Does anyone else think meds were a mistake?

I tried weaning off Seroquel this past April because I was convinced that my pdoc had told me to. (I still kinda think she did!) After a few weeks I morphed into mania and finally was "caught" by my case manager. She talked to my pdoc who prescribed something like 450 mg of seroquel. It landed me flat on my back! Three hours of sleep in the day felt like 5 minutes! Ive since gone back down to 150. And now my Haldol is increased PRN because of scary vivid "intrusive thoughts". It has helped a lot but it makes me dozey. Even so, I have it in my purse just in case. If the increased Seroquel hadn't worked, my pdoc said, She would've sent me inpatient.

I definitely needed it to stop the psychosis I experienced. It is questionable as to whether or not I need to be medicated full time after I recovered. I've been on a very low AP dose for almost 10 months and my doctors want to see how I do without it. It is possible that the perfect storm of bad choices, PTSD and biological factors came together to cause me to experience a one time episode. It is also possible that I have a mental illness that will be cyclical. The only way to know for sure is to wean off the meds and see how I progress. I am a science experiment at the moment and nobody can tell me what the likely outcome will be. I am hopeful it all works out and that I won't need the meds, but I won't hesitate to return to them if I show symptoms again.

Yes. I wonder how much damage they have done to me. But I also wonder how much they have helped. It is so hard to say. I wish I could see alternative realities but I cant.

I know this has already been said, but for some, meds are absolutely necessary. I have no doubt I would be dead by now without them. My mania comes with intense recklessness, and I've almost died a couple of times when I stopped the meds. I am absolutely sure that meds have saved my life.

That said, if you don't need them, maybe you can taper off slowly and see what happens, or at least have that discussion with your pdoc.

I think they were a mistake every day. I also remember what I was like before. My choice is a bit fuzzy all the time, or periodic periods of not understanding anything at all as a result of hypomania or depression. It really is about higher cognitive functions, but I remember when I had a problem with booze and drugs I functioned just fine. I look at the lithium as being one cocktail in at all times and I feel better about it.