I left my pdoc a scathing voicemail today. I told him that he was a liar for giving me medication I didn't need (antipsychotic in specific) and that he was trying to give me dementia and destroy my grey brain matter. I said I don't have bipolar and why are you doing this to me

He said that I need to come in on Monday for an appt, so I agreed to the appt. I don't want to go. I don't trust him. But I knew if I didn't agree, he wouldn't talk to me.

I just wanted to talk over the phone, not in person. I'm normally not a very confrontational person, but he crossed the line. WAY crossed the line. I'm not taking an antipsychotic no matter what he says. I'm not going to be brain dead by age 30. Plus, I have work on Monday. I don't have time to waste by going to his appt.

Sorry. Just had to vent.

[tecomsin]

Every time I have started to have thoughts like those I end up in much worse shape than I was before. Some people lose insight when they get ill.

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I left my pdoc a scathing voicemail today. I told him that he was a liar for giving me medication I didn't need (antipsychotic in specific) and that he was trying to give me dementia and destroy my grey brain matter. I said I don't have bipolar and why are you doing this to me

He said that I need to come in on Monday for an appt, so I agreed to the appt. I don't want to go. I don't trust him. But I knew if I didn't agree, he wouldn't talk to me.

I just wanted to talk over the phone, not in person. I'm normally not a very confrontational person, but he crossed the line. WAY crossed the line. I'm not taking an antipsychotic no matter what he says. I'm not going to be brain dead by age 30. Plus, I have work on Monday. I don't have time to waste by going to his appt.

Sorry. Just had to vent.

Where did you hear that antipsy's will make you get dementia and go brain dead?

[Nola0250]

I take an antipsychotic. I don’t have dementia, and I’m not brain-dead.

[tecomsin]

There's some evidence to suggest that each manic episode does cumulative damage to the brain so there is also that to consider.

[Nammu]

I'm 60 have taken APs for years and am on one now, I'm not brain dead nor do I have dementia. You have many times on here talked about your delusional state and APs are what is used in America for that state.

[wiretwister]

I am not sure if you want advice or just venting ... it took me 5 years for my pdoc to completely convince me of my bp l ... I am currently on an ap ... abilify ... and we are slowly increasing the doseage ... he knows my " fear " of an ap so we talk about it at every appt ... I have the ability to just say no if I want too ... suprisingly it is working ... my T has shown me some of my actions that I never linked to my bp but are and they are improving ... an ap can be useful ... even helpful ...

my advice is give it a try ... even if it did all the bad things you fear it would take years of use to cause it ... nothing is going to happen over night ...

my advice ( if you want it ) is to just chill and give it a try ... apologize to your pdoc ... calmly explain your reasons ... but give him respect as he explains why he things you need it ... always your decision but I advice you to trust your pdoc ... at least for now ... I really don't think you will have any reason to be so concerned ... we are talking years not days ...

peace to you my friend ... may you find the best answer for you ... Tigger ..

Lots of good points from everyone who has responded to your post thus far.

I've been taking at least one antipsychotic (sometimes more) without a break for the last 15 years. My memory and information processing are just fine. I'm definitely not experiencing dementia.

Antipsychotics, like many different types of medications, have their side effects. Sometimes very obnoxious ones. I've experienced my share. Weight gain, sedation, hyperprolactinemia, akathisia, dystonia, increased chance of high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and high glucose levels. Sound bad? Yea, but not all antipsychotics caused these things. Some, only one or two. You sometimes have to see which one(s) does/do or don't. Some side effects go away. Others you can work to fight off.

I will say this. My life would be so much harder and I would be so much sicker if I didn't have antipsychotics. They keep me out of the hospital and sane! Lithium and/or anticonvulsants alone can't.

Right now I'm on an antipsychotic that is almost a perfect medication for me. My side effects on it are very minimal. In fact, perhaps nil. I say that because my cholesterol could be just as high at my age than without medications. I could definitely weigh what I weigh now without meds. Beyond that I'm fine.

You say you don't have bipolar disorder. Is that what your psychiatrist says? Or even if you don't have bipolar disorder, do you (or have you) had symptoms that an antipsychotic might best alleviate?

