[Blueberrybook]

Tomorrow is the 1 yr. anniversary of that perforated ulcer I got last Valentine's Day. It nearly killed me, did in our finances, strained my marriage, woke up my ED (nothing like suddenly losing 10 lb. in the hospital to do that), started a whole horrible cascade of events with the bipolar getting too out of control. Made the bipolar mixed worse, not to mention transitioning to a new pdoc and getting situated on new meds because I got manic and couldn't sleep on the old combo of Trazodone/hydroxyzine.

The start of a long year of strain, pain & hardships; divorce was very close. Our marriage seems to be slowly mending, helped by H's new job. Not that we're rich, but at least we can afford the mortgage, bills, groceries, clothes for my daughter (growing like a weed). We have a bit less financial strain, will have better health insurance once it kicks in next month, and H can work from home Tuesdays & Thursdays (though he works late Mondays and Wednesdays, sometimes Fridays), which is nice for intimacy in our marriage (our daughter's room being across the hall from our bedroom and her becoming quite the night owl).

I hope this Valentine's Day will be much better. H will hopefully have a better birthday this year too. His birthday is Feb. 15, and I was in the hospital post-surgery wing, hallucinating with pain and the drugs last year; I don't think I even remembered about his birthday until the day I was released from the hospital 6 days later, and I was still hurting really, really bad. You don't just pop up from ulcer surgery; I was lucky to not have much pain after 6 weeks; lots of people get complications. Next month, I see the GI doc again. I hope he will take me off the Protonix as it ups fracture risks with falls, and I already have osteopenia with the ED, and it seems the fracture risk is greater than first thought as more & more warnings about it pop up every time on the info sheet when I get the Protonix refilled.

Really do need to see the pdoc again. I am not being completely compliant with meds, especially Seroquel & Lamictal, mostly Seroquel. The 500 mg makes me tired, so I just take 400 mg most nights, or sometimes 100 mg, not good, I know. Waiting on the better insurance though. I already have to spend $650 to get a crown next week at the dentist (and that is with dental insurance even...sigh).

[yellow_fleurs]

I am glad you are healthier and have more financial stability this year. I am sure that experience was very difficult. Maybe you can do something nice this year to celebrate those positives.

[luvyrself]

I agree with yellow fleurs that this is a chance to make new and far better memories. You can do something inexpensive but sweet and memorable for your husbands birthday. Him working from home does present some great chances for private moments!

[Wander]

That is such a horrible experience to go through. May this Valentines Day and the year ahead be the best so far.

[MickeyCheeky]

You're a wonderful person, Blueberrybook I admire your strength and will. You've been through so much and there you are, still standing. Be proud of yourself for that. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that, but acknowledge all the progress you've made in just one year. I'm glad things are going better now. I hope they will get even better for you and your family! You all deserve to be happy. Thank you for sharing your story here on PC. I'm sure it will inspire and ecnourage many other people here on PC. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

I hope today is much much better than last year at this time, Blueberrybook! I also hope that in time, when Valentine's day comes, that you will forget about it as being an anniversary of a horrible event. Though processing, grieving, and learning from bad/traumatic events is necessary, so is leaving them behind eventually. At least that's how I feel about them.

[Blueberrybook]

Thanks so much everyone. I wouldn't have thought it, but that whole ordeal of the perforated ulcer led to even more PTSD, but, truly, it was a nightmare.

H gets to work from home today, so that has been nice, especially for Valentine's Day

I know when I feel like I can't do something or am weak, I need to remember just what I've overcome, not just this ulcer incident, though yep, it's in there for sure, but many hardships in my life in general. Though it is true that last year has had to be the hardest year all year long that I have been through. It even started hard, with H having to bury his mother in January as she'd passed away late December 2017.