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#1
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I have heard of this from quite a few people with bipolar disorder.
I’ll ask in any case. Have you ever purposely gone off of your medications for reasons other than side effects? I have learned my lesson. I guess I just had to experience this in order to learn my lesson. My personal experience with doing this was because of the feeling. I’m not talking about the high-high feeling. Just that feeling that I’m a little less subdued and my thoughts and even sense of humor is sharper. This was however a path to something problematic. I believe in the helpfulness of meds because of how irrational and erratic my behavior could get. That’s not even talking about when the mood drops into the abyss, thus leaving you with that issue. I am sometimes tempted to push the boundaries, but once it crosses a line, I am too far gone to get better without other support.
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Tic-Tac |
![]() avlady, Wild Coyote
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#2
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Yes. I stopped taking half my meds last year solely because I resent taking meds. I wound up with a police escort to the psychward. I've only missed one dose accidentally since. I'd rather take my meds than eat hospital food and not shower because the doors dont lock/there are no shower curtains.
I have a sense of humor about it, but truly I have an appreciation now for taking pills as prescribed for my own well being. |
![]() avlady, TicTacGo, Wild Coyote
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#3
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Before my accurate bipolar dx, I'd occasionally be prescribed antidepressants and almost always stop them after three days to a couple of weeks when my mood switched. I never thought of my moods being any disorder, but sort of like a brain "flu" or situational hardship. When "fixed" that was it.
I rejected my official bipolar diagnosis at first and refused medications. That's what can happen when a doctor diagnoses you while in a hypomanic episode. I didn't think anything was wrong with me. However, one year later the you know what really hit the fan and I was hospitalized and received Lithium and Seroquel. It wasn't more than maybe nine months later when I decided I was fine and didn't need the stinky meds. It had less to do with side effects than a belief that I could take control of my moods by (self will?). That's how it had been most of my life. Well, maybe only five days later I was hospitalized again. Perhaps my decision to go off meds was sparked by a developing mania itself. Maybe less than a year later the same thing happened. Alcohol was likely involved, too. I think one of these times in the hospital was when I spent my birthday there. After that, I never again fully quit meds cold turkey, but did F around with them a bit. That had consequences, too. I've been a model patient for some years now. I haven't been in the hospital for almost 9 years, since my 10th hospitalization. Over the years, I have been very tolerant of medication side effects. More so than many people I've read about. I even didn't make much of a stink when I had an extremely scary thing happen during my first ECT treatment. Of course even I had my limits, but my solution was not quitting meds, but finally forcing med changes. I definitely gave most medications a very fair chance. In some cases, I was very happy I waited them out. Many people wouldn't have, I think. Some I waited too long. I can't completely undo my mild kidney damage from Lithium. My hypothyroidism is here to stay, but they are manageble. Last edited by Anonymous46341; Aug 30, 2018 at 07:39 PM. |
![]() Wild Coyote
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#4
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Yup. Never had even considered it before (and I've been on meds for around 30 years), but this summer in early July I decided that I was going to stop taking meds. I had had enough with being on meds - everything about being on meds. I was feeling pretty good, so I told my pdoc and my therapist that I wanted to "go down" on my dosages (my real plan was to soon stop meds).
They both asked me to promise not to go off meds (apparently they suspected I wanted to); pdoc lowered some dosages and told me I could go ahead and work toward going off a med (Seroquel). Then we went, very suddenly, from an extremely hot summer to a mild, almost fall-like weather. I love the cooler weather and the golden light. And within a day of the weather/light change depression, anxiety, and obsessing started. Oh - and anger. Anger at everything. I drop something and I'm furious. Someone blows their horn outside my window and I would have kill the person if only I could get my hands on them. So, ha. Joke on me. I stopped the idea of going off the med I use for sleep (Seroquel) - at least for now - and I've increased my Lamictal. I have an appointment with my pdoc on Tuesday; if I could see her right now, I would. I feel like I'm getting dangerously close to barely hanging on. I wish I could add a massive dose of Haldol to my meds. I'm that desperate. |
![]() avlady, TicTacGo, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#5
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I used to be a chronic med ditcher. I was either chasing the high of mania or I felt fine and figured I didn’t need them. I too learned my lesson after a particularly scary psychotic episode that manifested all on its own. Previously my last psychotic episode was due to being on an AD without an AP, or so I assumed. Ever since then (four years ago) I have been completely med compliant; however it has taken me a long time to find a good combo without unbearable side effects. I stayed on invega for three years despite a raised prolactin level, gaining 75lbs, and having my blood sugar shoot up. I finally had to go off of it because of prediabetes and it has taken me a year to find another combo that works as well. I hope I have found that with my current combo. I’ve been stable since May but I also haven’t worked since May. I am worried work will destabilize me. However I will not now, not ever go off my meds again.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() *Laurie*, Anonymous46341, avlady, TicTacGo, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#6
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A few times. The reason has always been that I become convinced that I’m fine and the bipolar stuff was all just a big misunderstanding. Each time I rolled right into a manic episode — probably from stopping cold turkey.
