[Bipolarchic14]

I am so easily set off by people. I don’t mean fights with family members and friends. I am close to my family. I just mean in general. Going to the grocery store or drug store can literally ruin my day. I have lost my cool with just about every place I frequent in my town. If a store is chaotic I can’t stay. I leave without my stuff. I just don’t know what to do. I started taking medication and it has started to work but I went out today and it left me feeling hopeless all over again. I am wondering if others deal with the same issues.

[Gabyunbound]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this: it must be frustrating and even scary.

I've always been of the mind that there are no common traits amongst people with Bipolar Disorder, except those -though these can vary widely- experienced during a BP episode. When you're not in an episode -when you're at your baseline- you're just you, with all of one's characteristics, flaws, strengths, and just one's personality in general, which, of course, varies immeasurably.

I think this is one of the reasons why therapy is so important: where it can help in coping with and recovering from episodes, really medications are the mainstay for treating BP. Whereas, as far as everything else, therapy can help with insight, coping skills, and other things, things that stand apart from BP episodes.

Is it that you panic (and/or become explosive) in situations where there are a lot of people? In any case, this sounds really challenging, and my hope would be that therapy would help. What you're going through sounds awful for you and I wish you the best of luck.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

I'm sorry you're experiencing this: it must be frustrating and even scary.

I've always been of the mind that there are no common traits amongst people with Bipolar Disorder, except those -though these can vary widely- experienced during a BP episode. When you're not in an episode -when you're at your baseline- you're just you, with all of one's characteristics, flaws, strengths, and just one's personality in general, which, of course, varies immeasurably.

I think this is one of the reasons why therapy is so important: where it can help in coping with and recovering from episodes, really medications are the mainstay for treating BP. Whereas, as far as everything else, therapy can help with insight, coping skills, and other things, things that stand apart from BP episodes.

Is it that you panic (and/or become explosive) in situations where there are a lot of people? In any case, this sounds really challenging, and my hope would be that therapy would help. What you're going through sounds awful for you and I wish you the best of luck.

I try to leave before the rage episode happens but that doesn’t always work. Even then I will still be angry and I will have trouble letting go of it. By leaving I’m not subjecting other people to it. They don’t deserve to be treated poorly because of my impatience. I do go to therapy and my therapist thinks it’s related to anxiety. The outpatient program I was in as well as my therapist has given me tools to tolerate this more, But sometimes I get so upset that the tools go out the window.

[yellow_fleurs]

Bipolarchic, I do not experience this usually, but do when I am having general issues with irritability like when I had a mixed episode or when hormones get involved, or if I am very anxious. Does it seem to happen more when you are anxious, too? I see you mentioned your therapist thinks it's related.

[Bipolarchic14]

I do think it’s worse when I’m in a mixed episode, which I am. I thought about it before and I think it can be anxiety related as well. It definitely does increase when I’m in a mixed episode. My tolerance and patience towards everything goes down during that time. The TV being turned on is enough to set me off, literally. A couple of weeks ago I became so enraged with a client at work that I had to set the phone down and asked somebody else to come over and take the call. Literally everything bothers me and it’s so overwhelming.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Bipolarchic14 I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. I'm not sure about Bipolar, but I do believe Depression can make you feel more irritable as a person. I also agree with your therapist and with yellow_fleurs that it may be Anxiety. After all, you've mentioned that this happens in large crowds. I also agree with Gabyunbound. We're all different, so perhaps this is just one of your personality traits. I'm glad you have some coping skills that you can use. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I do think it’s worse when I’m in a mixed episode, which I am. I thought about it before and I think it can be anxiety related as well. It definitely does increase when I’m in a mixed episode. My tolerance and patience towards everything goes down during that time. The TV being turned on is enough to set me off, literally. A couple of weeks ago I became so enraged with a client at work that I had to set the phone down and asked somebody else to come over and take the call. Literally everything bothers me and it’s so overwhelming.

I’m like this in a mixed episode and find that I’m more at peace if I isolate myself. In any other type of episode I’m totally different.

Yes. I feel it as well.

[~Christina]

When I am mixed everything including to sun is just too loud and grate on me. Instead of projecting towards others I internalize it all that for me can be very self destructive.

I agree maybe your anxiety is so great that you can come unglued ? Maybe something to focus on in T ?

[FriendlyJoe]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

I am so easily set off by people. I don’t mean fights with family members and friends. I am close to my family. I just mean in general. Going to the grocery store or drug store can literally ruin my day. I have lost my cool with just about every place I frequent in my town. If a store is chaotic I can’t stay. I leave without my stuff. I just don’t know what to do. I started taking medication and it has started to work but I went out today and it left me feeling hopeless all over again. I am wondering if others deal with the same issues.

