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#1
Jun 26, 2019, 05:00 AM
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It’s been 2 years yesterday since the woman from PC I brought into my home committed suicide which has me now dealing with more PTSD, I already had enough thanks to an “ uncle”
I will forever have times when I am triggered. Sometimes I simply can not watch the majority of movies because of the violence and I have jumped up running out of the room and dive into bed under my covers shaking before my husband in a mad rush gets it turned off. It’s been a rough bunch of days for me... my mind has played numerous tricks on me , I’m actually smelling and hearing things that occurred. I go outside and yes it’s warm but it feels blistering hot like it was that day in Florida when we were kept outside for nearly 8 hours. I have done so much work in Therapy about it all, and yes I am better than I was about it all. But this will always effect me to varying degrees. I again hope that like last year... getting that date over with will allow me some days and weeks when I don’t even think about it or get triggered.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
 Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Anonymous48850, AspiringAuthor, BipolaRNurse, bizi, Cornucopia, Daonnachd, fern46, Fuzzybear, Gabyunbound, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, lacerta, ladyconfused, LadyShadow, lightly toasted, luvyrself, MickeyCheeky, Misery Business, Nammu, rwwff, seesaw, Sunflower123, tecomsin, TheSeaCat, TunedOut, unaluna, Unrigged64072835, Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25, wiretwister, yellow_fleurs
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 bizi, MickeyCheeky, Nammu, RainyDay107, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wiretwister
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#2
Jun 26, 2019, 06:36 AM
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I am so very sorry for what you have been through.
 It often feels like no good deed goes unpunished.  I am sure you were a great friend to her and you were trying to help. PTSD is tough to deal with. It can be horrible. I hope you can find some peace of mind. I am here for you.  Much Love ~ 
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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| bizi, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
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| bizi, fern46, MickeyCheeky, RainyDay107, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#3
Jun 26, 2019, 06:44 AM
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I am so sorry you are going through this. You opened your home and your heart only to have it shattered and that simply isn't fair. I do imagine the woman you sheltered was benefited by having a loving home to be in before she decided to end her life. Everyone deserves to be cared for and you showed your huge heart. That is inspiring to me even though it all ended so sadly. I'm hoping you are able to find peace again soon.
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| bizi, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, BipolaRNurse, lacerta, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#4
Jun 26, 2019, 06:57 AM
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I'm so sorry for all you've been through!
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#5
Jun 26, 2019, 07:48 AM
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Im so sorry. I cant believe that was ever their plan, to leave you with this burden, in order to relieve their own pain.
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#6
Jun 26, 2019, 07:59 AM
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Hi Christina, your story is so unbelievably sad. It's also a caution about online relationships. You were kind, generous and open with this person and have been left with such a heavy burden due to your contact with them. I'm really left aghast by this story. It's horrible.
I don't know about ptsd flashbacks but they sound tough to cope with. I am so grateful for the help and understanding you have given me on this forum. I wish you healing and comfort.
__________________
BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
| bizi, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
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| AspiringAuthor, MickeyCheeky, RainyDay107, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#7
Jun 26, 2019, 08:09 AM
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I'm so sorry you've been through ALL of this, ~Christina!
I admire your determination and your strength. Not to mention your kindness and generosity. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that. Yet you're still here helping out SO many people! That's truly admirable. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're here and I'm REALLY HAPPY you're getting the help you need and deserve. Hopefully this day will pass through without problems. We're here for you if you need ANY kind of support and we're here to give back to you ALL the help you've given us throught the years! You know that is true!  Please stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself! Keep us updated on your situation if you can! We all DO care about you! THAT'S A PROMISE! Wish you the best of luck in BOTH your healing and your life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, ~Christina, and to ALL the people you love and who love you! 
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| Sunflower123
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| AspiringAuthor, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#8
Jun 26, 2019, 11:27 AM
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__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#9
Jun 26, 2019, 12:09 PM
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I have no words. Just know that if you ever need to just rant or sit in silence I'll be there
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#10
Jun 26, 2019, 01:43 PM
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I am so sorry that has happened to you. Try to keep yourself bust, which IMO will help to focus on something more productive. But then at this time this may not work for you. You are a top notch person here at PsychCentral!
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Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#11
Jun 26, 2019, 05:15 PM
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if you ever need or want to talk , you have only to ask , I will always be here for you ...
she just had too much on her plate , was not then or now your fault , you reached out to a wounded soul and I admire you for that , our best intentions do not always work out the way we want or expect , but such is life , just be youself , this too will pass as all things do ... no one ever said it would be easy , but your tough , I believe in you , I know you will be ok ... |
| bizi, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#12
Jun 26, 2019, 05:49 PM
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Hi, Christina. I am thinking of you.
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| bizi, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| bizi, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#13
Jun 26, 2019, 06:17 PM
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I’m so sorry you went through that and are still suffering the fall out to this day. I’m here for you as are many others on PC. Thinking of you.
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| bizi, MickeyCheeky, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#14
Jun 26, 2019, 06:36 PM
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I’m sorry for all that you have been through. Hugs, cookies, and love to you.
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#15
Jun 26, 2019, 07:36 PM
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I’m very sorry you experienced this. Time is the great healer and I hope in time you feel better.
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, unaluna, ~Christina
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#16
Jun 26, 2019, 09:27 PM
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Thank you for the wonderful support and kind words. I can’t explain just how much it means and it is helping me through such a difficult time
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| AspiringAuthor, bizi, fern46, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Wild Coyote, wiretwister
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| AspiringAuthor, bizi, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#17
Jun 26, 2019, 09:50 PM
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Quote:
I apologize i didnt realize.
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#18
Jun 26, 2019, 10:06 PM
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I did not know about what happened - was not on this board two years ago. Respect...
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#19
Jun 26, 2019, 10:08 PM
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Unaluna, yes you knew her. I’m glad my stepping in gave her almost 2 years more of a very enjoyable life.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| BipolaRNurse, bizi, MickeyCheeky, Nammu, Sunflower123, unaluna, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, BipolaRNurse, bizi, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, unaluna, Wild Coyote
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#20
Jun 27, 2019, 01:21 AM
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What an awful experience to go through. Thank you for sticking around. I think I would’ve walked away from PC in your shoes.
__________________
Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, tecomsin, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#21
Jun 27, 2019, 06:56 AM
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Imagine us all holding hands, giving each other strength. I find that when others, even those closest to me, aren’t there for me, that you and the others here are. So hold tight, we’re always here for you. Enormous hug.
__________________
Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, fern46, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#22
Jun 27, 2019, 05:13 PM
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I am sorry beyond words for what happened to you, Christina...
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#23
Jun 27, 2019, 07:52 PM
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What an unbelievably traumatic thing to go through. I’m so sorry to hear you have/and still are suffered this way. PTSD can be all consuming. I sincerely hope this anniversary doesn’t trigger things too bad and that you can find some kind of peace again soon.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#24
Jun 27, 2019, 09:07 PM
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I am so sorry ~Christina That was an amazing thing for you to do; and I am so sorry that happened.
__________________
Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| AspiringAuthor, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#25
Jun 28, 2019, 12:40 PM
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We are always here for you Christina, just like you have been for us numerous times. I know what you are going through is impossibly hard but you are nothing if not a fighter and you will get through this. We love you! Keep working in therapy.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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