Good insight, bizi. You can do it!!

[bizi]

@Innerzone
Thanks for your support!
bizi

[bizi]

I feel very proud of myself.
Today after lunch I felt motivated to do some cleaning.
I swept all of the laminate floors with a broom then a swifter.
Can't believe there was so much cat hair!
Did spot cleaning, cat spit up and coffee spills
thru out the house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor and wet
swiftered it. Out side I shook 2 rugs, they were so dusty/dirty
there was a cloud of smoke out there!
I think I am done for the day.
Great start to cleaning my house!

I could never have the motivation while I was drinking...
it was all about drinking on sundays starting with
bloody marys sunday brunch.
Not today!
bizi

[bizi]

Lunch was amber jack fish and squash, rutabega, chard.
Work was light.
Had for dinner: hamburger, avocado, cheese and bacon.
and an arugula and brocoli salad with ceasar dressing.
After dinner I went to the gym tonight and walked 2.5 miles in 50 minutes and
used the hydro message bed as a reward for 10 minutes.
very happy about this.
eat less move more.
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

You're doing great!

[bizi]

Down 6.6 pounds in 11 days!
water weight I know,
but still fun to see.
bizi

[raspberrytorte]

You're doing a great job bizi! Keep it up.

[tecomsin]

Congrats to you, bizi on your decision to stop drinking. That's a life altering path you are choosing and I hope you have a safe journey to freedom from the addiction.

[bizi]

Excited! Hubby is taking me on a surprise trip this weekend. We leave in the morning driving somewhere....He said that we have reservations at a nice place so I said oh I need to bring a nice outfit. He said no, we will just be tourist. So curious where we are going!
Just wanted to let you know.
Have a great weekend.
Bizi

Have a nice time, bizi!

[Victoria'smom]

Have fun!

[Nammu]

Ooo yeah, do have fun.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Have fun!

[bizi]

Hubby accidentally told me where we are going to go,

to San Antonio TX for the river walk.

He had printed out beautiful pictures in a wonderful card,

(An early wedding anniversary trip).

It sounds like a lovely time except for the heat!

97degrees!!, and lots of walking.

There is a boat ride along the river so that is good.

We have dinner reservations at 7;30 tonight

at a fancy restaurant, so I am packing a

dress that barely fits me....I really look pregnant...sigh

Hopefully, we will leave this morning at 8am.

Unfortunately, I did not sleep last night...
I blame the decrease in klonipin and thinking about our trip.

Finally got out of bed at 3:30am...and am drinking some coffee.

So, have plenty of time to get ready and finish

packing all of my toiletry items which takes me a long time.

Took a much needed shower last night so that is done.

I will hopefully sleep in the car, it should take about

6 hours to get there. We live in Lafayette Louisiana.

Hubby is driving his car the whole way as we won't

be taking turns because I can't shift into 6th gear.

So that will be hard on him.

I have 2 new creams to apply to my face

from the dermatologist for my rosacea flare up.
I all ready have a lengthy skin care routine.

Supposed to wear sunscreen and a wide

brim hat when out doors for any length of time.

Will bring mine along, I would not call it a such more like a

medium size one.

Somewhere in the bedroom is vera bradly duffle

bag that would be perfect to pack up every thing.
I have time to find it as it is in the spare bedroom and
I won't wake Jeff up.

Onto my 2nd cup of coffee.

My eyes are dry and itchy.
I am tired, hoping to sleep in the car.

Have a great weekend and will post a report when we get back.
Bizi

[bizi]

Had a great time.
It took us 7 hours to get to san antonio.

Our hotel was very nice and right on the river walk.
We saw the alamo,at 7;30 Had a fancy dinner at Bliss.
It was delicious!

We had these great baked oysters and some salad caprise, mozerella tomatoes and basil. And gaspacho, We shared everything. I had baked sea bass. Hubby had the scallops which he loved. WE had walked there but it was so hot...we took an uber back to the hotel.
next day We took a boat ride up to the art museum we spent a long time there. for lunch we tried something different. fried snapper throats. We picked out the meat and they came with 2 dipping sauces. They were delicious. That night there was a light show that displayed on the church.
They had chairs set up so we could sit and watch the show. It was very well done and we enjoyed it very much so.
Walking along the river walk was fun and busy....lots of people milling about at restaurants, bars. WE ended up eating at a place called casa rio. It was very good. WE sat indoors as it was still so hot out.
The next day we had breakfast at the hotel and then decided that we were going to go to these caverns(caves). So we drove about 30 minutes away and found out there were 2 different tours to take a total of 3 hours... So we decided to do them both even though that meant getting on the rode late. WE probaly won't be going back there....

The caves were really nice with stellagtights and mites.The tours were informative and the last one was rather strenuous I was the last one to walk up the stairs on the way out.
We got on the road around 4, jeff drove the whole way there and back because I can't drive his car. It is a 6 speed and I could not put it in to 6th gear! We stopped along the way at a texas road house and had dinner. Got back on the road and it started to rain. Road construction and rain and low visabilty very scary and stressful.

