I have a tendency to tell myself I'm OK even when I'm actually experiencing mild bipolar depressive or hypomanic symptoms. I think I do this because I really want to be OK so much that I am in a bit of a denial. I don't know if others sometimes or often do this, too. Anyway, sometimes I finally do figure out the reality of my moods, after the fact. I recall in the past (when I used to fill one out), going back and changing moods from baseline to mildly depressed or hypomanic on a mood chart. I've done similar even between other severities of depression or bipolar mania.


Am I mildly depressed?



I have had some nice moments these past few weeks. If I see someone in public, I feel momentary satisfaction. If by chance a good song is on the radio (if I even play the radio, which I do only in my car), I can get into it. But only a few songs rock my boat anymore.


Though my self care isn't always good even when "baseline", I've neglected it longer than usual these past couple weeks.


I really have no interest in doing anything other than looking for support on forums.


I have not been able to write anything in my blog for weeks.


I abandoned my diet over a month ago.



I dread going most places, but can still force myself to. Sometimes I'm glad I did, but that doesn't encourage me to keep excursions up.


I feel guilty that I do not play with my pet enough.


I dread my husband's and my financial situation, and dread the idea of his ideas to rectify it.


I'm grieving the loss of my old therapist, and want to reduce my sessions with my new one from every week to every other week.


I'm not cooking as much as usual.


I stay in bed most of the day on my phone or computer.


I'm falling asleep much earlier than usual and having difficulty getting up at my usual time.


I'm procrastinating and blowing things off a lot.


I'm not doing as many chores as usual.


I never do deliberate exercise.


There are moments when I wish my husband didn't love me as much as he does, because then I could hide away by myself and not face the plans he has to escape our financial situation.


I have no faith that my husband's ideas would yield any good. In fact, I am terrified of them.


I never contact any of my family members and they rarely contact me.


I feel like I cannot see a chance of significant improvement in my situation.


I used to love seeing my psychiatrist, but now I have a touch of dread in seeing him.


I am mostly only eating unhealthful foods.


That's all I can think of for now.

[Faltering]

Yes, it sounds like you might be mildly depressed. There are several signs of losing interest in things and having little hope for the future.

[Wild Coyote]

The above list is pretty convincing about your having some degree of depression.

Simply staying in bed all day might be an indicator, not to mention all of the other things on your list.

I hope you feel better soon!


WC

[liveforsummer]

Take care of yourself

I just got home after my psychiatrist appointment. He adjusted my Seroquel XR, downward. That has helped in the past, especially when the depression is the low energy/motivation/hypersomnia type. He increases my Seroquel XR when I have manic symptoms, am in a mixed state, or agitated/anxious depressed state.

[~Christina]

Hope the med change helps !

(Types this from my bed so I can relate )

[Sunflower123]

A lot of the things you listed are similar to ones I encounter when I am in some state of depression. I hope the medicine helps and you feel better soon.

[luvyrself]

Yep, eat bon bons in bed, they don’t leave as many crumbs as crackers LOL!
What does he expect to do in Portugal? How would it be better?

[TheSeaCat]

I'm sorry Bird but it does sound like you are entering a depressed state. I do hope that the medication adjustment helps. Anyway take care of yourself there is nothing worse than depression.

It does sound that way. Hope the med adjustment gets you feeling better soon.

(I also can't help but wonder how much of your husband's Czech ideas might be exacerbating it. If I didn't feel heard over something so major, it'd not help my state of mind AT ALL.)

Thanks, everyone! Yesterday my psychiatrist lowered my Seroquel XR from 600 to 500 mgs. That's his usual strategy when I'm depressed in a low energy numb kind of way. He only increases my dose if I'm some level of manic, in a mixed state, or depressed with agitation. I've got to say that taking only 500 mg last night has already made a slight difference. I took it right before my adult school class at 7 pm, and unlike lately when I've fallen asleep at 8 or 9 pm and struggled to get up, I was plenty awake until about 10:30 pm last night and managed to get to the phlebotomist at 7 am ish this morning. I even feel noticably better right now. Was that extra Seroquel XR really just too sedating to the point of lowering my mood, or was my success at the class a factor?

Innerzone, the moving to Europe has definitely exacerbated my mood issues.

luvyrself, I am obviously not keen on moving to Europe, but believe it or not in some ways it would provide us with a better lifestyle and more security than living in the US for retirement. I'm still a ways from retirement, but have been on disability. My husband is older than me. In Portugal, we could buy a house or flat that is even nicer than our current house for almost 50% of what we could potentially get for our current house. The taxes are also lower and since my husband is an EU citizen, health insurance would be more guaranteed, too, than in the US. My husband is a Czech. He's not interested in returning there, plus it can be more expensive in Czech Republic than Portugal and the weather there doesn't compare to Portugal's. I like that in Czech Republic we have family and many friends and my husband is a native speaker. In Portugal we have none of these things. I speak more Czech than Portuguese, but still little Czech and Czech is a very difficult language to learn. If ever Czech Republic did a stunt like the UK's Brexit, which they sometimes threaten, it would no longer be an EU country. Then benefits outside Czech Republic would lessen. In Czech Republic, health insurance is a right for citizens. Everyone has it, healthcare is very good, and no one is ever financially affected when they become sick.

Ooops, got that mixed up.