There are many people with major depressive disorder that do best on an antipsychotic, with or without an antidepressant. That is something a psychiatrist can determine. They have experience prescribing these meds. They have experience with patients with varying mental health situations and know they have unique needs.

[Aurelius710]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I left my pdoc a scathing voicemail today. I told him that he was a liar for giving me medication I didn't need (antipsychotic in specific) and that he was trying to give me dementia and destroy my grey brain matter. I said I don't have bipolar and why are you doing this to me

He said that I need to come in on Monday for an appt, so I agreed to the appt. I don't want to go. I don't trust him. But I knew if I didn't agree, he wouldn't talk to me.

I just wanted to talk over the phone, not in person. I'm normally not a very confrontational person, but he crossed the line. WAY crossed the line. I'm not taking an antipsychotic no matter what he says. I'm not going to be brain dead by age 30. Plus, I have work on Monday. I don't have time to waste by going to his appt.

Sorry. Just had to vent.

If you don't want to take an antipsychotic, you absolutely don't have to take an antipsychotic. Even if you're inpatient, you are under no obligation to take medication you don't want to.

With that said, why do you think your doctor is trying to kill you? What possible motivation would he have for personally making you "brain dead by age 30?"

You don't want to take an antipsychotic. That's fine. What's the alternative?

My advice, for what it's worth: Keep the appointment on Monday. Discuss alternatives and perhaps explore the possibility of short term therapy with an antipsychotic? That's what my doctor and I are exploring.

[skiguy18]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I left my pdoc a scathing voicemail today. I told him that he was a liar for giving me medication I didn't need (antipsychotic in specific) and that he was trying to give me dementia and destroy my grey brain matter. I said I don't have bipolar and why are you doing this to me

He said that I need to come in on Monday for an appt, so I agreed to the appt. I don't want to go. I don't trust him. But I knew if I didn't agree, he wouldn't talk to me.

I just wanted to talk over the phone, not in person. I'm normally not a very confrontational person, but he crossed the line. WAY crossed the line. I'm not taking an antipsychotic no matter what he says. I'm not going to be brain dead by age 30. Plus, I have work on Monday. I don't have time to waste by going to his appt.

Sorry. Just had to vent.

You sound like you very much need the apt and in the state your in the AP would def help you. Try to realize the dr is trying to help you.

[downandlonely]

I don't have bipolar, but I took Abilify (an atypical anti-psychotic) for a while to augment my anti-depressant. For a while, i felt similar to you. I was afraid to take it because someone had told me a horror story about a side effect it gave her. So for months I had the meds but didn't take them. When I finally took them, I immediately felt better and had no side effects whatsoever. I am very glad I took them. My psychiatrist was not trying to poison me. And I do not have dementia.

[Guiness187055]

Abilify has been a lifesaver for me. I get no side effects what so ever. I just get an improved quality of life.

[Wild Coyote]

Hey there, blue.

I hope you can meet with your pdoc either Monday or soon. he may be able to explain why he has prescribed the way he has done so. Our pdocs generally prescribe according to what we tell them about ourselves, our symptoms. Pdocs try to assist us in feeling better, functioning better.

If you are feeling misunderstood by him, I hope you will sort this out with him.

please take good care of yourself.

Thinking of you.

WC

Originally Posted by wiretwister

my advice is give it a try ... even if it did all the bad things you fear it would take years of use to cause it ... nothing is going to happen over night ...

my advice ( if you want it ) is to just chill and give it a try ... apologize to your pdoc ... calmly explain your reasons ... but give him respect as he explains why he things you need it ... always your decision but I advice you to trust your pdoc ... at least for now ... I really don't think you will have any reason to be so concerned ... we are talking years not days ...

peace to you my friend ... may you find the best answer for you ... Tigger ..

Thanks, Tigger.

I've been on antipsychotics since September 2015 -- that is, up until recently when I decided to stop taking them. Tried Latuda, Seroquel, Seroquel XR, Abilify, and Rexulti (the one currently prescribed to me). So, I've given a handful of them a try already (and have therefore noticed a decline in my intellectual capacity). Why I even tried them in the first place? well... I was continually brainwashed. My first therapist convinced me to see a psychiatrist and that's how it all got started.

