[Blueberrybook]

Does anyone here struggle with change in routine? I struggle with it a lot, especially around this time of year. There is my daughter’s birthday, birthday party, extended family Christmas, actual Christmas, tons of choir performances for my daughter, school evening activities (always on Thursday nights), class Christmas party. Then, even though I enjoy it, H and my daughter home for Christmas vacation for 2 weeks, meaning planning another meal (lunch). Lunch for 1 is easier than for 3, and I don’t care if I have sandwiches or canned soup with yogurt and fruit every day. I do pack them lunches on school days, but when they are home for lunch, they typically do not want sandwiches. I hate meal planning; it doesn’t even have to do with the ED, I just don’t like it, and they are both picky eaters too.

I am having a hard time with so much change in the daily schedule. I don’t know why it’s so hard even though I know these things are coming up in advance. It’s this way every year at this time.

I have a hard time coping with it. Anyone else? Anyone have a way to de-stress from this?

I often struggle with routine change, too. I'm very unfond of holidays, especially Christmas/New Years because it's preceded so closely with Thanksgiving (when we always go to Florida), and both my husband's birthday and name day. It's all just too much for me sometimes. This year my husband turned 60 and his celebrations seemed to last for 10 days. He initiated all of it. Not me. Too many late nights lately, including tonight. Yesterday I was so stressed I daydreamed about leaving my husband, letting him have my SSDI payments, the house, and all its contents, and me living in a tent somewhere. Steps from running away.

I hate vacations that require a lot of time out and about or a lot of walking and moving from place to place. It's way too much for me. Last May, we had a rigorous vacation in Portugal. I became manic with psychosis in the end. During, I was hypomanic with occasional panic attacks. At one point, I lost it and a Portuguese housekeeper became frightened by my panic attack and called the front desk because of me. I was surely a scary sight. My husband had been seeking ice because I injured my ankle. Very often I injure myself when I become manic either because of irritability (weak word) or other similar situations when I'm distracted or ramming all over the place (leading to trips and other clumsiness), or taking crazy risks, like running down steep hills that lead to dangerous falls or jumping down several steps. One time I fell so hard that I injured my knees and arms and got a black eye. Other times I've punched walls injuring my hand. I've been so violent that I've pulled knobs off doors. That led to injury, too.

Basically, my life has to now be very laid back, low stress, and predictable. Too much "extra" or out of the ordinary is usually destabilizing for me.

[Mopey]

I hate, hate, HATE changes to my routine. I find my routine comforting. The only way I have of coping with it when it happens, which is so typical this time of year, is to take it one or two minutes at a time and try not to get ahead of myself. Eventually, in this way, I get through. (((((HUGS))))))

[luvyrself]

I opt out of most holiday overload. Blueberrybook, all that is way too much for you. You and h could alternate going to daughters events. Of course that’s not the stereotypical scenario,but it really takes outside the box thinking for us to thrive during tough periods in our lives.

depends on the day.

rooteen means a lot to me, and though I'm not exactly filling each hour of the day with part of my rooteen, I do fill the morning and the evening up- so do laundry, have breakfast, have a drink in my santa mug, all at a certain time

I find that if i'm mannic, I don't give a ****

so what if I usually eat at 8 30 in the morning, I'll just eat at 11, 12, 1, not at all.... something...

if I'm in a depression and can't follow my rooteen to the exact time, I'll throw a tantrum- stamp my feet, shout, cuss under my breath, all sorts

baseline I'll just stand defiantly in the centre of the room until I can do what I need to do. if I have to stand their all day, I'll stand their all ****ing day

something else I might do if I'm baseline is walk up to someone, tell them to come back to what they are doing later, and take over myself- because it's my rooteen

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by luvyrself

I opt out of most holiday overload. Blueberrybook, all that is way too much for you. You and h could alternate going to daughters events. Of course that’s not the stereotypical scenario,but it really takes outside the box thinking for us to thrive during tough periods in our lives.

We only have one more choir event at the school on Thursday though it's hectic; it's a Christmas thing at my daughter's school, but we've gone every year as a family (though this has been the first years she has been in choir). They have crafts, cookies, the little kids sit on Santa's lap & take pictures, someone usually reads The Night Before Christmas before festivities start, but it runs until 8 PM, and my daughter gets homework in spelling (Spanish spelling, needing to know where to put the accent marks & the English translations), and H & I have all but forgotten our high school Spanish, so she needs to study. She's got science & math too usually as well as she's supposed to read 25 min. Luckily, she started the Harry Potter series and is now addicted to that so her reading goes easier. She reads at a 12th grade level, but she also needs a good book to read (one that interests her) or she reads very slowly and will not reach her 9 weeks reading goal, which upsets her.

I don't like homework put off, dinner put off, bath put off because of her noise sensitivity she will not blow dry her hair before bed, and I don't like her going to bed with wet hair because then it's impossible to deal with in the morning, and she gets very cranky about it (being a night owl and reading late into the night many nights, causing too little sleep though her hair is long and takes several hours to air dry), so mornings are rushed.

Then, I already promised the room mom I'd help with the class Christmas party on Dec. 20 since the mom came to the birthday party yesterday, stayed and chatted and is recovering from a horrible arm & wrist injury. Luckily, the kids have early dismissal at noon that day, and she said she has to talk to the teacher but thinks they'll want the moms there around 9 AM, so it's just 3 hours, and some of it is decorating as the whole school has a talent show and movie beforehand.

No way to get out of extended family Christmas, though I do have an aunt/uncle I'd rather not see because they cause drama every year. I do want to see my sister & nephews from the Dallas area as a drive from Houston to Dallas is not a drive one casually makes since it can take 4-6 hours and is getting more & more full of traffic nearly the entire way (so stressful driving).

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, Blueberrybook I can relate to your struggle. Routine is very comfortable and it's very hard to adapt to any changes. However I think it's inevitable. So we have to make a little effort and try anyway, and hope we can make it... I'm sure you, and everyone else here, can make it. Don't give up! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this