I have not felt this unwell since last May

...but last May I was manic with mixed features and psychosis. Today I am more purely depressed. I feel so unwell and alone.

I feel desperate. I called my husband. He told me to take 50 mg Seroquel so I just did. My psychiatrist hasn't yet called back.

I called my psychiatrist again and told him to call my cell phone instead of land line. I'm afraid to pick up my land line.

My husband told me to take 50 mg Seroquel prn so I did.

so sorry to hear you are not feeling well, BirdDancer. I hope the seroquel helps. please keep us posted if your pdoc calls. I hope you get that call very soon. hang in there and you are not definitely alone. we are all here for you. this will pass. give it time and be strong. you will make it. please let us know how you are doing after the pdoc calls. best wishes. sending hugs.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, I'm around to listen if you want to talk.

Birddancer, I'm sorry you are feeling so crummy! I know how hard it is to wait for your pdoc to call you back. Hang in there. Hopefully the Seroquel has kicked in by the time you read this.

I am really sorry. Has the pdoc called and did the seroquel help? I hope this passes quickly for you. Are you safe at the moment?

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so awful. You've been through a lot lately. I hope the meds work and that you get a return call from your pdoc shortly. Keep posting here if you need to. You don't have to be alone and you will fight your way through this.

Thank you, everyone!

I took the Seroquel 50 mg maybe 30 mins ago. Oddly, I feel more hyper/agitated, but a little less desperate. My psychiatrist hasn't yet called. Maybe he takes Fridays off. He does provide his cell phone number, but I told him in the message that I'm afraid to call it. I told him to call my cell phone because I am afraid to answer the landline. I'm afraid the French teacher will call. I emailed many hours ago, but no acknowledgement. Normally I would call them or have hubby call, but I can't bear the thought of explaining. The French lesson time is approaching. Only 38 minutes from now. It's approach is torture. If they call my landline, I will cup my ears or run from the room.

Glad you feel a little less desperate. Is there a specific reason you are scared to call your pdoc's cell phone? Do you have a therapy appointment soon or might it help to move it up and see them sooner?

The seroquels good for slowing everything down, but only does so much for the anxiety/depression. Your doing your best, taken the prescribed pen, its probably hard to see, but you are handling your distressing feelings really well. Oh, and I so get the wanting help but not wanting to have to explain!


You are doing really well, even though it might not feel.like it. Your pDoc will help, as will your husband, and your friends here. Well done for reaching out for help too !!

It's a long hard thing to explain.

I see my therapist every Tuesday. My next psychiatrist appointment is May 22. He will eventually call back. I don't know what will happen, if he will see me next week. That seems far away. I have to feel better this weekend. My birthday is coming up.

I feel less agitated now. I had to leave my room. My parrot was making me nervous and upset.

Everything I regret and feel sad about is flooding into my head. Everything ahead seems like such a huge challenge. A figurative dagger stuck me in the heart.

My pdoc called. Because today is Friday he couldn't give me anything sooner than Monday at noon. My Seroquel XR is now 600 mg again. Maybe I'll sleep well tonight and wake up better.

Hopefully you get some relief.

same happened to me. I was in crisis on a friday and couldn't get seen till monday. hope you feel better. try and rest. sounds like you need it. get well!

I got so angry!

I just have to be in my own personal territory. The only place that is 100% mine is my car. That's where I'm sleeping tonight.

Imgur: The magic of the Internet

It does sound like you are depressed. Remember it lies to you. You will get through this. Hopefully your pdoc and husband can help you ASAP. Thinking of you. Hang in there.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so unwell. I've enjoyed reading along with your recent successes. You attended five out of six of your lecture series and you had your doubts about that. You attended your reunion and you had your doubts about that. So it seemed like you were doing well. Is it the struggle with your dad that's triggered you? I hope you get some relief from the Seroquel. The street name for it is "Snooze Berries" so it's known for it's sedating effects. I know weekends are a hard time. Don't forget about crisis lines if it comes to that. Hang in there, your friend, Jane.

Our world grows as we revive from depressions grips, and it shrinks as depression hits. Its good you know when to pull back. Very wise. My anger flares with yelling, screaming, crying...out of sheer frustration and hatred,especially when I cannot seem to control any area of my life. No matter how hard I try. My car is my 'safe place'. Its always got a sleeping bag in it. A place where I can lock myself in, see all around me (unlike a house), sleep and can drive off if need be. Its wise to retreat until you feel safe.



It pains me to hear you experience such intense feelings. Our minds can be such cruel task masters. As hard as it is, what you're going through now, it's hunker down time and let the cyclone pass using the safest ways you know how. If that's in the car sleeping with the seroquel and talking online, then that's what you do. Shrink your world as much as you need to, but don't be afraid to reach out, be it online, via helplines, or getting to ED. Please don't drive whilst on the high dose of seroquel. Get someone to take you. But I promise you, you are strong. I might not know you, but your here, talking, sharing, and trying to process safely. You're ffighting. I think you deserve a lot of praise for that. Your feeling the pain....and we're here cheering you on to keep fighting.


Do you have your next step strategies written down? Use them, no matter how fruitless they may feel. Sometimes one sentence is exactly what we need to hear to ground us. Help is close. Allow yourself to stop, breathe and hopefully sleep. Can do.

Thank you, Underdevelopment, for this very thoughtful response 🙂

Thanks to everyone for your support yesterday. I was eventually lured out of my car last night after a few hours. I was awake from 3 to 4 ish, then slept again. My pdoc had returned my call and upped my Seroquel XR. I see him on Monday.

I know I get really irritable when depressed, mainly to distance myself from everything. It’s different than being irritable when I’m impatient. Or maybe I’m just grumpy all the time 😜

Hope you have a safe place to be in before you see your pdoc. And of course, we’re all here.

I'm so sorry I didn't read this earlier, BirdDancer! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! How are things going for you right now? I hope you're feeling a bit better! I agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! Please DO remember that you're not alone and that YOU ARE LOVED HERE! I PROMISE YOU THAT! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Let us know if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT, ok? You DO desevre to be loved and to be helped! Be proud of yourself because you're taking all the necessary steps to get better! It's not easy, but YOU'RE DOING IT! YOU'RE TRYING YOUR BEST and THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! Be proud of yourself, ok,BirdDancer, my friend? You WILL get through all of this because YOU'RE STRONG AND YOU KNOW THAT, BIRDDANCER! Take GREAT care of yourself, BirdDancer, my friend, and remember that we'll NEVER abandon you! I PROMISE YOU ALL FO THAT! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this! Please keep us updated as much as you possibly CAN if you want to, ok? We DO want to know how things are gong for you and if things are getting ANY better and if there's ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT! Sending many hugs to you, BirdDancer!

hope all goes well on Monday. feel better. thoughts and hugs!

I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

I am glad you are safe and got in contact with your pdoc. Please keep letting us know how you are, and how your appointment goes. Hugs!