The biggest problem is that I know I don't have any symptoms which need to be "alleviated" by an antipsychotic, so taking an antipsychotic is taking poison to me. I mean, consider someone with diabetes (type 1 or type 2). They take insulin injections to help regulate their blood sugar / insulin levels. But what were to happen if you didn't have diabetes and gave yourself an insulin injection? You'd poison yourself, of course. Same with antipsychotics when you don't have symptoms. You poison yourself, likely causing irreversible damage. But I do think that antipsychotics in general -- even for people with BP, Sz, and SzA -- are dangerous.

The reason I even "sought" help was that I had severe rage issues that I wanted to be treated -- with therapy, though, not psychiatry.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

You say you don't have bipolar disorder. Is that what your psychiatrist says? Or even if you don't have bipolar disorder, do you (or have you) had symptoms that an antipsychotic might best alleviate?

There are many people with major depressive disorder that do best on an antipsychotic, with or without an antidepressant. That is something a psychiatrist can determine. They have experience prescribing these meds. They have experience with patients with varying mental health situations and know they have unique needs.

My psychiatrist doesn't know me well since we haven't been working together for very long, so he's just going by whatever's written in my file. I think we've had a grand total of 4 appointments together, with this upcoming one being the 5th?

I know I don't have BP, though. The issue I have is severe rage attacks, not BP. I look at all of the BP symptoms, as described in the DSM 5, and I know they don't align with how I feel. I can't relate to any of the listed symptoms. So I think BP is an incorrect Dx -- a misdiagnosis for severe anger. I'm going to explain that in hopes my pdoc will understand where I'm coming from.

Antipsychotics do not alleviate my anger anyway. They do nothing but damage my brain since I don't need them.

[wiretwister]

" The reason I even "sought" help was that I had severe rage issues that I wanted to be treated -- with therapy, though, not psychiatry. " ...

same here ... but I believe in my case I needed the meds first to calm me down ... take the edge off so to speak ... now that I am calmer my T amd I seem to be making progress ... maybe someday I will drop the meds but for me I need them as a crutch ... more power to you if you can do it without them but for me it is my future at least for now ...

[Victoria'smom]

I was mis-diagnosed years ago with IED . What does your therapist think?

[bizi]

blue waht about your delusions and hallucinations and paranoia, these are classic hypo/mania signs and symptoms of bipolar, or schzaphrenia (sp?)....which is treated with an AP.
I am confused by your postings.
bizi

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by bizi

blue waht about your delusions and hallucinations and paranoia, these are classic hypo/mania signs and symptoms of bipolar, or schzaphrenia (sp?)....which is treated with an AP.
I am confused by your postings.
bizi

I also made in the past the mistake of thinking that if I wasn't having symptoms of psychosis (delusions and/or hallucinations) then I didn't need to be on antipsychotics. I paid a big price for this in terms of repeated forced hospitalizations and basically just blowing up what had been a life into bits and pieces that take a long, long time to reassemble.

Psychosis is not like diabetes. Some people go in and out of it. I had my armory of olanzapine to take if I started to have symptoms and have been in regular psychiatric care but I wasn't able to stay on top of the symptoms. They start to creep up in a way I start having paranoid thoughts and then am not able to make good decisions because of errors in my thinking.

So I relate to a lot of what you write blue in terms of regret.

[Wild Coyote]

I hope your meeting with your pdoc today goes well. I hope he explains why he prescribes the way he does so. I hope you can fully explain your many concerns.

We are here for you!

WC

[Blueberrybook]

Sounds like you need that meeting with your pdoc in person. I hope all goes well.

[bizi]

You are sounding more unstable.
Since you live alone, You have no one to help ground you.
I am afraid you are headed for an episode, rather it seems like you are in an episode.
bizi

[still_crazy]

they're tranquilizers. the long term effects can be horrendous. some people dervie benefits. me? i think im going to push for a very slow dosage reduction, w/ the prescriber on board.

women tend to be targeted by mental health, inc. now, of course...its any misfit, but women are still overrepresented in electroshock 'treatment,' for instance. :-(

therapists can be worse than shrinks. they're basically overpaid mind ****ers. i wish you well.