[TheSeaCat]

Hi guys I’m out of the hospital, was released at noon and just woke up from a light nap to recharge my tired brain so that I can study for finals; well really Epidemiology, I’m not at all worried about the others since the extra credit in a few of them make it impossible for me to get anything less than the A I currently have. So really those finals are just yes I did the final.

My cat has been all over me loving and a kissing and basically refusing to leave my side, he’s followed me to the bathroom. Yaps-a-lot has been the same as kitty in terms of his neediness. Which is fine because I’ve missed him to even if he does yap at everything. I still need to go get ‘baby’ from the mall later.

I am currently cuddled up under a heated blanket studying. I also heard back from the Master’s program assuming my grades stay the same this semester and next semester I will be admitted to the Master’s program so I can get my MS in Healthcare Administration which is what my boss has. I just got to get through next semester and I will finally have my Bachelor’s.

Hospitalist really didn’t want to release me but unfortunately for him it was my Cardiologist decision, which he knows my baseline resting heart rate is usually 130 so that’s normal. Plus my ear infection has cleared up, I have no lingering effects from the concussion, and best of the stitches in my head are the dissolvable kind so I don’t have to worry about those. Granted family doc still wants to see me after Christmas; as does Cardiologist.

Blood pressure is back to normal and didn’t bottom out in the middle of the night. The fainting episode is still unexplained, but I did get news about the heart and hopefully a medication that works.

Hugs to everyone and thank you all for the and support.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hi guys I’m out of the hospital, was released at noon and just woke up from a light nap to recharge my tired brain so that I can study for finals; well really Epidemiology, I’m not at all worried about the others since the extra credit in a few of them make it impossible for me to get anything less than the A I currently have. So really those finals are just yes I did the final.

My cat has been all over me loving and a kissing and basically refusing to leave my side, he’s followed me to the bathroom. Yaps-a-lot has been the same as kitty in terms of his neediness. Which is fine because I’ve missed him to even if he does yap at everything. I still need to go get ‘baby’ from the mall later.

I am currently cuddled up under a heated blanket studying. I also heard back from the Master’s program assuming my grades stay the same this semester and next semester I will be admitted to the Master’s program so I can get my MS in Healthcare Administration which is what my boss has. I just got to get through next semester and I will finally have my Bachelor’s.

Hospitalist really didn’t want to release me but unfortunately for him it was my Cardiologist decision, which he knows my baseline resting heart rate is usually 130 so that’s normal. Plus my ear infection has cleared up, I have no lingering effects from the concussion, and best of the stitches in my head are the dissolvable kind so I don’t have to worry about those. Granted family doc still wants to see me after Christmas; as does Cardiologist.

Blood pressure is back to normal and didn’t bottom out in the middle of the night. The fainting episode is still unexplained, but I did get news about the heart and hopefully a medication that works.

Hugs to everyone and thank you all for the and support.

Glad you are home and are enjoying it!

WC

[tecomsin]

I am seeing my pdoc soon. Just had a shower; I'm down to 2 or 3 a week nowadays. I've developed a tremor since starting olanzapine. So far it is only noticeable when I am eating. I don't want to take it any longer than necessary. Am sleeping till after 6, which is almost good enough. My son had a meltdown with me yesterday via text and I lost my cool too, but he will be moving out soon and I will be back to my normal schedule instead of trying to stay up late to pick him up and drive home.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I am seeing my pdoc soon. Just had a shower; I'm down to 2 or 3 a week nowadays. I've developed a tremor since starting olanzapine. So far it is only noticeable when I am eating. I don't want to take it any longer than necessary. Am sleeping till after 6, which is almost good enough. My son had a meltdown with me yesterday via text and I lost my cool too, but he will be moving out soon and I will be back to my normal schedule instead of trying to stay up late to pick him up and drive home.

I sometimes get tremors from various meds and it really bothers me.
I hope your pdoc can help with this.

Sorry about the meltdown. I know you love your son and he loves you.

Please take care!

WC

[~Christina]

Leaving about 1 am on the 21st for Florida. Right now I’m in stress mode, I have lists of how to winterize our home and then packing for the trip. My lists start to features me as I start checking things off.

