Just Highly Emotional?

Are we just highly emotionally sensitive people? The littlest thing will set of a thought then emotions. Listening to the news just drives me nuts and its almost always negative. Pretty soon I am thinking that my youngest will But then I tell myself to stop that and I concentrate on the foood at the grocery store and before I know it Im talking with a long-time friend who works there- outside in the sunshine, both of us just laughing our heads off! I get home and the negative thoughts are back.

I’m the same way, mixed so that’s pretty much life though the ups and crazy manic thinking and especially the downs/negative thinking have gotten more extreme for me lately. I hope it will even out. Sometimes, I feel like I must be crazy.

What are your mixed symptoms like? I seem to be diagnosed with mania but never mixed or depressed.

I have experienced mixed bp swings. I’ll be having the best day of my life and then I will see something that reminds me of something negative and I will immediately shift into sadness accentuated with loud sobbing crying spells and racing negative thoughts. Getting out of the house, listening to happy music, or calling a friend will sometimes get me back on track; a distraction. My problem mainly during this time is my thoughts are racing up and down so rapidly that my emotional self can’t keep up.

Mixed is what is sounds like, you're high and low, but it's not rapid-cycling either. I do have periods of complete depression and usually short-lived periods of full mania (because of medical intervention), but mostly I'm up and down a lot on a given day or even both at the same time, as weird as that seems. I can be feeling good that I accomplished a task and still thinking I'm worthless. I get crying spells; I get hypo. Usually I'm on to a new feeling by the end of the day but sometimes not. I have a lot of forgetfulness, irritability, feeling I've already told people things, and they should understand me because of it. Start drifting off in my mind when other people talk more than a couple sentences and thinking about something else. Start cooking, think I need to put the laundry in the dryer and I must do it immediately then remember I need to text something to somebody then check my email, get lost in that, totally forget I am cooking. There is a very pressing urgency that once I think I need to do something, I must abandon the task at hand and do that thing immediately. I am not sure if that is a mixed feature or just me, but it is so inconvenient as it results in nothing getting all the way done. I'll hate my body one minute, and love it when I fit it some tiny size, then I'm all admiring myself in the mirror (maybe that's the ED, I think it's very likely the ED feeds on the mixed or the mixed feeds into the ED). One minute you're full of great ideas and things you want to do and maybe you start on it but at some point give up and feel like a failure. Sometimes, my spells will go a few weeks, or I'll be mostly one thing or the other though never completely. I have racing, jumpy, disconnected thoughts. I am OK one minute, and something little like my daughter refusing to go take her shower has me crying, sad, down, screaming, in tears for several hours, thinking I am worthless, a bad mom, why am I even here, etc. I'd go on but I'd write a book as I am prone to hypergraphia.

I think I am highly emotional, it runs in the family. I don't take it out on people, but am working on learning to emotionally regulate better. Suppressing my emotions used to be my go to, but that apparently backfires as you can imagine. Making sure I am taking good care of myself in terms of diet/sleep/etc. and keeping stress from getting too unhealthy helps me keep my emotions in check. I don't know that this is actually a bipolar thing in my case, though. I think it's more my temperament? I was worried for awhile I had a personality disorder, but just decided I have both positive and less positive traits and I am just going to work on improving anything that can be improved.

I did a lot of research on bipolar disorder when I got out of the hospital. I remember reading that the inability to properly regulate emotional responses is a major component of the disorder. It is caused by a difference in the chemicals in the body.

This chemical imbalance is the reason meds are helpful in treatment. It is also why so many patients instinctually self medicate with caffeine, alcohol, sugar, marijuana, and other substances. They do make a difference and often make patients truly feel better. The trouble is we aren't professional chemists and we have no idea how much to take to achieve perfect balance. Many people accidentally exacerbate their imbalance and throw themselves into depression or mania through self medication.

I remember the author of one book comparing bipolar disorder to diabetes. She pointed out that a body struggling to regulate insulin is no different than a body struggling to regulate the chemicals that interfere with emotional response.

Knowing more about the science of bipolar disorder brought me comfort. A person born with diabetes is not to blame for their bodie's inability to regulate insulin just as a bipolar person did not choose to have a chemical imbalance. The difderence maker is how we choose to use this information when the disorder is causing unwanted effects. Do we experience highly emotional situations and allow them to spiral out of control, or do we remind ourselves that our emotions are potentially being manipulated and take a step back before reacting further? Do we punish ourselves for our negative thoughts, or do we forgive and allow ourselves to remember a disease is talking and we are more than what our brains trick us into thinking sometimes?

We all deserve the ability to experience emotions and react, but knowing how the disorder works can help us keep emotions in check. It can help us realize why the meds are helpful, but also why it is so hard to get the cocktail just right. Essentially we all need to give ourselves a big break and love ourselves. It turns out I may not even be bipolar, but the doctors have said something hormonal or adrenal caused my mania. Understanding it was somewhat out of my control has helped me to start to forgive myself. It also motivated me to work with my doctor to find the right meds and to be more aware of what I choose to put into my body.