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#701
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I can't sleep. All the decisions about my dad and what happens when he dies (and what my siblings who don't speak to each other want) and I'm confused and overwhelmed. I'm going to see him Saturday. It will be 12 hours in the car for a few minutes with him but that seems like the right thing to do. Maybe he can hear.
There just isn't a suggested way to handle saying good-bye to your abusive parent while staying true to yourself.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, Daonnachd, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#702
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Quote:
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() beauflow, pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() ~Christina
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#703
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Quote:
I'll follow your advise with the bread. Contrary to you, that don't follow mine. FYI, I went to the eye butcher today, and he prescribes Arnica 30X, the one I use, pre and post op. Who would know. The roller is very mid century, however, there are several bread machines at the Goodwill. I'll get the less complicated I can find. And will substitute the peanut-butter- to-sleep thing for fresh bread. I need it too. I'm buying glutten free bread, and it costs an arm and an arse. It's supposed to help with my newfound arthritis. Thank you love, Cheers.
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]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
![]() Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#704
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I came home Sunday about 5 pm. My trip was great. I hadnt seen my friend in 10 years! Both flights were uneventful. A couple or maybe 3 days ago I started getting a sore throat and stuffed up nose. Tuesday night I felt very cold but i didnt have a thermometer. My friend brought me one. I took my temp and it was 102! Two days later Im much improved except that im a bit dizzy sometimes. Ive ordered some dvds and they should be arriving by the end of the month. First set arrives today.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Last edited by Moose72; Jan 17, 2019 at 02:11 PM. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() TheSeaCat
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#705
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So I just came back from the eye butcher. I'm gonna have an operation in my eyelids.
I hope he botches it and leaves me looking Sylvester Stallone now. I need money. And looks stopped being important a long time ago. Like a year now. It happens that I had 20/20 vision, until La Bruja started pestering me to get glasses. "You are squinting. Furthermore, you're separating the papers from your eyes." I still have 20/30, however I can't read a thing without glasses now. Thanks to La Bruja. And to me, for getting glasses in the first place. About three months ago, she started with the eyelids. I was perfectly fine. "You have no peripheral vision. Specially in your left eye". "You stumble into things, and you're going to have an accident". This has been part of her daily routine. "All right, I'm not paying attention to you this time. You almost left me blind with the glasses thing". Guess what, I can't hardly open my eyes now. I even chew with my eyes closed. All this in a process of less than three months. Sometimes it's bad to be married to a real witch. With strong spells. I'm seriously thinking of cancelling my insurance policies, where shes's the beneficiary. just in case. Today's visit was strictly to get money. Nothing else. Not even blood pressure test. The other girl that I saw before, so beautiful, so femenine, with such a great perfume, dissapeared. I was recieved by a blonde, with good manners, and nothing else. This doctor has a great hook with that first girl. And to think I shaved, did my eyebrows and nose. Wore my Rolex, my diamond ring, and a discreet chain. Spent a good deal of my Giorgio Armani perfume. My Bally shoes, my Panamenian linen embroided shirt. 100% combed wool pants. Silk underwear. Yeah, I'm an optimistic. Just to be hustled out of my money. We men are stupid that way. At least I am. I told La Bruja and she can't stop laughing still. Well, back to the operation. The butcher is supposed to cut the upper part of my eyelids, so my eyes remain normally open. We'll see. Literally. Cheers.
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]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
![]() Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#706
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I just got home yesterday from another hospital visit. This time it was only for seven days to deal with severe OCD issues. Pdoc put me on Cipralex, which is interesting because I have never handled AD well at all, but so far so good. Been on it for 5 days now.
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Bipolar 1 |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, wildflowerchild25
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#707
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My psych NP thought I wasn't handling the stress of financial situation well (I'm not) and put me on low dose haldol for anxiety. It's been interesting. I only have been on it for two doses, but it seems to be working like a charm. I seem to be less "crazed" in my energy and those I talk to say I seem less stressed. Here's hoping it continues to work like a charm.
As far as the financial/academic situation goes, I might have a bittersweet ending to my woes. I've just got to go and talk to the necessary people. Here's hoping on this one too!
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"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() ~Christina
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#708
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Glad you got some sleep !!!!! I got about 5 hours , not as much as I wanted but I’ll take it ! I finally got up and currently covered on a ton of blankets !
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu
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#709
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Glad you had a good time !!!! What DVD’s did you order ?
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#710
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Sorry you needed more IP , but if this Med is helpful then it’s all worth it!!! Glad your home ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() 99fairies
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#711
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So glad that Haldol is working , I’ve taken it a few times when push can to shove ! It works and dirt cheap to boot , sometime old school is the way to go. Hope finances get worked out ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() TheSeaCat
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#712
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Almost all the pleasure has drain out of life and i am back to just struggling to pass the time.
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![]() Nammu, Sliders, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() TheSeaCat
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#713
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I forgot to take my modafinil for 2 days now.
Not feeling any different. I'll remember tomorrow. Saw my pdoc, no changes in meds. Might try to lower Latuda in the spring.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in 2016. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#714
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Today was another lazy day...
Yesterday, I went to see the eye doctor, no problems there except that I can see better in my right eye better than my left. I picked out a frame for my glasses. They're pink, one of my favorite colors! I get to pick them up in a week hopefully, and hopefully it will help with the headaches I've been having. I also went and did a little shopping at Goodwill and had Firehouse Subs for dinner. It was a great day! |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123
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![]() Guiness187055, TheSeaCat, ~Christina
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#715
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Having a hard day. My head's really screwed up. The situation is complex, too. My wife is away so I'm taking care of our younger son alone. What's more, part of this stems from yesterday's conversation with my T and I feel awkward contacting her about how volatile I feel. That I may do something impetuous.
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>< |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#716
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Sorry your struggling , that feeling to me is one of the worse to suffer from. Things will improve, hopefully soon ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous41462, Sunflower123
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#717
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Sounds like a great day ... I love getting new glasses so much fun picking them out.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Sunflower123
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![]() MissDenim, TheSeaCat
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#718
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Sorry your still struggling. Please keep reaching out to your T for support and here also ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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![]() Daonnachd, TheSeaCat
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#719
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None of this is real. That shift wasn't real. This feels like a dream. I had to leave it early because I was too manic to function.
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I>/\\/ Dx: Bipolar I w/ mixed features, BPD, ADHD, Anxiety, Gender dysphoria, ASD |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Sliders, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#720
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Lol Three Lewis Black DVDs. Woot!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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![]() TheSeaCat, ~Christina
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#721
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Quote:
Have you tried to contact your pdoc?
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Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
![]() liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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![]() TheSeaCat
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#722
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That's the thing, I'm very strongly inclined to cancel all further appointments with her.
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>< |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#723
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I see her tomorrow. I should be fine. I'm scared. Everything is so vibrant. I feel wonderful but scared. I can't even. This is indescribable=
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I>/\\/ Dx: Bipolar I w/ mixed features, BPD, ADHD, Anxiety, Gender dysphoria, ASD |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, Guiness187055, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#724
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Doing pretty well. I had to take Valium to handle Christmas/Boxing Day/New Years and I had a couple of sui days a week or so ago but managed them well with PRN’s. My pdoc was quite the proud mama bear.
Sticky hot summery weather. What I really miss is beer (2yrs abstinent)
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Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, beauflow, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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![]() TheSeaCat, ~Christina
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#725
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Do you have access to prn’s if you need it?
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Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
![]() Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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