Anyone else traveling for the holidays ?

[Nammu]

Don't know as you can really call it traveling as both trips are less than an hour and so far the weather sounds good for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Christmas Eve mum and I are driving to my daughter's to watch my grandson in a show at his school. Then we're gonna have pizza and open gifts. Then Christmas Day we're driving out to the boondocks where my nephew's new house is. That one is scarier as there's gravel roads and I've never driven out there before.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Don't know as you can really call it traveling as both trips are less than an hour and so far the weather sounds good for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Christmas Eve mum and I are driving to my daughter's to watch my grandson in a show at his school. Then we're gonna have pizza and open gifts. Then Christmas Day we're driving out to the boondocks where my nephew's new house is. That one is scarier as there's gravel roads and I've never driven out there before.

Sounds like fun ! Hopefully the travel will be easy going !

[Faltering]

It took a month, but I think lithium is finally starting to work. I feel more stable and less angry. Sleep is still a problem though and anxiety has worsened.

[Guiness187055]

Not a very productive day spent the whole day on the couch napping after a horrible night of sleep. I was up every 2 hours. Insomnia is a *****. Tomorrow I have a GP appointment so she can fill out more paperwork for my disability. My disability case is based purely on mental health. My lawyer wants my GP to diagnose my uncontrolled diabetes and bad back also. She is a new doctor for me my old doctor moved so I am going to have to walk her through my health records. At least I will get off of the couch. Hope all is well with everyone.

TheSeaCat, I'm glad you're back from the hospital!

tecomsin, it'll be nice when things calm down for you.

Christina, safe travels!

The only thing I did other than minor tidying is to make Linzer tart cookies. It was a LOT of work. I went a little nutty towards the ends. Most all of these cookies are filled with raspberry or red currant jam. But I had the little mini cut outs (from the middle of the top cookie of the Linzer tart cookies) that I didn't know what to do with. I had the brilliant idea of putting a dot of Nutella sandwiched between them. They look cute! They are like baby cookies.

So today's cookies means that I'm up to five varieties (and counting). Tomorrow I have a psychiatrist appointment, so if I make another type it has to be a really easy and fairly quick one. I'm thinking of either marzipan cookies (aka Bethmannchen cookies) or a coconut cookie with salted caramel chips dipped halfway in bittersweet chocolate with toasted coconut decoration (on the chocolate).

About a week and a half ago I decided to lower my Seroquel XR from 600 mg to 500 mg. I had been sleeping almost 12 hours per night, and though my mood was fine, I felt a little sluggish during the day. Well, after about the reduction, my sleep reduced to 10 then 8. One night I only slept 5.5 hours, but it's been about 8, for the most part. The difference is that I am super duper motivated with great energy all day until about 4 pm (several days), or about 6 pm (these last couple of days). Initially, I wasn't worried about my psychiatrist getting angry about my reducing the Seroquel XR on my own. Now I'm thinking that he'll not approve. Maybe he won't be angry, but won't approve.He'll likely roll his eyes or shake his head a bit. Or maybe he won't if I don't tell him about my recent activity level.

Though my mother-in-law easily baked 12 to 13 varieties of Christmas cookies during a two-week period, that's not usually my productivity level anymore. [Used to definitely be in the past, but no more.] But I think that my current productivity level would be considered "normal" for a "normal" person. I don't feel hypomanic, but at times I wonder if I have proper insight. I asked my husband about that last night and he made a comment that implied that maybe I am very slightly hypomanic. But what if he was just kidding. Now I don't know. The question is:

Should I even mention my cookie making bonanza to my psychiatrist? I could mention I'm making cookies, but maybe I won't mention that I plan on making 8 varieties. But again, my mother-in-law made 12 to 13.

Another great thing lately is that my appetite has been reduced a lot. Would you believe that I have eaten on average only one cookie per day? A couple days two, but mostly one. Yesterday, none. Today I only sampled two cookies (little cookies). At first I wasn't going to, but both broke and I said to myself "Shouldn't you at least see what they taste like?" Well, they are pretty yummy!

