[Blueberrybook]

Sometimes, a lot of the time, actually, I feel like meds have been a blessing & a curse. They mostly keep me stable, but at the loss of my creativity, my writing, and my art, even coming up with simple storage solutions like I bought I new dish for the kitchen and don't know where to put it (galley kitchen in my house). H usually has to come up with the solution. Are these psych meds making me an idiot? On top of it, I am super forgetful, which I guess could be mixed BP, but you know the saying, "If my head wasn't attached to my body, I'd forget it." That's pretty much me. Especially today. Today the forgetfulness was so bad, jumping task to task, maybe that's mania, racing thoughts.

Though still I feel like my IQ has nose-dived. I was high school valedictorian, I graduated with one B and all A's with a B.S. in Microbiology, minor in chemistry, better grades than most pre-med students, and I went to a very large university. Got an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology, got a journal article published. Now, I can read my article and barely understand it despite the fact I did all the research for it and run and re-ran those experiments until it felt like I could do them in my sleep. If I try to read a biochemistry book, it might as well be Greek. Now I have days where I'm typing and can't even remember how to spell words like "such", and I have always been a good speller; not knowing how to spell "such" is really a low. My daughter could spell that in kindergarten.

Is is bipolar that is making me slow at times, the meds, a combo? It has been a nightmare lately (stress, maybe making it worse?)

[jaysmotogp]

I’m pretty new to this but i do know that when i used to be on gabapentin i always felt like a total moron. Since being off it, and now only being on remeron,wellbutrin, and lithium i feel back to normal( well intellectually)

I'm sorry you're feeling down about your loss of creativity and cognitive abilities. It could be meds. It could be the illness. It very well could be both. Do talk to your psychiatrist about these concerns.

At this time, I feel pretty good cognitively. I can't complain. Going off or reducing a couple medications I used to be on (with my psychiatrist's direction), helped quite a bit. Not all bipolar medications have affected me much cognitively, though. My current mix is pretty friendly in that respect.

My creativity varies. I believe changes are mood-related, for me. Or sometimes I lose some creative abilities for some things, but gain them for others. For example, for about one full year I was writing almost daily in my blog. There I wrote serious articles, prose poetry, short stories, story series, and other things. I was driven. Then writer's block set in. Then I really got into cooking and baking and recipe creation. Then nothing creative happened. Then I became immersed in philosophical thinking. Then a break. Lately, I'm not doing any of the above, but I've found myself to be particularly entertaining to myself. I've been acting a little nutty lately, but I love it. I've also started enjoying music again.

When I compare my current self to the young me, who could achieve so much, I don't feel I'm lower in IQ. I do, however, have a much more difficult time creating the same output. I burn out much quicker. My stress tolerance is much lower. I bounce back from episodes slower. Actually, I am slower physically. Part of that could be age and sedating meds. When I was young, I leaned heavily in the hypomanic/manic direction. That has shifted slightly with certain treatments. Nevertheless, I'm still speedier than my husband.

There were some years when I felt exactly like you describe. It changed/improved!

Well, they do slow down racing thoughts and "treat" grandiosity and other symptoms of mania that make me feel like a genius. I don't know if that's false IQ and on meds I'm returning to my average IQ or I'm lower than what my stable IQ would be without meds.
Before diagnosis and meds I was a math major, first semester I was in calc I and got an A. Next semester I took calc II I was on a bunch of meds after hospitalization including some sort of injection I failed the class. The professor sucked and calc II is harder than one (obviously), but I still blame the meds for doing poorly and the bipolar overall for dropping out.
I tried to go back to college, recently took a single philosophy course at the local community college and some days I didn't process a word my professor said and other days I understood everything and even felt he was going too slow or not going into enough details. I think that's more from just having good days and bad days though, but it makes it hard to figure out if my meds are making me more stupid than pre-treatment me or what.
They probably take the smart ones that "will rule the world" and convince us we're crazy so they can medicate and THEY can stay in control. I have a working theory that they intentionally cause eating disorders because they want to murder people and look like they're helping at the same time. Going off track here but I feel like someone should know so I'll keep it.

Short answer: yes.

[Blueberrybook]

Thanks. Lately, I seem to be at an all time low. Maybe it's the season. I've had a lot of stress. That's interesting about the gabapentin. I'm taking it for fibro, but I doubt it is doing a thing. Might try not taking it and see if I notice any difference with the fibro. I know Wellbutrin does a number on the vocabulary I have on hand, causing me to forget words, use not exactly the word I mean, or have to describe the object instead, which makes me talk in crazy sounding sentences.

On the one hand, yes, I am grateful not to be suicidal or self-harming or doing stupid stuff like driving my car as fast as possible (though being a Subaru Forester, it's not exactly the model racecar) or spending thousands of dollars we don't have on useless junk I won't ever use.

I don't know, it's weird. I suppose BP, all my struggles with mental illness have made me into who I am today. Sometimes, it has given me knowledge & insight I never would have had, but other times, I'm sick of it and would rather be the person I was on track to be before anorexia and bipolar and panic disorder. So frustrating.

[Guiness187055]

Lithium did that to me. Made me feel like a total moron. Now that I am off of it I feel much better.

