Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 10:11 AM
Jensitive22's Avatar
Jensitive22 Jensitive22 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: NV
Posts: 179
I struggle with thinking I can’t meet the expectations of others. This affected me in my profession and affects my relationships with others. Expectations- my own internal, what I think are others, and those that are actual- become so entangled that I am unable to feel confident in meeting them. Making and keeping friends feels impossible to me, so I don’t even try. Taking this a step further, friendships feel out of reach because I am not worthy of a friend.

Does anybody else struggle with this?
__________________
BPII and GAD
Currently On 600 mg trilipteral, 20 mg Celexa, and 80 mg Propranolol for tremors. Klonopin for anxiety, as needed, and 25 mg Seroquel nightly for sleep.
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, cashart10, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Tryingtobehappy5
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky

advertisement
  #2  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 11:47 AM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Mountain View
Posts: 629
Feeling that you are not worthy of a friend might be temporary depression or a pervasive lack of sense of self-worth. Which is it for you? You have BPII so I am wondering if you are in a depressive state so much of the time that you confuse depressed mood with your core personality.
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #3  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 12:38 PM
Under*Over's Avatar
Under*Over Under*Over is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 457
Yeah I feel the same way. That if I let people in and let them see me- theyll run away scared and everyone will be hurt.

But Ive been told that- and I do think this is true and makes sense- you cant have ANY relationships if you dont try. Even if it feels like you are always being hurt... not having relationships hurts too.

So keep trying is my advice. Im going to try harder too so you arent alone. I know how hard it can be but everyone deserves to have people in their lives. Very few people are awful enough to live a life of isolation- and you dont seem awful at all
Hugs from:
gina_re, MickeyCheeky, Tryingtobehappy5
Thanks for this!
gina_re, MickeyCheeky
  #4  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 03:30 PM
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 Tryingtobehappy5 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
I definitely have the same problems. At work I can push it down enough to not let it affect my performance or the way I relate to people but in my personal life it means I don't try at all. Sometimes I think about trying but change my mind quickly.

It does hurt me that I don't have relationships but my fear of failure is bigger. I just feel that no one likes me beyond short encounters. I do get along well with everyone but i'm too afraid to try to go further.

This is my second post on this on here today and I have just thought of another part that may contribute to this. I know me not trying is a problem and I feel that it is others not liking me that is the reason I never get to friendship level but here is what I just realized.

My inconsistency may scare some people off, I mean lots of times im in bed 16hrs a day or at the opposite end staying up all night, getting drunk and being arrested under the mental health act day after day. But what if the main problem is actually the opposite, me not wanting friendship causing it to end so soon. A lot of the time I am just not into the friendship thing, I get depressed and isolate myself so often that I find myself not wanting to deal with anyone or try in any way. That ends things pretty fast, people probably assume I dont like them because sometimes I dont like anyone in reality.

Gonna dig a bit further into that thought. There is probably truth in both ideas.

I totally agree you seem like a very nice person who deserves friendship
__________________
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #5  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 04:03 PM
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
I can relate to what you wrote, Jensitive22 I struggle with expectations as well. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. But we have to keep fighting and understand that we can only do our best. That's all we can do. It's not our fault. And please remember that you ARE worthy of love, just like everyone elese. Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve to be loved. You're certainly loved here. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that we're here for you to support you. We all love you here.. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to everyone
Hugs from:
BeyondtheRainbow
Thanks for this!
BeyondtheRainbow
  #6  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 06:17 PM
yellow_fleurs yellow_fleurs is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
I do struggle with this. I think it stems from a few things for me. I have developed some low self worth possibly due to family issues such as a dad who could be very critical and had a temper, and being made fun of when I was younger/treated poorly by peers. I think this low self worth can become a negative cycle, because if we start to act like we don't deserve things and friends, then the world takes us at our offer, or we miss chances to meet people, or accept less than we deserve in relationships, building upon this negative self image. In addition, I struggle because of mental/physical health problems that have made me different and not able to keep up with my peers, isolating me. Also, depression makes this much worse since it can make us feel worthless as a symptom. I am working on evaluating myself more objectively, but it's hard to unlearn.

I think it is a good thing to address in therapy. If you avoid making friends, you will miss the chance for outside perspective that shows you you are worthy.
  #7  
Old Feb 13, 2019, 11:53 PM
AspiringAuthor AspiringAuthor is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Mountain View
Posts: 629
What a gentle username! just now noticed.
__________________
Bipolar I w/Psychotic features

Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg
Gabapentin 1200 mg
Melatonin 10 mg
Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past)


past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax
  #8  
Old Feb 14, 2019, 01:01 AM
wiretwister's Avatar
wiretwister wiretwister is offline
we are one
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: Ky , USA
Posts: 3,015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jensitive22 View Post
I struggle with thinking I can’t meet the expectations of others. This affected me in my profession and affects my relationships with others. Expectations- my own internal, what I think are others, and those that are actual- become so entangled that I am unable to feel confident in meeting them. Making and keeping friends feels impossible to me, so I don’t even try. Taking this a step further, friendships feel out of reach because I am not worthy of a friend.

Does anybody else struggle with this?

yes I do ...
__________________
( PRAY FOR SOUTH KOREA )



https://www.pinterest.com/lovesoonkyu/
  #9  
Old Apr 24, 2019, 05:04 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
Hugs to all
__________________
  #10  
Old Apr 26, 2019, 08:47 PM
GoldenSnitch's Avatar
GoldenSnitch GoldenSnitch is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 577
I can completely relate to this. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.
Reply
Views: 431

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:27 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.