[Moose72]

Pdoc called. I wasnt supposed to stop trazodone! So im back on that and seroquel and cutting the last of the haldol out.

[tecomsin]

BirdDancer, I got hungry reading your posts after I already had my dinner. We don't have a snack as yummy but some store bought cake will have to do.

[TheSeaCat]

Birddancer stop you are making me hungry! I kind of want to come over for all this food.

M and R would really like to take tomorrow off as well since neither one of them want to leave me in the house alone to do my finals. So M is going back to work tomorrow and R is staying home to babysit me; since apparently I need a babysitter. It's seriously a wonder they aren't following me to the bathroom. I love them both dearly but I could do without the hovering. I had to deal with editing my weekly pill case since I am no longer on the one pill, not to mention I was almost out for the week anyway so I just filled them all up. I really wish medications could be in rainbow colors.

I promised my parents I would do dinner tomorrow at their house and bring 'baby' down so dad could examine the purchase and make sure I didn't get screwed. I already know he's not going to like it. I can already hear that conversation in my head. I can also picture the awkward M conversation. I mean his feelings were probably very evident; heck my feelings are evident too. I wish I wouldn't have fainted in front of him; or needed to stay in the hospital for 3 and half days.

In other news there is nothing better than R's shower and my actual toiletries, my hair actually feels like hair instead of sad spaghetti. It's a wonder one of them wasn't stationed on the toilet while i showered.

My boss messaged me and told me she missed me and couldn't wait for me to come back Thursday. She also told me my new fax machine was delivered. She told me IT even put a bow on it as a joke. It's not my fault the other one kept giving me issues; I swear it was possessed.

I swear Epidemiology is going to be the death of me. I've kind of taken a small break from studying to try and find a cute dress for the Company Christmas/New Year's Party. I mean my anxiety is already flaring up at a big room of a lot of people; but I think I can handle it as long as I stay within the groups I know.

Hugs to everyone and thank you all again for the

[Wild Coyote]

Had a better day today.
Got some work done.

Love to All!

WC

[Sunflower123]

Went to the last drum circle tonight although I really didn’t want to...I’d been on the go all day. I’m glad I went.

Designated worry times are helping most of the time and I have kept busy but I’ve had panic attacks daily which disappoints me but I’m functioning pretty well aside from that.

Sending hugs to all.

[wildflowerchild25]

My student came back today! It was so nice to be back in my old classroom and have her back. She’s so sweet. She was happy to be back as well. She just laughed and laughed when the teacher wheeled her in. She looks so much brighter! Now that she’s getting proper nutrition she seems a lot more active. She’s hydrated properly too; she had two very wet diapers whereas previously she would only have one slightly wet diaper. It’s so nice to see her that way.

RS came over to help make cookies tonight and spent most of the night playing with my son. He’s such a good sport and so good with him. He’s coming to my son’s winter concert tomorrow and he will meet my grandma. She already likes him because he knew to take me to the amazing botanical garden. I’m glad he will get to meet her. I want to show him off to everyone!

I talked to my therapist about how scared I was to quit nicotine. She had a good idea. She said I should try to find a vape company that sells the pens I like but has lower and no nicotine options. That way I can taper myself down. I found one that I used before that was acceptable and I’m going to buy them at a lower nicotine concentration when my cartridges run out. I’ll use those for a month or so and then go down to zero nicotine. I think this might work out better for me. I’m so glad I have her. She always knows how to help me.

[Tucson]

Today went OK. I did find out that I was turned down for a job yet another time. No Dillards, Sears, Macys, Best Buy, and Farmers Insurance sales clerk. I will next apply to Home Depot, Lowes, and Walmart. Lets hope for the best. Otherwise, I will need to go to door to door for a job. Maybe Circle K?

[beauflow]

s
Many well thoughts to everyone!

Yay TheSeaCat you're home!

Birddancer- your cookies sound great, ((and idk, but I would mention the cookies))...
[[[ I had one year I made so myself but me I ate a lot! ... swore never again!! ]]]

Christina many well safe travels
((- and not here.. no traveling. dog watcher beauflow on the look out for skunks.
I wanted to go somewhere but didn't plan well :/ need to work on that. ))

Raging Vortex many hugs, your nails sound pretty!!

