[depressedIRL21]

Hello Everyone,

How long did it take you all to accept your bipolar diagnosis?

For me, it took me 1.5 years to accept it when I am mood stable (after a long term spent in therapy talking about it). A part of it was me thinking it was still just depressed since I haven't had a full maniac episode however I have had hypomaniac episodes since. Also when I am depressive or maniac, I tend to have this mindset where I hate being bipolar.

[sarahsweets]

I accepted it I just didnt think I needed treatment for it. eventually I did.

[~Christina]

Ummmm 30 seconds....after I heard “ you have Bipolar “ I was like ooooooh that explains it!

I know a lot of people really struggle with acceptance but for me at age 43 I was grateful it helped me figure out why my life seemed so freaking hard at times.

[depressedIRL21]

Hello Christina,

Nice to meet you! I am glad it took you a short time! Alot of with me it was cause my family kept staying I was just depressed so unfortunately I believed them for awhile but then the meds started working and then it finally hit me:

"I'm bipolar"

[depressedIRL21]

Hello sarahsweets!

Thank you for responding! I know a few friends who took a long time to start treatment. I immediately started treatment but it also didn't really work for awhile.

[fern46]

I accepted it very quickly even though I knew the symptoms and many of them did not resonate. Over time, my doctors began to question the diagnosis and now they are no longer sure how to categorize my experience. I'm having more trouble accepting floating along without a diagnosis.

I have had to accept that treating the symptoms I have is more important than having a label. We are all unique and need treatment plans that make sense for our particular needs. I'm trying to stay focused on that.

Welcome to PC! I hope you find your experience here to be helpful to you on your journey.

[beauflow]

Is it ok if I share this here? I think in this moment it's on topic of Bipolar acceptance .... but if it is not- please let me know and I post somewhere else.

I am a silly one, I went in saying I wondered about bipolar ... - due to family members that have been diagnosed but didn't manage it... and I was having issues....
but with me- when the professionals agreed ... I disagreed, but yet I have tried therapy and other aspects of understanding and learning.

I still have issues with full acceptance some days, and I've been to the hospital,
and also checked in with therapy many times and left... I have this belief at times that it was a "phase" or just a rough spot.. but yet somethings keep coming back ((and I can break down with "it's never goin away)); and this thought here is important-- it's not going to go away, it will need to be managed.

I am seeing a new t currently, I talked to her with this- it's not a phase, she reminds me it's something I've had to cope and manage all this time and let's continue.

Funny, this morning
I was just watching this video on YouTube

((the lady who makes them, I like her style and approach, bit disagree with her rapid cycling video but yet also took something away and have a question with it now)).

But anyways-- if it helps anyone with acceptance, getting help, understanding.. is why I am sharing it.

Be well ... and again if this is off topic please let me know, and I can post some where else.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by beauflow

Is it ok if I share this here? I think in this moment it's on topic of Bipolar acceptance .... but if it is not- please let me know and I post somewhere else.

I am a silly one, I went in saying I wondered about bipolar ... - due to family members that have been diagnosed but didn't manage it... and I was having issues....
but with me- when the professionals agreed ... I disagreed, but yet I have tried therapy and other aspects of understanding and learning.

I still have issues with full acceptance some days, and I've been to the hospital,
and also checked in with therapy many times and left... I have this belief at times that it was a "phase" or just a rough spot.. but yet somethings keep coming back ((and I can break down with "it's never goin away)); and this thought here is important-- it's not going to go away, it will need to be managed.

I am seeing a new t currently, I talked to her with this- it's not a phase, she reminds me it's something I've had to cope and manage all this time and let's continue.

Funny, this morning
I was just watching this video on YouTube

((the lady who makes them, I like her style and approach, bit disagree with her rapid cycling video but yet also took something away and have a question with it now)).

But anyways-- if it helps anyone with acceptance, getting help, understanding.. is why I am sharing it.

Be well ... and again if this is off topic please let me know, and I can post some where else.

Dr. Marks is great! I have learned a lot from her. It is important to question anything that doesn't resonate, but she's a good resource.

[*Beth*]

I was diagnosed with BD somewhere around twenty years ago. I thought I had finally fully accepted my diagnosis over the summer; now I feel doubtful.

I still don't understand what the difference is between bipolar disorder and this is who I am, this is how I was born, why do they keep trying to medicate my very being and make that which is me go away?

I find the whole issue very frustrating.

I was diagnosed 16 years ago. I barely acknowledged it and did not accept bipolar medications until 14 years ago. I did accept then, but a few times in those earlier years I thought I could handle it without treatment. I learned otherwise in a very major way.

Though not exactly the question, I guess I made peace with it only about 5 years ago. This "peace" was not resignation. It was more positive than that.

[Blue_Bird]

I didn't accept it for a couple years. My dx initially was Bipolar 1 w/ Psychotic Features then changed to Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar type. Most of the first year I was dx'd I was in psychosis so I didn't have any insight. Then after I did I still denied that I had it or I'd get to a point where I'd do great on meds then convince myself I was cured or didn't have it in the first place get off the meds , become unstable and repeat. That cycle went on for about a year. Eventually I accepted , it took quite awhile though and many cycles of becoming unstable before I did. I fully accept it now though. The initial dx was 8 years ago.

[UpDownAround]

Decades.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by beauflow

Is it ok if I share this here? I think in this moment it's on topic of Bipolar acceptance .... but if it is not- please let me know and I post somewhere else.