We got home around 1;30am, bed by 2.
My alarm went off at 8;30 this morning and I got up and canceled my 10am and went back to bed got up at 1130am got ready and went to lunch with jeff at sandras.
made it to my 1pm, had to stop by home to refill my chemicals, I should always check to see if I need anything before leaving the house.
Jeff made a good dinner.
Jeff still has a bad cough and won't go to a walk in clinic. This has been going on for a long time. He is so stubborn.

anyway it was a great weekend.
loved the surprise trip!
Bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

so glad you had a nice trip!

[bizi]

Drinking mikes hard lemonade black cherry

after going to an AA meeting, how f****** up is that?

bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

It's ok. Tomorrow is a new day and you'll start over.

[Sunflower123]

Don’t beat yourself up. Progress isn’t always or even usually linear.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( Bizi )))))))))

[bizi]

Have been awake most of the night....sigh
Coffee sounded better than tossing and turning so got up.
I have some paperwork to do as well as a shower.

I have to work today...leave the house at 9am to go out of town for a new client.
Will come home after that and go to lunch with jeff for gumbo. Then after lunch go out of town the other direction for 2 more clients.

Got on the scale just now 189.7...very depressing.
We are watching downton abby again...love the series.
I have been drinking so much I think that is why I can't sleep for days now.
Need to stop!

bizi

[bizi]

I have been eating and drinking so much that I have had major heart burn and it has kept me up the past few nights wanting to throw up it was so bad.
Hardly got any sleep last night, crazy today.
I am not going to drink anymore.
I started taking nexium today but that can take up to 4 days to work so I am chewing on tums and gaviscon and they are helping. I ate such a big lunch and then drank coffee and got heart burn right away.....It is finally becoming clear that I have a problem with this now when I did not before...so I don't know what is different. Maybe because it am 56 years old????
bizi

I decided to go the zantac route instead of the nexium which has some warnings/lawsuits going on. That is what jeff takes. He only takes it in the morning. I would probably take it twice a day.
I took my first dose before dinner and then take it before lunch.
Ate dinner a reasonable amount. 6 oz of salmon and half cup of brussel sprouts and half a cup of beets. I am not overly full but satisfied. This is how we ordinarily eat dinner. I have huge lunches....need to tell them to give me smaller portions.....I promise I won't bore you with any more details or followup info.

Since I decided to take the medicine...
it should be a no brainer now/non-issue.
bizi

[bizi]

Woke up multiple times last night but slept off

and on so I feel rested today, finally.
Restarted the zyprexa and I think that is what

allowed me some sleep. (plus I did not over eat nor did I drink)

I had hoped that the melatonin would

have helped me....and hoped that the

benadryl would have been enough....but it was not.
My rosacea is better. Think I will go back to using

my benzol peroxide wash/product, instead of the

black seaweed soap, which I think is too drying.
I am taking antibiotics, 2 facial creams for mites

which can be the cause of my rosacea outbreak.

Yuck!
Need to do laundry today, just one load...my scrubs.
We will go to the hub city diner for brunch in a bit...
need to get going.
bizi

[bizi]

I have not had any heartburn since 2 days ago, I was up all night with heart burn friday night, felt like I was going to throw up.
I restarted the zyprexa last night and slept pretty good last night.
Klonipin taper is almost done.
Wonder if my sleep was off still due to that?
I am down to .125mg for the next 3 days then done.
I was fooling myself thinking that the zyprexa was contributing to the weight gain.
But the truth of the matter is that my drinking was always contributing to my weight gain. And has been the reason for my 50 pound weight gain over the past 4 years. I am really thinking I am done drinking.....time will tell of course....see how determined that I am. We leave on vacation in one week. WE will be gone for 2 weeks.

I was able to go to the gym tonight and walked a 5k=3.1 miles in about an hour. I was holding on for dear life but still more movement is better than none.
Came home and watched an episode of downton abby.
Now getting ready for bed I have an earlier appointment at 9 so I need to set the alarm for 7:30am and get up, no snoozing either.
I read that I should not be using soap on my face so will throw out the bar that I have been using and go back to my benzol peroxide cleanser that I used to use, my face is still really red and the bumps are fewer already.
I am taking doxycyclin antibiotic. and 2 facial creams. The antibiotic can't be taken with calcium so am taking that at night now.
I have an arsenal of products that I am using, it took a whole bag to carry them when we went to TX.
I need to fill my pill boxes for the 2 weeks but don't have enough to do that...the refills won't come due until the 28th so will have to wait until then before I can fill the boxes. That always takes a while.
I told my sister how hard it was for me to leave for 2 weeks...not sure she believes me.

bizi

[~Christina]

Coming off a Benzo can also contribute to heartburn.