Bipolar check in #37

Blue, when I'm too sick to read adult books or anything complicated I read children's books I love and have read so many times that I can handle them. I have the Little House books that I can read beginning to end and then restart happily in hardback so it can go IP with me (it's also my first choice usually) and I have the Anne of Green Gables books on my Kindle. They really help me to not get frustrated and still be able to read and distract myself a bit.

That's good news about your mood improvement. I hope every day is a little better. Please don't get discouraged if you have what seems like a worse day again. In my case, I would sometimes feel a little better for a couple days, and then worse again for one or two, then better again and then even a little better, then worse for a day or so, then better and better. I don't know if it will work that way for you.

I think .i am starting to like this Abilify after around 2.5, w weeks on it. Or maybe liking the decrease of Seroquel to 100/mg per night (though I have a feeling the pdoc will put it to 200 mg my next appt. Feel somewhat hypomanic. Clonodine has been cut in half, and I think I am bit less forgetful.

Weather today is ominous. My daughter has school, but H’s university is closed. He couldn’t make there anyway with the roads he has to take flooded.

It is dark as night outside at 10 AM. Hope we don’t lose power.

Couple pics that don’t show the dark

I think the Depakote is finally starting to work. My mood is getting a little better. I'm still depressed and suicidalbut not as depressed and suicidal. The pdoc at PHP also took me off Trintellix and put me on Prozac on Monday. But I don't think that could be having an effect yet.

Prozac can, with some people, work fairly quickly.

It must be encouraging to feel like you are headed in the right direction!

Well, I decided to add a picture to my profile. It is a photo of myself that has been processed by AI software. This image is suppose to be how I will look at a much older age. Actually, this picture portrays how I have been feeling lately. Depressed. Fatigued. Sad. Upset. However, this should only be for a period of time. Eventually, my mood will change.

The death of my mother back over a year ago has been hitting me hard. I feel so tired and upset. I think about something that I would want to talk to my mother about, just to remind myself once again of her passing. Over the years, part of me has had a strong desire to get back with my daughter's mother, even though this is very unrealistic for a multitude of reasons. My first love. Only recently have I on an emotional level came to the concrete realization that this is not possible, and would actually be a bad thing to happen to me. I will need to keep moving forward past this. At times this still can be a struggle.

My daughter was arrested a couple months ago. Her and her boyfriend apparently can be violent toward each other. How did this come to be? Is she going to become the battered spouse along with its associated changes in "personality"? Subservient minded. Timid. Dependent. Continually eager to please? Basically a noticeable loss of her identity? I do believe that when a women is beaten by their SO, their brain can start to function differently. Not good. Perhaps a very difficult path back to a more healthy normalcy.

PS My avatar is a picture of my dog sprawled out on the living room floor with her back to me. Right now she is not following my commands for her to come over to me. Must be nice. A dogs life! Watch her come to life if I get her leash out for a walk outdoors. Like magic. LOL

So pdoc thinks these flashes of horrible are intrusive thoughts- says so on the prescription bottle. "Take one for intrusive thoughts". Maybe I should take one now?

I’m getting really frustrated with this seemingly never ending Asthma flare , weeks !!!!!! I haven’t had a flare like this in yearssssss

The pollen here is terrible, alerts on the news. I’m sick of it. But .... I’m very leery of taking another run of steroids Bipolar wise.

I see my Dr again the 25th or of course sooner if I want.

Wheeze wheeze wheeze !

I’m getting really frustrated with this seemingly never ending Asthma flare , weeks !!!!!! I haven’t had a flare like this in yearssssss

The pollen here is terrible, alerts on the news. I’m sick of it. But .... I’m very leery of taking another run of steroids Bipolar wise.

I see my Dr again the 25th or of course sooner if I want.

Wheeze wheeze wheeze !

I have no major obligations for well over a week. It feels good. I'm also lucky that my hubby did the dishes last night, so I have few chores today. I planned meals for our vacation next week, but need to create the grocery list (I'll be cooking). I promised that the meals would be diet-friendly. Such meal planning is unique. The kitchen will have needed tools, but the pantry will likely have few, if any. Apparently there is a wonderful gas grill there. The weather is supposed to be nice, so most dinners will be grilled. We only have a charcoal grill at home, which is a little hassle.

The place we're going is in the PA mountains and has a lake in the back of the house.

My psychiatrist wouldn't lower my Seroquel XR. I think he thought I was hypomanic. I think he often thinks that. Actually, once he told me that my baseline mood is mildly hypomanic. I don't put it that way. I rather like saying I have a hyperthymic personality. That sounds a lot less dysfunctional. Anyway, I did say that I still have good energy and have been sleeping well, and waking up ready to start the day.

Our internet was so slow. Hubby asked me to call Verizon. I did chat, instead. [A better idea for me.] But they asked me questions and gave me instructions I was perplexed about. I must have called hubby at work at least six times. Fortunately, the problem did get resolved in the end.

So pdoc thinks these flashes of horrible are intrusive thoughts- says so on the prescription bottle. "Take one for intrusive thoughts". Maybe I should take one now?

I’m getting really frustrated with this seemingly never ending Asthma flare , weeks !!!!!! I haven’t had a flare like this in yearssssss

The pollen here is terrible, alerts on the news. I’m sick of it. But .... I’m very leery of taking another run of steroids Bipolar wise.

I see my Dr again the 25th or of course sooner if I want.

Wheeze wheeze wheeze !

I am guessing this is the Haldol?
It has a prn on it.
Yes, use it if you are having those bothersome.horrible thoughts.
I am sorry you go through this. I hope your prn med helps!

What is the medication? Has it helped before ? If so , certainly take a dose.

Birddancer, my dad was hyperthymic. Bipolar runs in the family, but he got lucky. He was a delightful man. I never saw him angry or overly sad, but people hide things from their kids, especially when I was growing up in the 50s and 60s. To me, he always seemed happy, even when stressed from work. I wish I was hyperthymic instead of BP 2.

Are you taking a preventative inhaler, like. Symbicort? Is that a steroid? I wouldnt want to do double steroids either. Do you have an asthma action plan? If this, then that to follow. It sounds like youve been in "the yellow zone" at least for quite a while now. (Red is get medical treatment now. Green is take your rescue inhaler, you're probably good.)

Its Haldol 2 mg, PRN (Pro Re Nata) Im already on 2.5 mg daily.