Bipolar Questions Version 4

I tried having a perfect sleep hygiene routine. No screens after dinner, only calming music, etc. and listening to a Beethoven for bedtime CD. Neither worked, just stayed up all night listening to it. I've tried a weighted blanket too, that sorta helped.

Q: Do you ever feel like you know more about bipolar disorder and the meds than your doc?

I feel like I know a lot after all of the research I did, but I think my doctors are well educated on bipolar disorder as well. I haven't mentioned anything to them that threw them off. However, they are struggling to diagnose me and have said my case is rare. That scares me. I don't like not knowing what I'm looking for. I'm just trying to stay vigilant and train myself to recognize mania and psychosis before they spiral out of control.

I do think doctors and therapists could leverage this board to learn more. I feel like people are honest here and you can get a sense of what it is really like living with bipolar if you follow regularly. I have learned a ton of helpful information from you all that I never found in the books I read. It is one thing to know all of the clinical data. It is another to see bipolar working daily in the lives of people.

Q: What is your favorite summertime meal?

I really enjoy food on the grill in the summer. All kinds of stuff. When we grill, I usually have many things to grill. Last year we started grilling bananas.

@fern46, my psychiatrist would likely never read a forum like this, but he always seems interested when I share observations from here. Recently, I shared feedback on Latuda from a thread I created on that topic. He doesn't have a long history prescribing that medication.

Q: Have you ever clearly taught something new to your pdoc or tdoc about bipolar disorder? What was it?

I agree. My doc would probably never come here either. I feel it is an untapped treasure trove though. For example, it is amazing to me how similar the psychosis of unrelated individuals are. In my short time here I have seen people post about their delusions and I'm blown away by the fact I experienced so much of the same even though it felt completely unique to me at the time. The brain is so complex, and yet more predictable than I thought.

I don't think so. I'm going to go with no.

Q: how many tabs do you have open right now?

10

What is the longest you have seen a single therapist?

5 months

have you ever been in an IOP or PHP? Did it help?

Yes. I did IOP for 6 weeks after I was discharged from the hospital. It did help. I was very unsure of myself and afraid of relapse. It allowed me to have a safe space to go and people to watch over me. I had one really good therapist while I was there and she pushed me a lot. I needed that. I also had a good pdoc while I was there. I'm glad I went. I am a stay at home mother and at the time I needed professionals to help me make sure I was stable enough to care for my children properly since I was recovering from my first episode ever.

Q. Do you prefer group therapy or one on one sessions?

deffenetely one on one

I hate groups.

what's been your worst injury

I've had a lot of mental and some physical illness but not really any injuries. Never broke a bone or had to go to the hospital for an injury. Lucky that way I guess.

What makes you happy?

My husband, my pet parrot, nature, humor, and music.

Q: What is something you care about that you will always have?

I don't know; I don't trust in permanence in my life.

Do you prefer male or female therapists?

A: I prefer male therapists. I know there isn't really a reason to have this preference but as a male I feel like another male might connect better with how I feel. I guess it's kind of like our first instinct to associate with those we have things in common with. First thing I can connect with my therapist with is that we are the same gender and probably share a lot of the same gender related issues. I would not be against a female therapist however, all problems aren't exactly gender-based. Lots of insight can come from someone very different from you, or even a different gender. I'm kind of overthinking this question I think. haha

Q: Let's say you can go back in time, and bring only ONE ITEM from the present with you. What would it be? How would you use it in the past? -- this can be personal past, or generational past or era.

Right now I'm going to say my super fancy, powerful electric toothbrush because tomorrow I have to have a root canal on a tooth that has already had 2 crowns in the last 12 months. I would do anything to prevent this.

What is your perfect weather day?

Fine, sunny and close to ,37’C (I think 100’F). This way I can go for both early morning and late afternoon snorkels. A thunderstorm after that would top it off.

How big is your TV?

32 inches I think.

Do you ever just chat with your therapist instead of talking about hard things?

Absolutely! I even do the same with my psychiatrist (with whom I spend 20+ mins), but I always also address important things within the same sessions. I love telling stories and usually also add humor, even during the hardest times. It's a coping mechanism. I am usually a person.

Q: Do you consider yourself a funny person? Or more serious? I'm talking in baseline states.

I'm funny but shy so it doesn't always show until I'm comfortable with someone.

Do you have a pet peeve?

Getting a bad case of the hiccups when I'm about to sit down and eat something really tasty.

What's your favourite outdoor temperature for a nice walk? Mine is -10 C.

Probably around the same as you, 0 C or below but sunny outside and without the wind chill factor as well.

What helps you sleep?

A: A heap of meds and a 3-5 hour routine

Q: Do you have dental issues from meds/dry mouth?

Not from meds or dry mouth, but I have many fillings from years of excess candy consumption,

Q: When was the last time you cursed out loud?

Honestly, I don't know. I think the last time I wrote a quasi curse, it wasn't even me that cursed. I was telling a story about how Mr. Wonderful cursed on the show Shark Tank. I literally used the word "Expletive" before "you", so that wasn't formally a curse. It was even partially bleeped, of course. I am not a frequent curser. I grew up in a family that rarely cursed. Not even my dad. When I do it's usually when I am in a bad mixed episode or someone really does something horrible. Some of my family members, including me, have had periods when we yelled, but not often with curse words involved. My husband occasionally curses, but only in Czech. He curses less often than other Czech men, I think.

If I cursed in front of my parents growing up, I was in trouble. Once I told my mom to go to hell, when I was about 13 years old. That was NOT tolerated! I guess I give hand gestures or honk my car horn much more often, with only the horn usually noticed.

I remember cursing once on the playground at age 8. The teacher heard me. At that time, in Pennsylvania, if you went to the principal's office, you might have received a choice of after school suspension or the paddle. My siblings and I asked for the paddle. It was the better choice. That may seem hard for younger people to understand.

Q: What was a positive thing about your upbringing?

sesame street.

in the dark and the unforgiving days of abuse, that really provided me a lifeline and a chance to get away from it all.

every day, 12 PM, I was their, in front of my tv, watching it

(I even had the cookie monster shaped cookies for lunch sometimes.)

so with that in mind: when you were growing up, what was your escape?

My radio in my room was my escape. I used to memorize all of the songs and sing along for hours.

What is your favorite decade of music?