Bipolar Questions Version 4

Burning itchy feet. Had to stand in freezing water for relief.

Q. Do you believe in extra terrestrial life? Seen any?

I've definitely never seen extra terrestrial life, but as for believing in it? Perhaps, depending on the definition of extraterrestrial life. The universe and beyond is such an endless thing. I know there is life beyond earth, at least according to scientific exploration, but the complete nature of life (living cells vs. something more animal-like) doesn't seem to be confirmed...yet. But why couldn't there be a place far far away that supports an animal-like population? Maybe even human-like? Their exact appearance would likely always remain a mystery to us. I doubt there are ET type creatures roaming space in UFOs. At least how they are portrayed in Sci Fi movies.

When you're hypomanic or manic, or depressed, does religion factor into your situation more strongly, the same, or less?

Manic: IDK that it is religious, but I frequently feel like the world (not God, per se, but some sentient force that is like a God) is communicating with me. I experience a lot of synchronous moments (things that are not causally related, but they are significant because of their temporal relation). Depression: I became very nihilistic.

What animal best represents “mania” to you?

A hamster on a wheel.

Do you ever try to interpret your dreams?

I recall very few dreams. Those I do recall are quite clear in their meaning.

Do you live with additional medical challenges?

Yes. Emphysema. Self inflicted.

What feral animal you fear the most.

Luckily not, and I hope it stays that way for a long time. I do have high cholesterol, but that doesn't make me feel any different. My meds can be sedating at times, and poor self care does give me gastrointestinal distress sometimes. I also have sinusitis flare ups sometimes. I know these things are basically nothings in the grand scheme of things. My sister has several medical issues beyond bipolar disorder. I feel for her. She's very strong, though.

Name one or more things that gave you some pleasure yesterday. What can you do today for some pleasure?

apparently feral means animals that are descended from domesticated animals - like dogs and cats etc. i don't generally fear non-wild animals like that, but a rabid dog i would be scared of.

Name one or more things that gave you some pleasure yesterday. What can you do today for some pleasure?

i'm at the end of today now, and today i visited two friends and we watched random youtube videos. tomorrow... i'll probably bump into friends again or try to hang out with them again, otherwise watch something i like watching


do you have any guilty pleasures when it comes to watching tv/shows?

Lately I've been watching every episode Netflix has of the Great British Baking Show. I don't even like to bake!

Do you have something you'd love to ask your therapist/pdoc but it is personal and none of your business so you don't (ie I'd love to know why my pdoc wears her rings upside down)?

isn't Emphysema something to do with the lungs?

and the only reason I know that (or think I know that) is because I used to listen to this parody group from london who made fun of medical conditions- and I'm pretty sure that they did a song about smoking- and Emphysema was mentioned in that

I'd love to ask them what personal experience (if any) they have with mental health- like if they were ever diagnosed with something or know people in their family who are.

but I'd never ask that

do you have a favorite outfit/ peace of clothing

I do. A few pieces, but I haven't fit into them for at least 16 years. I have no idea if I ever will. It's not that I want to be that slim ever again, but the items are lovely or have nostalgic value. Another thing I wish fitted again is my wedding band. My fingers don't look chubby, but obviously they are compared to when I got married. Luckily my engagement ring has always fit me. I've always worn that.

Do you keep any nostalgic items from the past? If so, would you share what any of them are?

Emphysema is a terrible lung condition where the cilia in the lungs dies.
I burnt mine smoking first, cigarettes, then premium cigars, inhailing.

The pacient dies asphyxiated, because can't get the air out of the lungs.
So no air can come in. It is progressive and unstoppable. (?)

I was a "moderate to severe" case. One foot in the grave. Until I started vaping.
Now, my condition has not deteriorated in the last five years.
I have 60% lung capacity still. Thanks to vaping.
Althought I have two nodules in my left lung that can turn into cancer.
But they are not growing. Vaping is wonderful!!!.

Cheers.

so is it something that is all the time, or does it happen at various times of the day- meaning are you constantly suffering the psymptoms or are their times where you don't notice it

and if I was their would I notice it?

like do you struggle to breath etc

I have mno idea why I'm so interested in Emphysema, but I am

most of my past was very traumatic, so things tend to get thrown out pretty quickly.
I briefly held on to my first set of keys (when I moved in to my first place), to hold on to my first moment of freedom a little longer, and some cds of.... let's just say, a lot of value to me (but I don't really want to talk about it)

I also have a massive rock from a beach in spain- a girl I used to know braught it back for me from her holiday.

but in most cases, no. things get thrown out as soon as that chapter in my life is over.

question: is their a lot of stuff in your life that is too painfull to talk about?, or not really too much

There’s a few things from decades ago that I’ve never told a single person. Would probably be therapeutic to at least talk about it with a therapist. In the mean time when I’m down it still adds fuel to the self loathing fire even after all this time.

Q. What’s the worst job you ever had?

At 15 years old I had a summer job cleaning rooms at a Holiday Inn. Definitely not for me! It was the type of hotel with the rooms opening to the outside. That was a scorching hot summer! My skin has always been sensitive so I got a bad heat rash. That made me quit. Luckily my teen summer jobs were in an office after that

What is one of your favorite accomplishments?

I have never worked.

question:

is their 1 particular thing you are really interested in- and love to know anything on that subject?

theme parks!

do you enjoy nature?

Yes. Walking, hiking, being surrounded by the quiet of forested areas and the sounds of running streams and hot sand, beach grass and waves.

Q. If you meditate what do you visualize or chant...what’s your method of focussing?

I don't usually do it of my own acord, because, well, I just don't...

when laura does it with me she likes to try and get me to think about a castle with guards, floating on a desert island in a magical fairyland. I know. it's real crazy- I don't have the heart to tell her it's not working for me, so pretend it does

now i'm on the verge of her recording a soundtrack to go with it

which will be interesting

when you meet someone for the first time what is the first thing you usually try to notice/ observe

I try to see if the new person and I either have some mutual interests or at least interests/experiences/stories that interest each other. I'm a pretty good talker, but am also pretty good at coming up with questions for new people I meet. I try to keep the questions ones that a new person would be happy or willing to answer (not uncomfortable). Sometimes if the person answers with a few word response, or one that cuts the stream of conversation short, it's awkward and can lead to wanting to step away. I also appreciate when the other person asks me at least a couple of questions. If they don't, it makes me think they have zero interest in me. Perhaps they're shy, or perhaps they just have no interest. That's that!

Throughout your life, have you considered yourself to be speedier or slower at getting things done? Or somewhere just about in between? I'm referring more to your baseline tendencies, not during clear mood episodes.

I’d say in the middle most of my life. Last few years I’ve been getting slower though (except for the odd burst of energy which I realize now is totally mood related).

Q. What’s worked best for improving dry mouth from Med use? (I’ve used xylitol tablets that stick on a tooth).

nothing really that stands out to me as a "best cure"

are you an only child?

No, 2nd of 4 although the oldest is 11 years older and the youngest (half) is 21 years younger.

Have or are you decorated/decorating for Christmas?