even check it. And yep, it was a reminder about choir practice, needing to wake my daughter early. Sigh.

spikes, what a bit of stressful couple of days for you! I hope your grandmother recovers quickly and you get some sleep soon. I hope the ECT went well. Are you seeing any improvements in your moods yet because of it?

bluebicycle, I'm glad that you at least are on the cancellation list. Hopefully someone will cancel soon so you get in soon.

Blueberrybook, I am often forgetting things. I get so distracted by things and have also had some difficulties getting up lately.

I've been wanting to have sleeping marathons lately. I fell asleep last night at 9:15 pm extremely sleepy, and had a hard time getting going at 7 am this morning. I mentioned this to my psychiatrist, but he doesn't yet want to lower my Seroquel XR. He did say he wants to soon, though.

Yesterday and so far this morning my mood is sort of not great. I'm not depressed, but just not great. My sister wrote something to me that sort of made me a little sad, then hubby reminded me of our strained financial situation. So often I just try to put these stressors out of my mind, but I know they must be faced and dealt with eventually.

[Moose72]

Just saw pdoc. We talked about a lot. But the upshot is she says Im hallucinating and paranoid outside a manic episode so she's decided I'm actually sza! Ive often thought this but she was so firmly determined that I was bp w\ psychosis I just dropped the subject. I know labels don't really matter but I feel like a puzzle piece that just fits better with sza than bipolar- even though they are close cousins.plus I'm going off Seroquel starting Monday.

[Wild Coyote]

Having a rough week. Very upset with myself and my limitations. In the midst of medication adjustments. Trying to be patient.


WC