And I did read others, but oi... I'm sorry

--
I was all over the place today, I'm so glad I drove all over when I was younger-- I got a lot of miles and memories with places, but I may not remember when being told about an area-- like
one highway I didn't remember it till I was on it,.. ((so much fun in away, if you know what's going on... no fun , if you're new to it or if it's overcrowded )).

it's a little funny - I took a picture in the first mall and I look sooo tired, almost like I should go home..
Then the second mall I look awake, and this was when I was leaving that one.

.in short I went to two malls and one area that used to have a mall and I'm very baffled by what's going on
20 to 30 years estimated for them to build this new area .... will it ever be??!

I allowed someone to touch my hair out of no where... the young lady handed me a packet and all I said was thanks... she asked of course, if she could do my hair.. and i figured why not? I knew they'd try to sell me something..

though, shame. *ring bell* shame.. i did buy the hair thing, but they gave me a college discount because idk why ..... they knew I wasn't in college
? Happy holidays I was told..
the look on my face may have helped- when they told me the price for "full price with two free" or "one discounted " .. ... I got mine for a third, and I was even hesitant on that... but I was amazed with the curls .... I hope this was kindness but idk,.. so I will hope . I'll try it out Tomorrow or someday, I do want to see how long the curls will last.... ((this was the first time curling my hair with something, I don't want to damage my hair..))

I did note, --well - I had issues talking a bit.. like in general, even at the first mall... like in my head it's all going, but verbal... meh ... some tried to understand... some I got strange looks.. but I didn't get frustrated with myself or anyone today though.. I was glad that-I just did go out... people were either people, or nice

I try not to focus too much on my speech ... maybe I should... my speech.. it's always been a problem, but some days I'm crystal clear and other days, "what came out?" If it even does-- and both with low and fast thinking? ... idk .. I just don't.. I do understand that could be a symptom, but I felt ok today.. tired/ awake

Hoping for rest for everyone but not too much

[Blue_Bird]

I had a good day I felt great after finally getting sleep. No bizarre thoughts, feelings, etc. Was supposed to see a nutritionist but my ride never showed up so that didn't work out. I went to my favorite used bookstore and got some stuff. I love that place so much. I got this beautiful big hardcover book of Catholic Saints for $2. In perfect condition, it's normal sale price is almost $30. I always find awesome stuff there. They also sell some CDs (all $2) and DVDs ($3). I can't believe I've been in this neighborhood for 3 years and only just started going there this past month!

I had a lot of anxiety in the evening, but I ended up playing with my cats to distract myself and went to sleep for a couple hours (it's about 1:30am now) I'll go back to sleep later, just feel like reading for a bit.

It's strange being on winter break and not having to worry about assignments/deadlines etc lol I almost don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to hang out with a friend later in the day.

Hope everyone is doing okay

@TheSeaCat, so glad you're out of the hospital and doing well

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I had a good day I felt great after finally getting sleep. No bizarre thoughts, feelings, etc. Was supposed to see a nutritionist but my ride never showed up so that didn't work out. I went to my favorite used bookstore and got some stuff. I love that place so much. I got this beautiful big hardcover book of Catholic Saints for $2. In perfect condition, it's normal sale price is almost $30. I always find awesome stuff there. They also sell some CDs (all $2) and DVDs ($3). I can't believe I've been in this neighborhood for 3 years and only just started going there this past month!

I had a lot of anxiety in the evening, but I ended up playing with my cats to distract myself and went to sleep for a couple hours (it's about 1:30am now) I'll go back to sleep later, just feel like reading for a bit.

It's strange being on winter break and not having to worry about assignments/deadlines etc lol I almost don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to hang out with a friend later in the day.

Hope everyone is doing okay

@TheSeaCat, so glad you're out of the hospital and doing well

I think school was probably affecting your sleep, I'm stressing about finals but got distracted and know until my finals I'll be stressed. Cats are a good stress reliever. Cat has been on my feet most of the night as has R's overly fluffy dog who really likes me and the cat apparently.