[TheSeaCat]

I think it is the meds; I have been on some medication that just sucked the intelligence right out of me. Latuda especially; it was really hard trying to focus on anything with the Latuda if I didn't put forth all the effort I probably would be sitting at failing grades from that medication.

I feel much clearer on the Seroquel and Buspar; so I honestly do believe it is the medication that cause focusing issues. Hey I sometimes have issues remembering how to spell certain words to; I honestly think autocorection has made us dependent.

I know that Greek feeling; when I was moving I came across an old Information Technology book and it felt like Greek. At that point I feel like a boss anytime I can properly hook up a printer or fix the occasional Dragon Mic; when I used to be able to fix anything; now if something happens I am calling tech support.

[Victoria'smom]

I think it's the BP. Some days I can't understand a word of English. I get though it by nodding. I use to be really smart. I believe in kindling.

[Pookyl]

Like MM I believe in kindling. The longer the time between episodes the better my cognition.
I don’t think it’s my meds despite high dosages e.g. Lithium 1350mg.

*edit: forgot to say that I had a whole lot of cognitive testing done last year and it showed that despite the way I felt, that my cognition was unchanged since I got bipolar.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've talked to two different pdocs because I was so afraid I was developing dementia, and both of them said the same thing: my brain-fade is due to a combination of brain damage from repeated manic episodes and medications. I don't like it, but I can live with it. It explains a lot, and I do believe in the kindling theory.

I'm glad a few people here acknowledge the role of the illness (especially when bad or recovering from bad episodes) in issues like these. Though I can not deny that some medications can cause cognitive issues, so many people blame them for everything too much of the time, in my opinion.

[MickeyCheeky]

I believe it could be a combination of the meds you're taking and your own illness, Blueberrybook. If you're concerned that your meds may be affecting your cognitive abilities, I'd suggest to talk to your Pdoc about this and see how it goes from there. Sending many hugs to you

[Unrigged64072835]

I do think it’s a combo of things: meds, illness, and stress.

For me, not having as much stress was helpful. However, Trileptal can cause mental slowness, so that’s not helpful.

I just do what I can.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I've talked to two different pdocs because I was so afraid I was developing dementia, and both of them said the same thing: my brain-fade is due to a combination of brain damage from repeated manic episodes and medications. I don't like it, but I can live with it. It explains a lot, and I do believe in the kindling theory.

This too. I have been so afraid I'm getting early dementia a lot from the way my life is going. I have to look more into kindling. Bipolar just sucks especially now that it is making me feel stupid a lot of the time.

[Blue_Bird]

I've also been very worried about my memory and cognition. I feel like I come across as stupid in person now. I wasn't like that several years ago, I was quick and on the spot with things, now my mind is blank and I can watch a whole movie and forget a minute later what I had been doing and what the movie was even about. It scares me sometimes because I'm afraid of developing dementia when I'm older. I have no family history of it but it worries me. The good thing is I don't think my actual intelligence has been affected, I get A's in college and write great papers. It just takes me a lot longer to process things, my mind feels like something imploded in it and screwed up connections. I guess it could be a combo of meds, and psychosis, and maybe the time I got severe Lithium toxicity that put me in the ICU for a week affected my brain, Who knows

[still_crazy]

-sigh- i vote...meds. with the neuroleptics, there's "tardive dementia," demonstrable loss of IQ points and such. I don't know how common it is...seems to be more of an issue with the higher doses of the old school tranquilizers. thing is...that sort of dosing was common until fairly recently, and even now inpatients are often drugged to the gills for "rapid tranquilization" or whatever.

I do think there's ill effects of mania, psychosis, severe depression, too. to me, its like...deal with unmedicated stuff or deal with life, medicated. in between i guess is life, lightly medicated...which is what i'm now striving for, to whatever extent possible.

there's also individual susceptibility to consider. some people are more vulnerable to TD from a given tranquilizer than others. people with TD often have a loss of IQ points. then you have cases where the TD goes away, usually in people who can live without a neuroleptic (or can escape the shrink and get off the neuroleptic...).

so, i dont know. severe depression made me feel stupid. then, i was given involuntary electroshock (long, long story), and i really did lose IQ points, for a good, long while. now...

im obviously skeptical of pyschiatry, but i dont want to live a life of misery, either. oh...or end up in a hospital again. never.ever.again.

stress isn't kind to one's intellect, either. i read this study...people who are stressed from all angles do worse on standardized tests of cognitive abilities and such than those whose lives are more easy breezy. guess who's stressed out? AMERICA.

I hope things get better for you. :-)

[Blueberrybook]

I get worried about the dementia too because my paternal grandfather died of Alzheimer's, but he was in his 70s when he started getting symptoms, and I'm 40. Still worry about early onset. Ugh!

[RomanJames2014]

Medications really give me brain fog. The worst is the Lithium and the Anti-Psychotics that I am on like Wellbutrin.

They make some thoughts delayed or lag and that drives me so crazy. I feel less than.

[venusss]

Some meds to really have stupid as their side effect.


If it's not acceptable for you, try to find something else. Your life is not gonna get better for being in fog pernamently.