It’s been 2 years yesterday

It’s been 2 years yesterday since the woman from PC I brought into my home committed suicide which has me now dealing with more PTSD, I already had enough thanks to an “ uncle”

I will forever have times when I am triggered. Sometimes I simply can not watch the majority of movies because of the violence and I have jumped up running out of the room and dive into bed under my covers shaking before my husband in a mad rush gets it turned off.

It’s been a rough bunch of days for me... my mind has played numerous tricks on me , I’m actually smelling and hearing things that occurred. I go outside and yes it’s warm but it feels blistering hot like it was that day in Florida when we were kept outside for nearly 8 hours.

I have done so much work in Therapy about it all, and yes I am better than I was about it all. But this will always effect me to varying degrees.

I again hope that like last year... getting that date over with will allow me some days and weeks when I don’t even think about it or get triggered.

I am so very sorry for what you have been through.

It often feels like no good deed goes unpunished.

I am sure you were a great friend to her and you were trying to help.

PTSD is tough to deal with. It can be horrible.

I hope you can find some peace of mind.

I am here for you.

Much Love ~

I am so sorry you are going through this. You opened your home and your heart only to have it shattered and that simply isn't fair. I do imagine the woman you sheltered was benefited by having a loving home to be in before she decided to end her life. Everyone deserves to be cared for and you showed your huge heart. That is inspiring to me even though it all ended so sadly. I'm hoping you are able to find peace again soon.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through!

Im so sorry. I cant believe that was ever their plan, to leave you with this burden, in order to relieve their own pain.

Hi Christina, your story is so unbelievably sad. It's also a caution about online relationships. You were kind, generous and open with this person and have been left with such a heavy burden due to your contact with them. I'm really left aghast by this story. It's horrible.

I don't know about ptsd flashbacks but they sound tough to cope with. I am so grateful for the help and understanding you have given me on this forum. I wish you healing and comfort.

I'm so sorry you've been through ALL of this, ~Christina! I admire your determination and your strength. Not to mention your kindness and generosity. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that. Yet you're still here helping out SO many people! That's truly admirable. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're here and I'm REALLY HAPPY you're getting the help you need and deserve. Hopefully this day will pass through without problems. We're here for you if you need ANY kind of support and we're here to give back to you ALL the help you've given us throught the years! You know that is true! Please stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself! Keep us updated on your situation if you can! We all DO care about you! THAT'S A PROMISE! Wish you the best of luck in BOTH your healing and your life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, ~Christina, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!

I have no words. Just know that if you ever need to just rant or sit in silence I'll be there

I am so sorry that has happened to you. Try to keep yourself bust, which IMO will help to focus on something more productive. But then at this time this may not work for you. You are a top notch person here at PsychCentral!

if you ever need or want to talk , you have only to ask , I will always be here for you ...

she just had too much on her plate , was not then or now your fault ,

you reached out to a wounded soul and I admire you for that , our best intentions do not always work out the way we want or expect , but such is life ,

just be youself , this too will pass as all things do ... no one ever said it would be easy , but your tough , I believe in you , I know you will be ok ...

Hi, Christina. I am thinking of you.

I’m so sorry you went through that and are still suffering the fall out to this day. I’m here for you as are many others on PC. Thinking of you.

I’m sorry for all that you have been through. Hugs, cookies, and love to you.

I’m very sorry you experienced this. Time is the great healer and I hope in time you feel better.

Thank you for the wonderful support and kind words. I can’t explain just how much it means and it is helping me through such a difficult time

You took care of our girl for us. I remember how happy she was about that. I was even jealous. Everybody loved her so much. But then suddenly we were all outside, waiting, wondering. Thank you for bringing us back inside with you. It means a lot to me, to my memory of her, her love for you, and this explains why youve been kinda lying low the past coupla years. Well, respect, dearest Christina I apologize i didnt realize.

I did not know about what happened - was not on this board two years ago. Respect...

Unaluna, yes you knew her. I’m glad my stepping in gave her almost 2 years more of a very enjoyable life.

What an awful experience to go through. Thank you for sticking around. I think I would’ve walked away from PC in your shoes.

Imagine us all holding hands, giving each other strength. I find that when others, even those closest to me, aren’t there for me, that you and the others here are. So hold tight, we’re always here for you. Enormous hug.

I am sorry beyond words for what happened to you, Christina...

What an unbelievably traumatic thing to go through. I’m so sorry to hear you have/and still are suffered this way. PTSD can be all consuming. I sincerely hope this anniversary doesn’t trigger things too bad and that you can find some kind of peace again soon.

I am so sorry ~Christina

That was an amazing thing for you to do; and I am so sorry that happened.

We are always here for you Christina, just like you have been for us numerous times. I know what you are going through is impossibly hard but you are nothing if not a fighter and you will get through this. We love you! Keep working in therapy.