Despite the cheesy title (good song though!) -- I’m going to open up here and be vulnerable a little bit. This may or may not be appropriate for this forum for Bipolar, but since it’s my diagnosis – I’d thought I’d share it here. I hope no one minds.


It’s a little difficult to talk about, but I often feel I am controlled by my emotions, instead of I control my emotions. Sadness will overwhelm me, or a verbal fight will trigger some of the most intense emotions of distress I’ve ever experienced in my life. They consume me. Negative emotions are some of the hardest to shake off. Anger resonates and ruminates (in a non-violent way; I’m not aggressive), fear is over-exaggerated, sadness leads into deep depressions etc. I don’t know how to control it, I feel ashamed of that. Emotions rise and fall but shouldn’t alter your state of mind for extended periods of time (or at least I feel that way). Do you guys experience this? I’ve just been doing some thinking and self-reflection and this concept has come to my mind. Just curious if others here have similar feelings.

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Brentus

It’s a little difficult to talk about, but I often feel I am controlled by my emotions, instead of I control my emotions. Sadness will overwhelm me, or a verbal fight will trigger some of the most intense emotions of distress I’ve ever experienced in my life. They consume me. Negative emotions are some of the hardest to shake off. Anger resonates and ruminates (in a non-violent way; I’m not aggressive), fear is over-exaggerated, sadness leads into deep depressions etc.

Can I assume you have bipolar? or is it something else?

I don’t know how to control it, I feel ashamed of that. Emotions rise and fall but shouldn’t alter your state of mind for extended periods of time (or at least I feel that way).

Do not feel ashamed. Some people do not feel emotions at all, they feel almost 'flat'- you are in touch with something within yourself. Am I right guessing that you are very compassionate and empathetic? Many times people that feel things intensely are some of the most sensitive understanding people around. Do you have friends? I bet you would be a good friend to have.

Do you guys experience this? I’ve just been doing some thinking and self-reflection and this concept has come to my mind. Just curious if others here have similar feelings.

Since I have been medicated and compliant I havent had the swings that you described very often. But I still have episodes.[/SIZE][/FONT]

Can I assume you have bipolar? or is it something else?
Yes, I have been diagnosed as Bipolar II, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Do not feel ashamed. Some people do not feel emotions at all, they feel almost 'flat'- you are in touch with something within yourself. Am I right guessing that you are very compassionate and empathetic? Many times people that feel things intensely are some of the most sensitive understanding people around. Do you have friends? I bet you would be a good friend to have.
I'd like to think I'm a good friend. I do have a hard time keeping them, but I make friends easily and they often talk with me about their issues because I'm a good listener.

Since I have been medicated and compliant I havent had the swings that you described very often. But I still have episodes.
I'm currently taking some new medications that I think are working for me, but it's not been long enough to truly know -- but I've been doing well these last little bit.

Thanks for your response. I appreciate it!

Being a sensitive person emotionally is not uncommon, and I don't think it needs a diagnosis attached to it. Certainly having bipolar disorder and a propensity to be anxious doesn't help. I think of myself as being a sensitive person, and yet I have also had some periods in my life when I felt stress and difficulties rolled off my back as if it was Teflon. And yet, maybe it just seemed to be like that, and really wasn't.

The worst years of my illness definitely weakened me and made me feel excessively sensitive. Even something like watching an SPCA commercial would really upset me and I'd want to change the channel immediately. Politics can affect me greatly. People not being nice to me, or others, hurts me a lot. It still does, but to a lesser degrees at times. I remember my husband telling me to ask my therapist to "help toughen me up". I actually mentioned that to a couple of my therapists and they ignored it/brushed it off.

I don't believe being emotional is that bad of a thing at all unless it becomes too painful, which you seem to describe a bit. I like how sarahsweets mentioned a good aspect to being a sensitive person. In fact, there are a lot of wonderful aspects of being emotionally sensitive. A lot of great artists (from dancers to writers to painters to musicians) use such sensitivity to color and bring intensity to their work. The sensitivity of a parent to the pain or triumph of a child is a touching, empathetic, and/or beautiful thing.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Brentus I understand how you feel. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. I'll try not to repeat it too much. There's nothing wrong with being a sensitive person. It can be a wonderful thing, although it does have some difficulties you may need to learn to deal with. But it's not all bad. You just need to learn to regulate your emotions so that you won't feel too overwhelmed by them. It can be done. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help you. You could learn new ways to cope with you feelings. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. I'm glad your new meds are helping you out. Please don't feel ashamed of yourself. This is just the way you are. There's nothing to be ashamed of! You're a wonderful person just the way you are, Brentus. I hope you'll be able to see that, because it's the truth. Stay strong, Brentus. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I'm sossorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Brentus

[~Christina]

I had a basically mundane argument with my husband and here it is still bothering me almost 2 weeks later which I’m sure he literally forgot it happened.

The talk of beating a dead horse , I’m very often the dead horse

Emotion often overtakes me and I’m a crying mess

[yellow_fleurs]

Brentus, I can relate in some ways, yes. I actually tend to suppress my emotions in a effort to control them and I think that is part of my problem. I need to learn to be less controlled by them, but not necessarily try to control them if that makes sense. More like I need to be mindful of them, recognize what I am actually feeling, and why, and deal with it in a constructive way. I grew up in a household with emotionally reactive people (who had anger outbursts), and had to learn to be the "calm" one, but I am also emotionally sensitive and I think I developed bad habits of ignoring my own needs. I have been noticing, for example, that I might feel angry and am really just hurt because someone was taking advantage of me and I did not stick up for myself. So, I am trying to also express my emotions in a healthy way, by addressing what is upsetting me or maybe releasing it through something like art. Not that I have this down, just saying this is my goal.

I think it is good you are becoming self aware of how your emotions affect you, and I don't think you should feel ashamed. Therapy sounds like a good place to work on it. Have you brought it up with a therapist?

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Brentus, I can relate in some ways, yes. I actually tend to suppress my emotions in a effort to control them and I think that is part of my problem. I need to learn to be less controlled by them, but not necessarily try to control them if that makes sense. More like I need to be mindful of them, recognize what I am actually feeling, and why, and deal with it in a constructive way. I grew up in a household with emotionally reactive people (who had anger outbursts), and had to learn to be the "calm" one, but I am also emotionally sensitive and I think I developed bad habits of ignoring my own needs. I have been noticing, for example, that I might feel angry and am really just hurt because someone was taking advantage of me and I did not stick up for myself. So, I am trying to also express my emotions in a healthy way, by addressing what is upsetting me or maybe releasing it through something like art. Not that I have this down, just saying this is my goal.

I think it is good you are becoming self aware of how your emotions affect you, and I don't think you should feel ashamed. Therapy sounds like a good place to work on it. Have you brought it up with a therapist?

Thank you for your response! To answer your question-- I have brought it up with my therapist. We are currently working on some pretty serious issues so that is where our focus is now. This can take a back burner for now, but it is on our to-do list.