Bipolar Questions Version 4

Whatever decade Motown was in. The 60s?

Q: how long is/was your longest romantic relationship?

All my adult relationships have lasted 1 month all 3 if them. I did have a "boyfriend" from the age of 11 until 13 years though. But I'll stick to a month

Question: When did you know the time was right for you to go back into employment?

I haven't managed to get back to full time work like I thought I would after working so many years. My last major episode cost me everything. Not a pity me, but you know how you always believe and try to get back to the 'person you used to be'. This time, well, I have finally learned that I will never be the person I was, and have to accept the person I am. That's been so true for work. Now my expectations are a low lower, as is my standard of living. But, we are still alive and moving forward, and I think that is the key. Sure, I'd love to be working full time again, because it does give you a buzz and a real sense of purpose that you only work out when you stop working, but now, well who knows, maybe the future me will be the best version of me yet.


Err, what as the question, working. Answered. I think.

What is your number one goal that you still work to achieve or regain despite your bipolar?

you take me back.

when I was a kid, they used to do the whole request show on sunday evenings on delta FM (at the time our local station). I listened every week.

also radio 4's dramas, in particular the railway children, my favorite

my radio was little, a portable world radio. it could pick up any station on any wave length (providing I was in signal range of it.)

I'd say mine is either to get everyone abusive out of my life, or realise it's okay to make your own decisions and work on your own terms.

how you would describe bipolar in just one word

Demanding. I think bipolar demands so much of me and doesn't like to be told 'later'.

What makes you the most angry?

People mistreating and bullying other people.

What are some things that make you happy?

My Mom and my cat Cleo. Movies and stand up comedy. A really interesting book.

Is anyone in your family Bipolar? I'm the only one in mine ... that I know of anyways.

Yes. Besides me, my sister, youngest nephew (her son), 1st cousin (paternal), one of that cousin's children, and a more distant cousin (maternal side) all have/had official bipolar diagnoses. My paternal grandmother very likely had bipolar disorder and others are thought to have bipolar disorder, too (my father and some think my maternal grandmother, and possibly others). The latter cases have/had severe issues, some of which I won't go into. My dad was recently hospitalized twice because of "hysterical behavior", alcohol issues, and suicidal threats. No one was able to find out what he was diagnosed with, but my brother did tell his doctors about our strong family history of bipolar disorder.

Q: How many of your family members know about your bipolar disorder?

My mother had two manic episodes about 15 years ago. She was going through menopause at the time and also some very emotionally draining circumstances. She had to be hospitalized due to the psychosis each time. She has been healthy ever since and she has never experienced depression. She is not on meds. She was diagnosed as bipolar, but I wonder if they got it wrong. Likewise, I experienced psychosis during an emotionally heavy time and I've been stable on a very low dose of meds ever since. I have also never been depressed. My doctors now do not think I am bipolar. They said I experienced brief reactive psychosis and the cause could be adrenal or hormonal. I am personally very sensitive to all chemicals like my mother, so it makes sense we would both react similarly to a shift in hormones exacerbated by emotions. It is scary to know my body can betray my mind so severely and there isn't much I can do to control it. I'm very grateful though to not experience mood swings thus far.

Do you hallucinate when manic?

All of them know. They all kinda banded together and leaned on each other for support when I was in the hospital. My episode was so extreme that I don't blame them. I have since shared my story with my extended family. They all know what happened to my mother and I wanted them to understand it wasn't her fault and there was nothing I could do to control it either. Sharing my story has helped our family heal in many ways.

We both posted at the same time, so I'll add my question again.

Do you hallucinate when manic?

I've never had a hallucination. I have had some brief episodes of weird thinking and delusions lasting each a couple of days. I'm unsure if I've experienced full blown mania though. I definitely experience hypomania and mixed states.

Do you experience periods of feeling normal (baseline) and if so how long do they usually last?

I went 38 years feeling normal and then had my first episode last November. It ramped up for a while, but I didn't know what to look for and it spiraled completely out of control. I've been stable since they brought me out of it in the hospital. I'm not sure how long this will last, but I pray it is forever.

Waffles or pancakes?