You just described who I am. I've learned to tolerate people in the workplace by faking it like I'm a happy nice person. My best friend and I do this so we make it through difficult situations and not flip out.

As for the family part well there's still fights and always will be. I'm not mean I just know I'm right and the argument just escalates from there.

Theres multiple things that contributes to my low tolerance towards people. After work I'm drained from keeping it together from spending my time fixing issues and training people to do their job. It exhausting revisiting the same issue again and again. I hate wasting my time and I enjoy living in an efficient environment with other productive people. So when I'm not at work my tolerance is very low and I dont have time or energy to deal with more BS.

Meds only helps and it requires a lot of work on my end. I can't tell much of a difference between being on meds vs being off meds.

You're not alone

[Jester's Rags]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

When I am mixed everything including to sun is just too loud and grate on me. Instead of projecting towards others I internalize it all that for me can be very self destructive.

I agree maybe your anxiety is so great that you can come unglued ? Maybe something to focus on in T ?

"sun is just too loud" I get that completely. For me, sometimes even gravity pisses me off. I sometimes get to the point of not being able to hold it in too. I'm embarrassed after the fact, but in the moment, Heaven help whoever gets in my way. Or brushes past me. Or looks in my direction. Or exists.

I believe in my case, it's largely anxiety related. Will someone pull out in front of me at the intersection. Will someone take 'my' parking spot. What if someone bumps in to me. etc.
Anxiety that any of a thousand things I'm thinking in my head may happen. Anxiety from how I may deal with it.

I understand, Bipolarchic! I've definitely had many experiences like what you describe. A lot of it had to do with my bipolar disorder, but some of it was also me. I remember during irritable hypomanias, full blown manias, and also mixed states always feeling frustrated with everything and many people. I have been extremely assertive and sometimes even agressive in my life because of bipolar disorder, my life's challenges and frustrations. Perhaps even modeling from my family members played a part.

I could really tell some stories about this, but I could also tell a few about tolerating and running away from bullies, too.

As I've aged, become more balanced mood-wise, experienced many life lessons, and ultimately became more understanding and compassionate, my tolerance has increased. That doesn't mean I don't occasionally get pissed off at things. I don't like seeing injustice or people putting others in danger, but I understand they do it for reasons I don't fully understand. They may be unwell. They may be misguided.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

When I am mixed everything including to sun is just too loud and grate on me. Instead of projecting towards others I internalize it all that for me can be very self destructive.

I agree maybe your anxiety is so great that you can come unglued ? Maybe something to focus on in T ?

My therapist and I have been working on it but The homework she gives me is pure torture. It’s like going into Target during the busiest time of the week.

[~Christina]

I fully understand

[sarahsweets]

I get real fired up about stupid stuff but I never act out on it to those involved and deflect it with sarcasm and humor by venting to my friends or husband.

[PsychoPhil]

It's one of my main challenges at work to not act it out on others during crappy periods. Noise cancelling headphones are a miracle weapon, even if I'm then switching music videos all day.

The other day I was totally desperate walking behind a smoker with a friend. Normally I just run a couple of steps to get ahead of the smoke, but of course that would have come across as strange to my friend. Instead, I kept exhaling trying to dodge plumes and failed to answer questions in a timely manner. Of course no one understands how something as trivial could possibly be so upsetting for me.

[pirilin]

Going to the supermarket or grocery store can ruin someone else's day.
The best part is people don't understand what I say. Or why.
Sometimes I don't either. Hahaha!!!.

Cheers.

Originally Posted by Jester's Rags

For me, sometimes even gravity pisses me off.

Thanks for the laugh. SO true!

I can very much relate, though it's usually mixed episode related for me. I also used to have a lot of "issues" driving, but now I take transit. Road rage reduced 100%. That helped beyond the road too, I think, because one would feed on the other.

As mentioned above, therapy is very useful for this, but I'm also inclined to mention that it feels like I was less pissy after I went on gabapentin. Possibly coincidence or perception, but I'll mention it for whatever it's worth...

Also, all hail ipod. It gets me through irritants like shopping. Off in my own world....

[IssaColdWorld]

Yes, absolutely.

[sarahsweets]

Lets be real though... sometimes it feels good to get fired up...

[Jester's Rags]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Lets be real though... sometimes it feels good to get fired up...

The explosion is sublime. It's the aftermath that sucks.

[~Christina]

Wading through the path of destruction is a great deterrent for allow some steam to escape, I’m my world