Bipolar check in #39

It’s a beautiful day today so I think I’ll run some errands and soak up some rays. It is quite chilly so I’ve retired the flip flops.

I was physically very tired yesterday so I did my Free & Clear year in review. I had quite a few aha! moments as far as highlights, lowlights, what worked and what didn’t. I set some new and revived some old intentions and will proceed. I don’t set resolutions on January 1st but I do review my year and set intentions around how I want to feel and experience life whenever I feel moved to do so.

Christina - you’ve been right to gently nudge me about isolating. I’ve set an intention around that now. Thank you for being such a good friend.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Sunday and hugs to those that are struggling.

Today's a nice day! I went to my church for Pastor Appreciation. I was in a great mood there and even my anxiety levels were down. I found out from my boss that he is almost done with my letter of recommendation. Now I gotta wait for the program to make a decision. Frankly, I really hate waiting so this is gonna be pretty hard for me.

I'm glad you had a nice time, you so deserve a break: hug:

I used to be very active in the games and on social groups back before they changed them. Mostly it was the games where I did a lot of posting

Hi!

There are many inquiries about my mom. I deeply appreciate the concern! I am very lucky to have so many people caring!

My mom is doing just fine, thank you! She has done incredibly well.
She'd attended a senior dinner last night with friends. She went to church this morning and out to lunch with some of her friends!
She has plans to participate in a "game night" for seniors tonight!

I am grateful she is doing so well!
I am grateful, too, for your concerns and your inquiries!

Got another night of good sleep. Barely recall a dream, just that it had something to do with a cousin of mine. I've been scattered and have three books going and the library contacted me that I book I reserved is ready. This one is by Rachael Maddow about the oil industry and the ties to political schemes. Don't know it I'm ready for that!

Yes I was able to finish my shower after a wait of about 30-45 minutes, till the washer was done. was inconvenient that was all.

Really depressed lately, just sitting in bed watching tv, waiting for the antidepressant to kick in.

I'm doing alright, I guess. Not good, not bad, but alright. Could be better, though. Just feeling frustrated with work and having to do work stuff on the weekends when I am supposed to be relaxing and doing some cleaning.

I am also going on a trip in December very close to Christmas time. Nooooooooot looking forward to it. AT. ALL. Plane ride and everything. Ugh. But the trip is to see my uncle, and I do want to see him; I just hate traveling, ESPECIALLY during peak holiday season. I also HATE germs. I need a face mask for the plane now and LOTS of hand sanitizer. I will probably freak out the whole time, and I'm always terrified that the plane will crash, esp after the Boeing stuff, since apparently they're starting to be used again.

I guess I'll worry about it all later -- but it's kinda hard not to worry about it right now. And there is no cancelling the trip because my dad is a stubborn person who always buys the cheapest fares that are non refundable. I told him I didn't want to go, but he bought the tickets anyways and now he can't cancel them or he'll lose $200 on me. Why must he be so stubborn about this? Oh, and did I mention that my dad did NOT tell his brother that we are going to see him? Yeah, booked hotel and airfare, but neglected to tell his own brother. I may just pay my dad $200 to not go if I can't handle it.

Yes! You are sleeping!
Has there been any major change which allows you to sleep better?

I had looked into the "sleep supplement" I had mentioned to you the other day. The active ingredient is L-theanine, which is an amino acid.

L-theanine and stress, insomnia:
L-Theanine: Dosage, Benefits, and Side Effects

L-theanine and Bipolar Disorder:
Bipolar Disorder and L-Theanine: What You Should Know

(In addition, since it is thought L-theanine stabilizes the concentration of glutamate in the brain, it is reasonable to assume it may well help pain, especially chronic pain, which is made worse by increasing amounts of glutamate in the brain. Footnote on this: Me. Sorry. I have read on these topics for over 30 years now. I could very well be totally wrong. Take it for whatever it is worth.)

Our friend here at PC, @still_crazy, often mentions he has found this supplement, L-theanine, useful. I love him and his input here.

I've just bought my mom a supplement called "Goodbye Stress, " made by OLLY. It has GABA, L-theanine and Lemon Balm. The form is "gummy bears."

(I have had her on a homeopathic formula; it appears this is not working for her anymore. She refuses any meds for anxiety/sleep.)

After looking over this info., I am also going to try the supplement I had bought for my mom.

I hope this is not too much information. Please PM me if I can help in any way, Nammu!

Much Love to You!

* DIsclaimer: I am not a medical professional. ALWAYS check with your doctor and/or with your pharmacist. Checking with both is quite reasonable.

Hey!
You have come up for air!

I hope you are catching up on work assignments with all of the time/effort you are putting in!

Oh no! A trip you don't want to take and your dad has purchased the tickets! Yikes. What to do? I think I would also try to buy him out!

It's great to have you posting!
Much Love to You!

HI!

Anything good on TV?
It's wise to use distraction(s) to help you through the waiting time.