Pancakes waffles have too much dough for me? And something about the texture...

Do you have a result of triggers (for me it's high stress and anxiety) like hallucinations/some sort of weird psychotic moment where you live in the situation and can't shake it (fades when you dissolve the problem)?

Maybe I'm doing this wrong? Answer some random question if I messed up

yes, I hate those feelings where you feel you're living in the moment

the last one I had was because their was some building work going on (that involved ladders, obviously)


which would you prefer. time travel or invisibility

Time travel. I can go to the future and see if there will be a cure for BP. I then would go back in history, to when I was in my twenties. Imagine what I would be able to do having what I know now and the skills to apply.

How many times you usually cycle in a week?

Certainly time travel over invisibility. I can't think of how invisibility would benefit me at all. More the opposite. But though I would love to go back in time, in some ways, I am a believer that fate is for a good reason, even if the circumstances are less than ideal. I don't want to see the future any faster than reality. I like to savor the present.

Q: What was your favorite age?

Looks like we answered at the same time. In response to your question, for the most part I don't cycle that often. I've very rarely ultra or ultra ultra rapid cycled unless I was put on a bad medication (i.e. an antidepressant for me). I do have zippier or slower days than others in a week, but I don't count them as bipolar cycling unless they are quite notable. When I do cycle more significantly, it's usually for several days or weeks at a time. I do have mixed episodes more than I like, but the simultaneous type. Not the switching up and down type. There was a two-year period when I had four or five major episodes in a year (still refered to as "rapid cycling"). That was my worst. One year I was either in the hospital or IOP more than not.

Q: What was your favorite age? And why?

Age 11 is the last time I can remember being really happy and just pretty care free. As an adult 24 was a pretty good year. I liked my job and has a couple of friends. I was pretty satisfied before the BP stuff happened at 25.

Do you have a medication that you really like and can tell for sure that it helps in some way?

My seroquel, I really can't sleep without it....before I started it I would be awake forever, or get into these weird half sleep half awake things with things in my mind.... Very disturbing.

If you had to eat one food (pizza or something, not the cuisine) for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Nachos.

What is your most valued material possession?

Obviously I don't count my parrot as a material possession, but if I was only allowed to pick one thing from my house he would be it, along with my hubby.

Unlike my husband, who has many material things that are of extreme sentimental or high monetary value, I don't. I guess of my stuff that is of sentimental value, I'd say my engagement ring. It's not really that valuable monetarily, but it is something I'd be very sad to lose. I will also be sad to lose my car, but it will happen. It's a 1997 Honda Civic, but it is 100% mine (bought before I was married) and I love it. The framed photo of my mother is also dear to me, but not valuable monetarily.

As for my personal somewhat high monetary value items, I guess a few pieces of jewelry or my grandfather's guitar. I would sell them if needed, and not be devastated. They're not that valuable monetarily.

I guess it sounds odd separating my husband's possessions from mine. He wouldn't, but I sort of do, not that I'm planning on leaving him, or vice versa.

Q: What is your favorite book of all time?

Summer of my Amazing Luck, but Miriam Toews. It's not her most critically acclaimed novel -and I have read all of those, and love them too. But, Summer, even more than 20 years after reading it the first time, still holds a little piece of my heart. My husband and read it aloud to one another, when, we were first together, and couldn't afford any entertainment except books and dvds borrowed from the library. He loved it too, and we still share one certain quote from the book each day, our way of connecting to those early days, and it reminds of us how much we really matter to one another.

What movie have you watched more than twice, that makes you cry every time you see it?

steuart little

I am a huge softy and cry everytime he leaves the little family, even though I know he finds his way back.

what is one thing (or more) that you think keeps you going in life?

Many things, I think, but obviously my husband is #1. I love him so much and know he loves me greatly, too. As for other things, I guess nature and my pet. Some things that happen in nature, and losing pets and loved ones is horrible, but there are always wonderful things/people that remain. I don't have many friends anymore, and relatives are passing and distant, but I can often find joy in even moments with people I barely know. I also try to savor the little pleasures in life. All of these things keep me alive and usually fairly well.

Q: When/where was the last notably positive experience you had with a stranger?