I am a silly one, I went in saying I wondered about bipolar ... - due to family members that have been diagnosed but didn't manage it... and I was having issues....
but with me- when the professionals agreed ... I disagreed, but yet I have tried therapy and other aspects of understanding and learning.

I still have issues with full acceptance some days, and I've been to the hospital,
and also checked in with therapy many times and left... I have this belief at times that it was a "phase" or just a rough spot.. but yet somethings keep coming back ((and I can break down with "it's never goin away)); and this thought here is important-- it's not going to go away, it will need to be managed.

I am seeing a new t currently, I talked to her with this- it's not a phase, she reminds me it's something I've had to cope and manage all this time and let's continue.

Funny, this morning
I was just watching this video on YouTube

((the lady who makes them, I like her style and approach, bit disagree with her rapid cycling video but yet also took something away and have a question with it now)).

But anyways-- if it helps anyone with acceptance, getting help, understanding.. is why I am sharing it.

Be well ... and again if this is off topic please let me know, and I can post some where else.

Thanks for sharing!

[cashart10]

I was diagnosed at 15. I kind of wore it as a badge at the time, while deep down really denying it. I slowly got better so around 20 or so I said I was either cured or misdiagnosed. I went on with a mostly stable life for about 8 or so years until I had a second, this time very severe, psychotic break. There was absolutely no denying it at that point and I certainly never again wore it as a badge. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy...young or old.

[BipolaRNurse]

Full acceptance is a work in progress for me. It really wasn't until this past summer that I finally settled down and realized that I indeed have this illness that I have to take a lot of medication to manage. This was the first summer in many years that I didn't have a manic episode, and it was a good thing. I don't WANT to lose control and spend every dime I have (and then some), or feel full of rage and verbally abuse my friends and loved ones. I like having some consistency, too. It's also much easier to get along with family when they know what they can expect from me most of the time.

[Zeroid]

I was diagnosed a year or two ago (I'm not the best with time, it blurs) and I accepted it immediately. I don't accept it anymore. There are key things I don't have, like the sleeplessness (sometimes, but not too badly), and though I used to talk a lot I don't anymore. It just doesn't feel right anymore. When I first saw my pdoc I said that I was worried that I might be sane, but just an arsehole. He said he would never diagnose that, but I'm increasingly of the opinion that he should have. I'm not hypomanic, I just a tool. I'm not depressed, I'm just self-involved. Know what I mean?

[Sunflower123]

I still have doubts about my diagnosis even after all these years. I think often what I actually have is MDD and that it is treatment resistant. I can’t think of one time that I’ve had mania, hypomania or mixed episodes.

[Wild Coyote]

I'd had many years of severe depression, along with other symptoms. In time, I was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression. In time,many of the treatment resistant cases were re-diagnosed as BP 2. The pdoc I 'd had at the time changed my dx. I then started with a new pdoc. After a year , she agrees with my former pdoc. BP 2 seems to be the dx that most closely fits my experiences. BP 2 and other dx.
Love to all!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I still have doubts about my diagnosis even after all these years. I think often what I actually have is MDD and that it is treatment resistant. I can’t think of one time that I’ve had mania, hypomania or mixed episodes.

I think I hangout in that space with you a lot!
My hypomania experiences are not much fun anymore. They are much more of being irritable with sensory sensitivities. Uggh!

Much Love

[Zeroid]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

They are much more of being irritable with sensory sensitivities. Uggh!

What are the sensory sensitivities like? Is that a thing with BD?

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Zeroid

What are the sensory sensitivities like? Is that a thing with BD?

I know your question wasn’t for me but I just want to share that mania has a major impact on my sensory perception. Lights and colors become so magnificent. Sounds and music can become like clatter, sometimes even terrifying. Even the feeling of shower water falling on my skin is intensified to a dramatic level. Everything just becomes so overwhelming. It usually starts out wonderfully but ends tragically.

[Zeroid]

Originally Posted by cashart10

I know your question wasn’t for me but I just want to share that mania has a major impact on my sensory perception.

Always share, your insights are valuable.

What you described is very, very familiar. The appreciation of beauty in the world is incredible, but it can crush me. I thought this was a migraine thing, but maybe not. It doesn't help with my struggle with my diagnosis, though.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Zeroid

Always share, your insights are valuable.

What you described is very, very familiar. The appreciation of beauty in the world is incredible, but it can crush me. I thought this was a migraine thing, but maybe not. It doesn't help with my struggle with my diagnosis, though.

If your diagnosis turns out to be correct what does it take away from you? You're still you all this time. Label or no label. Meds or no meds.

[Zeroid]

Originally Posted by fern46

If your diagnosis turns out to be correct what does it take away from you? You're still you all this time. Label or no label. Meds or no meds.

The meds alter me. I hate being on meds for this, and other things, so I really, really want to overwrite this diagnosis, and get cured for the other stuff (which won't happen). If I am bipolar then fine, I can embrace it. I just want to be free from the monotony of timing medication, and the weight gain, and the increasing stupidity.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Zeroid

The meds alter me. I hate being on meds for this, and other things, so I really, really want to overwrite this diagnosis, and get cured for the other stuff (which won't happen). If I am bipolar then fine, I can embrace it. I just want to be free from the monotony of timing medication, and the weight gain, and the increasing stupidity.

So it isn't really the label. It's more what comes with the territory. Makes sense. I'm not sure about cures, but I do wholeheartedly believe people can thrive even under these incredibly tough conditions. Don't lose sight of the possibilities just because you have a diagnosis.