Just need to vent

I would normally do this in the check in thread but it’s been closed and I’ve had a super stressful day.

I kept my son home from camp because he’s had a mysterious skin condition for a few weeks now. Open sores that turn to dry red rashes instead of healing. So we went to the dr and he has impetigo and ringworm. Ok. I will get his cream and antibiotics and hopefully it will clear up soon. We had to wait over an hour to see the dr and I get very impatient with waiting so that was no good.

But I’ve just had such a long tough day with my son. He was acting like a little a-hole all day long. Ever since my boyfriend opened my eyes to his disrespect and disobedience I have been stricter with him. I was super strict today and it was so stressful. He was just pushing back at me at every turn. I wanted to give up and just let him do whatever he wanted but I’ve done that for far too long. I don’t want him to grow up with no respect for authority. It’s so hard with him though. He will likely be dx’ed with ADHD in the future (right now he doesn’t have any problems in school so it’s not on the table) but even if he’s not he is so high energy that he just drains me dry.

I feel like such a failure of a parent. How did I let it get like this? To the point where he never ever listens on the first try, I have to repeat myself four or five times and end up yelling at him before he listens? How did I let him talk back to me? I just feel like I messed up somewhere. I guess honestly it’s normal kid development to start pushing boundaries as they age but it’s so discouraging.

I know this is stupid but I’m afraid that if I don’t get a handle on him my boyfriend will break up with me because of our different parenting styles. And honestly if he does then good riddance, right? I shouldn’t let someone else tell me how to raise my child. But I also don’t want my son to be a disrespectful little **** when he gets older. And I love my boyfriend. But I won’t choose him over my son.

It was just a hard day in the parenting world. Another day where I’m cursing my husband for leaving me alone to deal with all this. That a-hole.

This is not helped by the fact that I have been completely unmotivated to do anything at all except lie on the couch for days now. Low level depression? Perhaps. I’m worried that I won’t actually get the job I’ve ostensibly been hired for. I’ve been put on restrictions by my spine dr. The PA assured me that wouldn’t affect my ability to work but I’m not so sure.

I need money. My insurance refused to cover my ambulance transport to the psych hospital back in April, citing it as a “non emergency” ride. So that was $500. Now I’ve gotten a bill for all the physical therapy for my back to the tune of $624. I can’t pay it up front. I’ll have to negotiate a payment plan and I suck at payment plans.

Sigh...thanks for listening to me. Just a tough day today. It will get better.

Kids are little a-holes indeed.

Have you not seen it ? I was oblivious many times when my daughter was young, someone pointed out and I was pretty shocked. But it’s fixable , will take time and energy ( not always easy) kids his age can learn boundaries and respect. Don’t give up

Sorry about your pain, bills and overall stress. Life just really sucks at times and right now you have some shyt stuff... you also have found someone you can love, that’s a big thing.

Hope your lil guy gets to feeling better and you can start adding rules. Start slow and build them piece by piece.

Thanks Christina. I actually haven’t noticed it. I didn’t know about it until my boyfriend pointed it out. Then I asked my SIL and she confirmed that sometimes he talks back too much. I’m glad I’m aware of it now. I will definitely keep going with the rules and it will get better, I know that. I’m dreading next week though. I will have him all week because his camp ends this week and school doesn’t start till the week after. I’m going to have to plan outings for us. I have some ideas in mind so hopefully I’ll be motivated enough to follow through.

Don’t beat yourself up.. you got this !

Kids can be little jerks, and parenting is so hard. Don't beat yourself up. At least you're fixing the situation with your son now. Hugs.

Oh, have you thought about putting your son in karate? It really teaches respect and discipline. Since our daughter started it we've seen a noticeable difference in her behaviour. Good luck!

I'm so sorry. I know how stressful financial problems are. My ambulance service billed me an extra $300 to be transported less than 15 minutes farther to go to a reputable hospital rather than the one nearest my home with a super-bad reputation. It was probably even faster to drive to because going there involves less traffic most of the way and fewer traffic lights, but go figure.

I'm sorry about your parenting difficulties with your son. How old is he? My daughter is 10, and parenting difficulties doesn't even begin to sum it up although our issues are on the sensory end, not liking to sleep and/or insomnia, combined with being extremely smart and knowing just the right buttons to push to make me angry.

My son is 7 and he’s usually not a brat but when he gets overstimulated he can be. He was bored in the dr’s office (hell so was I) and I think that’s what tipped it off this time. He got agitated from sitting there for over an hour. It didn’t help that we hadn’t eaten and that I was getting annoyed as well. Our day went downhill from there. Eventually he ended up in his room because I was being “too mean”. I was actually thankful for that because I got a break. He’s back to his happy self now so it’s all good but I can’t wait for him to fall asleep so I can truly have some alone time.

Raspberry I have considered karate but every time I bring it up he shoots me down.maybe I will force him to go to a trial class just so he can see what it’s all about and then decide if he wants to do it or not.

If you can swing it karate is wonderful. It helped my son so much.

My daughter does not have ADD or ADHD to my knowledge (sensory processing disorder the pediatrician thinks, making parenting a challenge). Even she would get bored and agitated having to wait in a doctor's office that long. One time we had to wait over an hour for a dental appointment because the dentist was running behind because of having to deal with dental emergencies. Even that made her hyper. Her problem is that she doesn't want to go to sleep at night (loves staying up late). My husband indulges her, and doesn't enforce her bedtime. I have to go to bed early because of usually waking 3-4 AM. Hubby has to get up at 5 AM for work (high school starts early), and if I'm still asleep, the alarm wakes me. Anyway, on my night combo, give me 30 - 45 minutes, and I'm out usually a good 5-6 hr. She did have insomnia some over the summer, but it's getting better. My husband thinks she could fall asleep earlier, but she just likes to stay up late, and he doesn't enforce it (I usually go to sleep before my daughter & husband). And he REALLY didn't enforce it over the summer, letting her sometimes stay awake until 1:30 AM some nights. Then, she wouldn't get up at a decent time in the morning (i wanted 7 to 9 AM), but hubby wanted to let her sleep, and sometimes she'd sleep until noon.

Now, school has started again, and she really doesn't want to get up. Hubby says she will be in her room by 10:30, 11 PM, but he isn't sure if she's asleep or not. She has to get up at 7 AM for school, earlier if she's going to catch the school bus if I substitute teach to earn some extra money.

It's hard to be on the hard page when our parenting styles are so different. I have to be the enforcer, and my husband is the fun one.

That does sound like a stressful day wildflower.
my dad use to say to us...my house my rules.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

(((((( wildflower ))))))

Parenting is a tough job.
Sending good vibes your way.


WC

Thank you. My mom ran a tight ship. She did not play! I never got out of line with my mom I knew better. My sister did too. My mom let my baby brother get away with lip and be lazy. Now he does not take care of his three kids. He got pissed at work one day and quit his job. I treated my three the same (24,21 and 12). Anyone talk back you get your butt busted. I pay all the bills in the house and you will respect me period! When you turn 18 AND move out then you can do what you want. When my older two were growing up if they broke a house rule or got in trouble at school. I would have them write sentences or a book report.