[Moose72]

Not doing ok. Still manic apparently and CM and pdoc BOTH didn't call me like CM said they would. I'm mad. Whatevah. I tried.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Didn't get the other job either. Oh well. The search continues. He did make a recommendation of a place to drop off a resumé with though, so who knows what will come of that. It's a place I've been to before, but years ago.


Other than that, not much. Still battling the damn pink eye. It's persisting way more than I anticipated (or hoped), but I put a call in with my Dr. and she's not concerned about it. (Yet anyway). At least on the drops I'm not contagious, though I still am being super diligent.


Mood-wise, alright. I'm ramping down my Abilify, but it should not be a problem as I'm only taking 2.5 mg as it is. (Officially they think it's 5, but I cut it in half quite some time ago). I feel like weight is still creeping on (even though it's not particularly known for it, the time correlation is incriminating).


Hugs to any who need them.

Sorry about the job. Silver lining your improving your interview skills.

Abilfy made me want to eat my sofa

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Sorry about the job. Silver lining your improving your interview skills.

Abilfy made me want to eat my sofa

When I was on 10 mg, it made me super hungry too.

[gina_re]

I saw my T earlier today. This was my first visit with her. I was already having a bad day. I was in bed all day. But I left feeling down. I had to think about my situation that has me feeling the way I do. We tried to go over some CBT techniques to help me. But I still felt depressed. The best part was that the office is super close to my favorite Mexican restaurant, and I stopped by for taco Tuesday. I stopped by the grocery store on the way home and bought ice cream that I've been eating straight out of the container for the past 30 minutes.
Edit...My therapist didn't make me feel bad, it wasn't her fault. Just actually verbalizing what I was feeling made me feel the way I do.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone; I hope everyone is doing well. Today was just slightly better than yesterday. It was still not the best day.

Day 5 of just an antidepressant and I seem to be stable with no side effects; so far so good on it working. My sleep is a little different but that is because I am just taking a Melatonin at night; and I no longer have Thor's Hammer of Sleep to knock me out. (Seroquel) I am a bit of a lighter sleeper without the Seroquel but I am still getting decent sleep. I am getting my standard 4.5 to 5 hours of sleep at night; which is standard for me since I am taking classes; and working full time during the day; means I get to spend my night dealing with school.

Work was still pretty exhausting and tiring; it was just a little better than yesterday; but not by a whole lot. Lots for me to play catch up on and to deal with. I hope tomorrow will be better for work. After work I had to visit Target and I also picked up dinner for M and I. I also took a nice relaxing bath and just relaxed for a while.

I am also getting down to the school wire; and am counting down the days until graduation day. It's getting so close to me having a Bachelor's Degree in my hand; next stop is the MHA; but before that I get to enjoy my summer; I already have several things planned for the nieces and I; plus Youth Group activities since I am now considered a teacher. Plus Vacation Bible School is coming up and I will be a teacher for the 3rd and 4th graders.

My Cardiologist would be a little upset with me since I have stopped at the Starbucks yesterday and today. I've been trying to cut out caffeine but my body was really craving an Iced Mocha. My heart rate is resting right around the upper 90's. I am hoping it will go down a little; but I am feeling okay both mentally and physically. I get to see my Cardiologist this week for our Biweekly follow up. I've lost count how much I've seen him this year.

Hugs to everyone

Today was up and down. It was a nice day and i had a good time playing fetch with my neighbor and our dogs. Then i took myself out to dinner and really enjoyed getting out. But tonight has been difficult with my irritation too high to read, watch, listen, play or move. I've just been sitting in the dark. I'm only at 50mg of Lamictal so there's a ways to go before i can get some relief from that -- if it even works for me. I'm not looking forward to the future. I see my doctor on the 9th.

[~Christina]

My Fibro and PsA Pain is stupid high.

A few trial studies show Mucinex actually helps with Fibro pain , who would have thunk it ....I’m seeing no results yet but I’ll keep trying ... might as well take it as my spring allergies are all in a uproar.

I finished a 7 book series the other night that was wonderful so I’m just going to re read it. It was so good I actually left a very positive review on Amazon for the author. She has 2 other book series , so I’ll be set for a couple weeks.

Should go grocery shopping tomorrow and pick up my Xanax script. We shall see how I’m feeling. Maybe I’ll wake up a feel ready to take on the world. LOL

Take care everyone

[Wander]

Last night a scene in a movie me and my partner were watching set off my PTSD severely. First I cried but then I sat frozen, unable to move or talk for at least half an hour. Flashbacks were flooding me. Once I was able to talk a bit I was completely unable to talk to my partner about what was happening. He hugged me, drugged me, and sent me to bed as I simply couldn’t do anything. At least I slept.

Today I saw my T. I considered not telling him as I was wanting to avoid it. In the end it was clear I had to. My T asked many questions about my childhood trauma and the consequences. Plus the link between the Bipolar and PTSD. This revealed a lot and made some things make sense. I’ve never gone through this with him before as I’ve always been too unwell. Now it is hitting me hard, and it is not my choice. I cannot stop it.

I am in trouble. I want to run but how can I run from what my mind is downloading on me without my consent? I’m terrified it will only worsen and trigger my Bipolar. I was not ready for this. My T is very skilled and supportive, and I have other support around me thankfully. Still, who can stop my racing mind flooding me with flashbacks, and the times I disappear completely?

Sorry for the long post. I am being pushed over the edge.

[fern46]

Hey Wander, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can relate. I had something I was reaearching trigger my childhood memories and it caused PTSD and triggered a mixed episode. I can understand being fearful that walking through the memories will trigger an episode.

You are in a much more self aware state than I was. You have coping skills, professionals and people who love you to lean on. You've been battling with the PTSD for a while and you have never given up. I know it is so terribly hard, but you can do this. It is painful each time, but then it gets a little easier to process. You're deep within the painful part, but it will lift and get easier. Hold onto the faith that you're doing what you need to get healthier. Hold onto the faith that you are stronger than anything that has come your way as you have found your way out each time.

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning! Feeling great lately. I've been reading a lot and doing other stuff I enjoy like drawing and learning Italian. I'm glad I'm doing so well, because there's a possibility I will be moving into a new apartment sometime this summer, if that were to have happened a month or so ago I wouldn't have been able to handle the stress of it on top of the instability. It's good stress, I'm excited, but it's stress nonetheless, always worry about the what ifs, etc. Things generally turn out well and my worries are usually far fetched. It will be a new start

Hope everyone is doing well

Good morning, everyone!

I'm glad that I don't have appointments or major tasks to do today. I do have housework and must do a lot of French studies/homework. That has been on the back burner for too long because of the recent events in my life.

Lately I have been supercharged during the day and then suddenly dead tired at night after my evening meds. I've been having the weirdest dreams, too. Then I wake up early bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I went to the last of a six part lecture series on modern China last night. I was almost falling asleep in the end. I managed to attend five of the six lectures. That's good, for me. I only skipped last week's because of my dad's situation. Last week's lecture sounded interesting. It's a shame I missed it.

This weekend is my 30th high school reunion. I'm really going to try to go. They expect me. I bought a pretty dress and cardigan specifically for it. I'll really try to spiffy myself up.

[atisketatasket]

New thread is here: Bipolar Check-in Thread #34