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#1
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Anyone else having trouble in school?
I'm a college student and while people without mental disorders say university is hard I wonder how blissful their life must be without the random bouts of deep depression, psychotic breaks and generalized anxiety. This sounds a lot saltier in writing than how I'd say it in real life haha. Most (not all) of my friends with mental disorders don't/can't go through school. It's kind of a miracle to get out of bed, let alone hand in three essays. Luckily my college has accommodations, but it's really a surface thing. If you go part-time they take away your financial aid and grants. And, if you decide to take anything under six classes, you're charged the same amount as though you were taking the six. So...among other things...not all that accommodating.... As I'm writing this I should probably be working on those essays. Just sometimes my mind is a block and I want to go under the covers. What do you guys study? |
#2
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I've been out of college for awhile. I studied Microbiology with a minor in Chemistry at a very large university and graduated summa cum laude with all A's and one B. I'd AP tested out of Texas college/university 2 semesters of English, a semester of government, and a semester of economics in high school (would have done more AP testing, but that was all my high school offered at the time.) But I am an all-or-nothing perfectionist. Bipolar hadn't hit quite full for yet, but I had bad anorexia. I went to graduate school afterwards because I didn't know what else to do and got an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology, a first author journal publications and several others publications, 3 or 4 of them, my professor was generous in including all or most lab members on a journal articles, whether you contributed with experiments or in my case, re-wrote sections of the article poorly written by non-native English speakers. He spoke English quite well, but his first language was Greek. So I'd get put on as an author just for the re-writes.
By my M.S., the bipolar hit hard along with panic disorder; I was unintentionally involved in a shooting incident where the guy had bad aim, shattered the glass in my balcony door while I was asleep thankfully in the bedroom as the bullet hit a book int the bookcase across the living room, when he'd meant to shoot out the glass in the patio door in the apartment below me, and his girlfriend/ex was out of town, so the police zeroed in on my life, especially as I had psych med bottles out (not expecting visitors or to be involved in a police investigation). Police even thought I might have shot at my door myself for attention ![]() But I found grad school much harder and realized I hated research in the lab as well. I'd planned to get my PhD, but my academic advisor thought the M.S. path best for me, and my professor agreed (though he was a 1st year associate professor and the science advisor had much seniority over him, he likely agreed with everything she advised. What is your major?
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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#3
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It seems like you have a huge body of work. So good that you made it this far! Sounds like it was tough though. I major in critical studies and minor in philosophy. |
#4
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i can relate a lot. i'm studying psychology via an online college, and most of the time i can't concentrate enough to do the set readings. i scrape by by skim-reading stuff and trying to write enough rubbish to look convincing, but it's really hard. when i'm depressed i literally don't care and often don't hand things in.
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#5
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#6
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I graduated in 2013 (B.S.) and 2015 (M.S.). I did both unmedicated despite having bipolar symptoms starting up at 14.
My trick was to choose courses wisely. I didn't get to take all the courses I wanted to take because some of them were too demanding, so I ended up taking some annoying or stupid ones in place of the ones I wanted to take. Regardless, I have the job I want doing the stuff I want, so at the end of the day, it didn't matter which courses I took. I guess all that mattered was me being motivated and willing to teach myself new things. Most jobs don't require much knowledge from college/university; they require skill and skillsets. |
![]() clydeblack, Wild Coyote
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#7
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I found an empty room in the basement of my dorm that had NO distractions. Certain parts of a library can substitute. Get out of that room. Use headphones if nec. I already had depression not recognizing the bipolar crying in the rain to mask it in the —— u of Illinois fall weather. At least I was walking. I had done my Uber achievement in hs til my pararents divorce, moms cancer (she beat it), dads mid age alcoholism had me trying to regroup—w no forum!!!!!