I still do think I’d be okay parts of the year without meds if I tapered off properly. But it’s just not worth the risk at this point. |
![]() avlady, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#7
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First time in fifteen years, I thought of going off meds. I took myself off the antianxiety meds and a med used to help me sleep. My doctor did not prescribe on of my ADs this time. Instead, he upped my MS. So I am down to taking Lamotragine, Depakote, and Buprorion. Three meds. Not too bad at all. However, I have decided NOT to go off my meds. I want to be functional all the time.
As far as one learning ones lesson for the first time, I see following others here, there are usually several more times before the decision to stay on meds remains. So good luck. I find that this is all about being BP. They should list this as a symptom of BP. We are here to help.
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Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
![]() avlady, TicTacGo, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#8
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to add me to the list of people who learned their lessons about going off meds-to staying on them i agree completely i need them to be stable.
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![]() TicTacGo
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#9
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I'm what the UK system call it a persistent non complier. I stay on for a few weeks then are off them for months. Currently nearing the end of week 2 of taking them. Been off them really for 6 months
I come off them cause I don't believe I have Bipolar, I don't believe I'm unwell, I don't believe they are doing me any good etc etc I haven't told anyone that I'm on them for nearly 3 weeks bar this post so you guys are the first. I don't want to jinx it. |
![]() Anonymous45023, TicTacGo
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#10
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I think it should be a symptom too. I've just gone off my AP and I got angry at everything. I began to hate the dog. I went off on people on the phone. I sent a crazy, angry text to my brother and sister. My sister called and asked me if I was ok to take my mother to her surgery that day. I kept thinking I wanted to die.
I did not want to believe it was being off my meds. But my husband was suffering and kept asking me to take the med. So I did and everything went to normal again. I love my dog, I can work again, I don't have icky thoughts, I'm better. Who was that person I became off meds? Is that the real me or is my brain so used to meds it can not function without them. Either way, I'm happy I stayed out of the hospital. |
#11
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Thanks for all the replies thus far.
It seems there is a common theme of leaving medications because of feeling better, not wishing to take meds in the first place... or the fact that it feels good to be on a little bit of a high. In my case, my Lamictal is being tapered up, so the Zyprexa is simply keeping the mood stable. Yes, it serves its purpose, though the subdued feeling is what put me off. I’d stop it for a couple of days and go back on when I sense that it is on the border of trouble. That is, when I actually get it right to predict that turning point. Despite how I feel about medications, it is for the best that I keep taking them. For now, at least.
__________________
Tic-Tac |
![]() *Laurie*
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![]() *Laurie*
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#12
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I'm too early in dx. So, no, not yet. But, I'm scared I will because I REALLY miss a lot about hypomania. But, I f****** my life up and hurt my kids badly before going on meds. So, I really don't want to and hope I never will.
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"I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy" - Og Mandino |
#13
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I'd love to not take my effexor anymore I'm on a hundred and 12.5. And I have the shakes tremors and I'm still depressed and yes it's helped a little bit with anxiety
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#14
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I write messages on here but I wonder if I'll ever see if somebody else sends me a reply it's so weird I don't know how to check my replies anyway are you still on your antidepressant I think it was Paxil.. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad I used to get Haldol in the hospital when things would really get out of whack. How is the Lamictal hoping you I was on Lamictal and then they changed me over to lithium
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#15
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I go off my celexa and lithium all the time. Then my wife gets wind of it and slaps some sense into me. They make me flat, I slur my words like a modern day Foster Brooks, and I lose my edge which I need in my job to be successful. On the other hand, I need to learn to understand and accept the side effects (which truthfully are minimal for me) and make adjustments. I can't rely on my medication to control the day - I need to provide supplements like better sleep habits, better eating habits, exercise, and mindfulness. For me, the trick is remembering that I'm BP.......but I don't want to "remember". I just want to carry on with my life. I'll get there, it will just take a bit more time.
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