[xRavenx]

It's been a long while now that I went without dating. I've been depressed for awhile or rapid cycling, just generally unwell, but I was thinking maybe loneliness plays a role in that. But I'm not 100% sure. I am the type who is able to be alone, but maybe I should try getting out of my shell. It's hard to meet others. I'm not really around people much.
I put up an online profile the other day, even though I was hesitant. I noticed most people have lots of interests, but it hit me just how much my depression has interfered with my motivation in the past year (and during mania, I mainly just write a bunch of gibberish and turn to vices).
The problem is, I still lack interest in things, and now I'm questioning whether I should date. I don't want to be alone forever. Short term dating usually works best for me, because my mood swings interfere. But it's also led to problems. Anyone relate to this? Or if not, any advice? Thanks.

[Merlin]

I tend to date when I am feeling well and not date when I am feeling poorly. I worry I would ruin a relationship, that started when I was well, when I became unwell.

Sorry, just saw this xRavenx. How are you feeling about it today? I've not gone the online route (in the traditional sense anyway), but am always curious how it goes for others. (Maybe someday, I don't know.) I've been doing really well (psychologically) for, well 7 months anyway, and part of that has been getting back into my old interests. Even if you're not currently doing them, can you come up with a list of them? Like, what they have traditionally been for you? Are any of them things you might have in common with others that you could maybe do together? Have you ever tried any MeetUps? Might energize your interests.

I've not thought far enough ahead to worry what calamity might come in any potential relationship. Figure I'll just take it a step at a time and see what happens.

I was thinking what Innerzone wrote. You can always list interests you've had in the past. Just because you haven't been active with them or motivated to do them in recent months/years, doesn't mean they're totally gone.

I'm a believer that sometimes (not always) it is possible for a "jolt" or "click", as I have called it, to suddenly reawaken passions of the past. I think that the mere fact that you're expressing an interest in dating is one you should attempt to pursue. If it doesn't work out in the short-term, it was at least a toe in the pool.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Sorry, just saw this xRavenx. How are you feeling about it today? I've not gone the online route (in the traditional sense anyway), but am always curious how it goes for others. (Maybe someday, I don't know.) I've been doing really well (psychologically) for, well 7 months anyway, and part of that has been getting back into my old interests. Even if you're not currently doing them, can you come up with a list of them? Like, what they have traditionally been for you? Are any of them things you might have in common with others that you could maybe do together? Have you ever tried any MeetUps? Might energize your interests.

I've not thought far enough ahead to worry what calamity might come in any potential relationship. Figure I'll just take it a step at a time and see what happens.

Thanks for your response. After meeting with my pdoc today, she thinks I should wait til my mood is stabilized before moving forward with dating. I've been rapid cycling, but have been putting pressure on myself to do things that people around me are doing (i.e. dating, moving forward in life). But maybe that's not healthy for me right now.

When manic, I tend to write like crazy, shop, and buy things. Or I'll make really bad decisions as far as who I surround myself. So those hobbies are not really that healthy or what anyone wants to hear on a dating site. When depressed, I just stay in my room. Way back when I was in a better frame of mind, I used to enjoy just going to restaurants, listening to live music places, and typical things like that. I want to be ready.... but I guess I shouldn't pressure myself. My pdoc started me on a new medication today. Maybe that will even me out and get me to a healthier place where I am finally ready.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I was thinking what Innerzone wrote. You can always list interests you've had in the past. Just because you haven't been active with them or motivated to do them in recent months/years, doesn't mean they're totally gone.

I'm a believer that sometimes (not always) it is possible for a "jolt" or "click", as I have called it, to suddenly reawaken passions of the past. I think that the mere fact that you're expressing an interest in dating is one you should attempt to pursue. If it doesn't work out in the short-term, it was at least a toe in the pool.

Thanks for this. When I am feeling better, it would be a good idea for me to brainstorm. Maybe I'll keep my dating profile up, but I'll defer getting involved, with the hopes that once my medication starts working, I'll have the motivation to take the next step. I keep flip flopping.