I love the smell of books; sadly about the only thing I read anymore is a textbook, here, or research for school. I personally can't wait for winter break. I hope you have fun with that friend.

I'm glad to be home; i've missed my cat; the couch and my bed. I'm ready to go back to work though.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Pdoc called. I wasnt supposed to stop trazodone! So im back on that and seroquel and cutting the last of the haldol out.

Have you tried taking very brief notes in your pdoc's office?
I have a few meds and I have a small piece of paper and make very quick notes when we are adjusting meds. Sometimes I enter the notes on my phone.
It works well for me. Just a thought.

I hope you are sleeping soundly.

WC

[Scooter9]

My older son arrived the other day. He works overseas and is back for the holidays. It's nice to have him back.

I'm feeling low but I'm living life.

Since I restarted my hobby I'm not watching as much TV and i work on my computer instead. I need to find a balance because I'm in front of a computer all day and then more when I get home. It's interesting stuff though.

[Blueberrybook]

So peeved at a person on NextDoor. They are blaming me for reporting suspicious activity on the part of their single working mother daughter (single working mother & hard life repeated probably 10 times). I told them on a PM I reported it because the activity this woman was doing as I jogged by looked weird & suspicious, like stealing packages from the front doors of houses and not moving her truck until I moved farther away and later zooming away as fast as possible down the road, which has a 30 mph speed limit. I have never in my life seen anyone drive that fast down that road. I told the man the behavior had looked suspicious, I would have reported anyone doing that type of activity, I didn't target his daughter or anything. I told him I was sorry about, removed the post about if from NextDoor (apparently not fast enough for him but I didn't look at NextDoor again until 4 PM; I'd made the post in the morning).

It is like this person is blaming me again and again for reporting the daughter, saying her life is hard, blah, blah, blah...I muted him, but he can still send me PMs. I am getting really, really angry now.

Sorry to not to be caught up on the posts here. This thing on NextDoor is just getting to me a lot. I told him it was over, let's drop it, but he still keeps sending PMs full of blame at me. Why can't he let it alone?

At this precise moment I'm taking it easy. I just ate lunch. Before lunch, I went to the grocery store and bread shop to pick up some things for general meals and...even more cookie-making.

This morning I made homemade marzipan, and blanched, skinned, and halved (vertically), a whole bunch of almonds for the cookies I plan to make. They are marzipan cookies, a German recipe called Bethmannchen cookies. Now that the above tasks are done, mixing the final dough and forming and baking the cookies should be somewhat easy and quick. They're easier cookies to make than many of the ones I've made this past seven days. I'll leave making the remaining harder cookie varieties for tomorrow, Friday, and/or this weekend.

I see my psychiatrist in about three hours. I need to wash my hair. It's looking pretty scraggly. I have been showering daily for a number of days because the cookie making has really been physically taxing, and made me sweat a lot.

[tecomsin]

Oh, the wonders of antipsychotic medications. My pdoc told me I didn't need to take Rexulti if I am also on Olanzapine 5 mg, so last night I dropped Rexulti and woke up numerous times at night although fell back asleep. Olanzapine has some side effects including tremor, and I wouldn't want to take it very long because of what it does to my blood sugar. I will try another night without Rexulti and see how it goes. I was able to fall back asleep. My son says that I am full of hatred and self pity and then apologizes the next day. We have a new routine that I don't try to stay awake to pick him up after 8 pm. If he's late, he's responsible for his own transportation. I won't drive after i've taken my nighttime meds. That has relieved the pressure valve so there is less conflict.

I can't deal with my son's hostility to me when it is getting late in the day and I just want to snuggle on the sofa watching internet tv. It seems that the sleep difficulties are common this time of year. My body wants to fall asleep when it gets dark, which is quite early here in Canada, but my son is coming home at 9:30 pm after work somedays.

So it is 5 mg Zyprexa and 50 mg lyrica tonight. I can also try to increase my Lyrica to 100. It is better I think not to be on more than one AP at a time if one can avoid it.