Update?

I know all I do on here usually is just complain about everything and all that. This post probably won't be any different.

I haven't been doing well. I'm up and down either day by day or like a week or so. So high and SO low. The basics and all of each one. I do so much manic and when I'm low I >>>>>>>>>>think about suicide a lot. I also self harm a lot<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The paranoia and usually just auditory hallucinations are there no matter what, all the time. Nothing stops them completely.

I'm also having a hard time because I'm not sure if my doctor is trying to help or is dismissing me. Last time I went I was saying my antidepressant wasn't helping at all and it was making me feel suicidal. I also express that my anti anxiety STILL DOESN'T WORK. I started seeing her months ago and she said that the anti anxiety I was on and the amount was not good so she was going to change it but it's been months and she hasn't. I know we usually have to change one thing at a time in case of side effects but I'm tired of waiting. In that appointment after I said all those things all she did was up my seroquel to 800 when I didn't even want to go past 400 to 600 the last visit! It doesn't eliminate my hallucinations completely and all I do is sleep.

I wrote a note out last time and it wasn't that long. I read it and it seemed like she was listening but after I was done she asked me in like 3 other different ways the same questions I answered in the note.

This time I want change. I want to just go in there and when she asks 'how have you been?' I say: Not well. My valium doesn't work and I have horrible anxiety and panic attacks. My antidepressant isn't working either. The amount of seroquel I'm on is too much, all I do is sleep now and it's no different from when I was taking 400mg.

Any advice or help? I'm so lost. I don't want to have to find another new doctor. I just want to feel better.

How often do you see her?

Hi!

It's good to hear from you!
So sorry you are feeling unwell!

I certainly wish she'd listen to your concerns.

Your explanation sounds logical to me.
I think your current plan is a good one.

I have the same question as MiguelsMom, above: How often do you see her?

Your suicidality and your overwhelming anxiety need attention!

So glad you are reaching out!

WC

I hope you are seeing your psychiatrist frequently. If not, I'd call her office and ask for a sooner appointment.

In my case, my Seroquel XR handles all of what you describe you're dealing with. Perhaps your psychiatrist is like mine in thinking Seroquel is the answer. But if isn't helping, then she needs to know that, too. I'd emphasize that in addition to complaining about its sedation.

Obviously something about your mix needs adjusting. I have questions I'd consider, but only if I was taking what you seem to be taking knowing my personal history. My history and needs may certainly not be yours, though.

Your psychiatrist really needs to give you the time and care you need. She needs to analyze your history better.

jtassar93, your plan sounds completely reasonable to me. I hope you are able to be seen soon and she really listens to your concerns.

Thanks all. I’ll go through with that plan on what and how to tell her. Even though it gives me such horrible anxiety to even think about doing it. I’m not one to speak up or take charge which is why I write notes and by the time I think of what I need to say (and how to word it, because my mind is a mess) my time is up and I have to leave.

To everyone asking how often I see her, it’s 4-6 usually. She’s the only doctor in the office and is only there 3 days a week and is incredibly busy. She used to want me back every 2 weeks but then things messed that up. I would either get there on the scheduled day and there would be no note of my appointment so I would have to wait for a random opening and have a 5 minute appointment or 2 weeks isn’t enough time for my mom to take off work to take me. Yes I’m in my 20’s and still don’t have a license. I have too much anxiety and no money to take those car things like Uber either so I always rely on my mom.

4-6 weeks I meant

I am glad your mom can take you.

I hope we hear more from you... anytime! It's a pleasure to have you posting, just so sorry you are still facing challenges. With each med change/dosage change, you are getting closer to finding the right meds.

you've been doing a good job of hanging in and trying hard to find stability.

Continue taking care!


WC

Thank you a ton. I want to try to start posting more because I think it helps. Whether people reply or not it’s a good outlet and I also have started to read others experiences. It would also get me doing something. Before I posted that I was glued to my bed for over a week just so depressed. I’ve been waiting so long for change. I know it won’t be 100% better but some better. I don’t even type out everything that’s going on with me. It’s SO much and I would end up typing forever. Sorry I kind of ranted there.

You are certainly very welcome to join in!

I don't see your post as a "rant" at all!

It's really tough to go through paralyzing depressions.
It must get very lonely?

I have them at times. I do find that posting here helps distract me from my own depression, etc.

I do hope to see you around!

WC