Update

A couple of people asked for an update on my situation. I was IP for 4 weeks and received ECT. My situation only got worse but I begged to be released even though the staff were worried about me. I just had to get out of there. And the mixed state I am in made me desperate to escape.

Anyway, since discharge my mind has gone out of control (well more so). I swing from elation to severe depression rapidly. My thoughts are all over the place, hard to pin down, and rapid. I barely sleep except for brief naps here and there. I am staying with my parents, as per discharge agreement, and they are VERY watchful. It really annoys me but I think it is keeping me safe. I have also spent a tonne of my savings on random online and in-store purchases. They are slowly trickling through the mail. lol

Well today I had my first maintenance ECT and my brain has actually calmed down so far today (it is 3.30 pm). Before the 6 am treatment I had a rough night being very agitated and depressed, unable to sleep then suddenly cheerful at about 5 am. My mood may be 'up' but my thoughts are slowing. Yey!

I really hope this pattern continues. I still can't sit still and keep planning catch up with friends, swimming in the ocean, going for long drives etc. All good things but I really need to hide myself in a dark room sometimes and withdraw from the stimulation that seems to further drive the mixed state. I am still very agitated a lot of the time too. I hope that calms down soon. I have meds to help me do that but I fight myself to take them as 'I don't want to calm down' (stamps foot).

Oh well, it is just one good day but thats a start right.

((((Wander)))) I hope things will get better for you.

I can understand why you had to get out of IP--four weeks? Wow.

Take those medications as directed since you aren't doing well. They take time to work. I am guilty of thinking I don't need them because I am doing well but when I start cutting back I realize I need them. Stability IS better in the long run than euphoria because there is a price to be paid when you start seeking and enjoying that state.

((((( Wander )))))

Wow! I had ECT yesterday morning and immediately after I felt that I had com back to myself. I was suddenly well. It has stayed that way since. It is amazing to have all those negative symptoms disappear so swiftly. It was my sixth ECT so it took a few but here I am, back to normal. Only now can I see how unwell I was. A horrible mixed episode, or BP1 with mixed features, as DSM-5 specifies. Crazy time. I’m so thankful to be stable again. It is early days but I’m off to good start.

So good to hear about the positive results. Hope the stability keeps on keeping on.

Wander, I love you no matter what. And you know it. Hang in there. It will go away. As it always does.

Cheers.

I'm glad for you that you are benefiting from treatment right now.
Wishing you well.

That's great news, Wander!

Thanks everyone but oh dear, I am spinning like a spinning top today. Very productive at least but can't imagine I could sustain this pace for very long. I'm speeding up again. At least I have heaps to do and people to see. I'm too busy to take sedating meds during the day but I am taking Seroquel for sleep some nights. I should slow down, but I am having too much fun.

please take the seroquel every night.
This is mania talk. This leads you to bad places remember.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh.....
bizi

Thanks Bizi. I know you mean well. The last few nights I took it and slept 10-15 hours so I must have needed the sleep. Tonight I gave it a miss as I’m at a friends for the night and we stayed up late talking. In hindsight I probably should have taken a small dose as it’s now 1.30 am and I’m wide awake. I just don’t want to miss out on life sleeping so much yet my rational mind tells me this is just until I’m stable then hopefully I can get into a healthy sleeping pattern of 8 hours a night without Seroquel. It is so difficult combatting the hypomanic thoughts and desires. At least I’m a lot better than I was a couple of weeks ago.