Humorous aspects. Univ roomie was having it on w the entire football team. She later got on lexapro, received her masters, married lovely hometown pilot and to this day (in ft worth) would do anything for me and has provided refuge when I needed to regroup. ![]()
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Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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#8
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Can you ask around to others in your major if they have heard anything about the classes for next semester, which professors are hard, which are not? For me, this was so helpful for organic chemistry, biochemistry, and even my "B" class, Physics II (so lucky to get the B). Not that these required subjects for my major were easy, but I learned beforehand the professors I took were easier than the profs offered that semester. However, I went to an extremely large college (Texas A&M, main campus), so I had lots of opportunities for different professors even for required courses. I also needed 4 semesters of PE to graduate; those you could take on pass/fail, but only got 1 credit for, so I took 3 semesters of badminton, one of self-defense, and later to have the hours I needed, badminton again. Seminar classes if they fit into your schedule are easier too, but they also tend to give 1 credit. Most of those were graded by attendance though there was one each student got a topic to present (no tests though). I did a poster on pheromones, a topic that turned out to be more interesting than I thought when I found that was my presentation topic. Most of the seminars you could also take on pass/fail. Mostly they looked at attendance and if you did your part (such as the presentation), if you paid attention in the poster class, there were large seminars too where a scientist would come and talk about their research, new developments in their field of study. That one, the student advisor actually wrote down names as students in science came in or out and if she saw them seated (though those seminars were huge, hard to see if a student attended or not, so I always made sure the advisor had my name on her list when leaving), and you had to have attended a certain number of times for the credit. Oh, and my psychology (just basic) course offered partial credit the more psychology research you participated in (by the psych grad students), even getting out of exams. It was stuff like hearing words, doing a page of math problems, then writing the words you remembered. One I did was pictures of how attractive each face I saw projected. Another had one group shown good/happy pictures (kittens, things like that), the other negative/scary things (WWII atomic bomb & aftermath, scary bugs, monsters, etc.) then you had to rate your feelings right after seeing these things (I was in the bad image group). So see if there are courses that my help or give extra credit to your main grade if you participate in graduate research.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() clydeblack
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#9
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College is when I first had a major mixed episode and got diagnosed. My grades fluctuated a lot. Some semesters I could handle a 4.0, and others I couldn't. I did manage to maintain a 4.0 in graduate school. My biggest hurdle was not actually bipolar disorder, but social anxiety. I couldn't sit in class without freezing in place and thinking everyone was watching me. It was like a long panic attack. It was very hard to concentrate with that fear.
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Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg |
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#10
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Wow you all went to graduate school/actually finished college haha. That's awesome.
This is literally my second attempt as a bachelors and I'm super afraid because there are still four semesters left and each one so far has resulted in either a hospitalization or the school's attempt to hospitalize me (determined to not have that happen this semester!!). I graduated high school in 2012 so it's been a while. Yeah, we pay an arm and a leg for this school though (luckily it's a good school) and I have so many projects on the side, but I really love it. Also, the pressure is on for that GPA since I'm here on a scholarship. It's just that each week is completely unpredictable and I feel low-key inadequate for feeling like it's so hard lol. |
#11
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#12
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I dropped out, 6 times. I was almost hospitalized each time. See I’d sign up when manic and quit when depressed. I only have enough financial aid for one more year. Currently I’m studying to test out of the 45 credits allowed. So I can at least get my AA. I would like to work as a college academic adviser but I need a Masters degree for that So I have to be creative in how I reach that goal.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#13
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clydeblack - i'm kind of in a similar situation to you, i think. i've got a while to go - and yes, it is really easy to do other things at home rather than study!
i have previously dropped out of bachelor's degrees and now feel even more pressure to finish this. right now it feels like i will never graduate with a degree. i'm doing this very part-time, but i struggle to get the work done each week. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh |
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#14
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#15
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When I was in college I thankfully didn’t have any bipolar symptoms. But when I went back for my masters in special ed, I couldn’t do it. I had to take the same class three times because I kept dropping out. I managed three classes before I finally decided to bag the whole thing. I wish I could get my masters but I just can’t while working full time and as a single mother I have to work full time. I don’t want to do special ed anymore anyway.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#16
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#17
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What are your plans now? |
#18
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I wanted to work with behavioral students. I actually did for four years but the stress was too much. Actually the stress of teaching in general was too much. Now I work as an aide in a special ed classroom and it’s still an environment I love to be in but much less stress.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
#19
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Hi. First, give yourself some love for going to college, studying, and desiring to accomplish your goal.
I have a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. During my college, I didn't have many struggles with symptoms. Previously, in my sophomore year of high school, I was hospitalized, and given Lithium and Prozac. I was able to maintain a high GPA, and then straight A's senior year. I refused to take the medicines after I had been on them for a year in high school. I went to university right after high school and really didn't think anything of the diagnosis and everything I had been through. I have always loved school actually, so my focus and passion was constantly being fed. I enjoy being busy and immersed in studies. It's a nice distraction from the rest of the world, and of life in general! Stay away from drinking, and if you do, keep it minimal. Bipolar mood shifts can easily be triggered by alcohol. Try to have a consistent time of going to bed, and waking up. I'm in the process of enrolling for my Masters in Nursing. I'm contemplating which school would be the best while I work full time in the hospital. Also, I'm researching what exactly I want to specialize in as a Nurse Practitioner. Don't be hard on yourself, and remember to try to say good things to yourself when negative chatter starts to take over your mind. |
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#20
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I love studying too! Will try to feel less mad at myself. |
![]() MsSchadenfreude
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#21
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#22
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I never made it through school (a lot of hospital visits) that said, I really enjoyed history and I really liked wiliam shakespeare (especially romeo and juliet) I was naughty in most other classes though |
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#23
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one of my earlier ambitions in life was to be a vet, and I did (for a brief period of stability), go on a course on a farm which was to do with animals
the leader of the course though knew I was struggling and took the decision to take me off. my parents called me a
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you know what's sad? they were right.. look at me now I have nothing going for me at all |
![]() clydeblack, MsSchadenfreude, nikon, unaluna
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#24
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#25
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thanks, same to you!
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