I forget, please forgive me, how long have you been on the antidepressant?

Thanks for posting, both reaching out and keeping us up-to-date on how you are doing. :

We are here for you should you need anything we can help with!

I mostly just watch sports, ESPN, that kind of stuff.

I've only been on the antidepressant since Wednesday, I know it takes 2-4 weeks to kick in usually so I have quite a bit of waiting to do.

Thanks for your support

I've determined my car's rough idle is just that it was cold and the DME sensor was injecting more fuel to run a richer mixture for "better" combustion. That's all I know about it.

My brother just called me to tell me that our sis, who hasn't been able to get a T through the Kaiser system for the year since our mom died, has left home and written us a message that she's given up on life and for us not to look for her. I tried calling her right after I got off the phone with my brother, but she didn't answer. I'm so torn up inside right now. There's nothing I can do.

It's interesting that you mention being in a good mood while at church. Many report feeling better (moodwise) when having attended a service. Many also report a big shift in mood, for the positive, for having attended.

Do you find the good mood from attending church lasts long after you leave the church ?

Some people find the "good moood" lasts a few hours, others report it lasts a couple of days. Some are very involved, attending church services 3 times or so a week, and report renewing the reported "good mood" effect(s) throughout the week. Some people find attending church a trigger for various reasons.

Waiting can be very difficult and time can drag! Maybe keep yourself distracted and time might move more quickly and maybe you will experience less anxiety while waiting?

I hope things work out for you just as you hope they do!
Keep us posted!

Oh, no! I am so sorry!

I have been through this with a couple of family members and it is so scary and so heart-wrenching!

There are no words -- nothing that touches how horrible, how anxiety-provoking, how gut-wrenching, how horrifying and more.

When a certain family member of mine was going through this, he told us the same; however, I did find him in some of his favorite places. I had, often, found it worthwhile to visit those places... or to send someone to those places.

I would also consider letting the area police know of the situation, incase they can be helpful in any way.

Let me think... I might remember something else which might be helpful.

Please keep us posted, especially if doing so is helpful to you.
I am here for you in any way I can be helpful to you and to yours.

My heart goes out. You, your sister and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers. We are looking for a good outcome!

Don't forget to breathe and to breathe deeply!

Sports!!!
So many people LOVE sports!

SO glad you can do something you can enjoy while waiting.

Yes, it can feel like such a long wait to see if a med will offer relief/help.
We can all empathize with you!
Don't be a stranger!

I hope your sis is OK. I don't know what else to say other than to send virtual hugs. I feel for both your sister and you and your family during this scary time.

So sorry about your sister. That has got to be worrying. Sending good vibes that she meets an angel to guide her home.

I’m so sorry about your sister. Prayers going up for your sister, for you and for your family.

In giving this some more thought, I want to mention it's critical family utilize all possible/all helpful coping skills. Break out your toolkit!

You might even help other family members by teaching them some skills during this time of very intense feelings.

Often, families are totally depleted after an episode like this, even with a happy outcome.

Family can become traumatized by these types of events. Please do protect any children; if children know about this, or have caught on to the high anxiety level of the adults around them (and they tend to do so), do comfort the children, immediately and continue to comfort them. Doing so helps to prevent this event from progressing to some form of PTSD or similar.

Keep trying her phone. If she looks at it, she will know you care and will know you are hoping to reach her.

For the police, if you have contacted them and/or are willing to do so:

Do they have the capability to locate a person by the location of her/his cell phone?

If they have the capability, when do they utilize this ability?

Maybe I have watched too much tv over the years. I am half expecting they might have this capability and might be willing to use this technology to help to locate your sister. How about asking the police department about this to see if it is an option?

Still thinking....

Thank you, WC.

Shelli has BP type I and has had a T in the past. Her toolkit is, in theory, more complete than mine. She's, unfortunately, taken the death of our mother harder than any of us.


I'm glad you pointed out the impact on children. My one son who is still at home, aged 17, doesn't need to know about this situation yet. My wife isn't home, so I'm dealing with this on my own right now.

As to locating her through her phone, I think it would be too much of a stretch at this point since we don't know what city/town she's in so I'm not sure yet there's anyone I can contact.

"Totally depleted." Yes, I can feel this happening. I'm going to absent myself for some meditation, peace, and "prayer."

My thanks to all of you who have offered support and kind words.

ENVISION A POSITIVE OUTCOME

Doing so will help you while you get this sorted out.

Some people find this very helpful.

When you are thinking about sad possibilities, sad outcomes:

Envision a positive outcome, including the specific details of what this postive outcome might entail.

still thinking....

I'm really hoping to get some good sleep tonight. My mood is leveled out thankfully, it scared me how fast it was escalating recently.
Cleaned my apartment. Not much else going on, just relaxing

And don't just envision it... Feel what it might feel like. Feeling the feels is important. Imagine what it would be and feel like physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Draw as complete a picture as possible.

Just got out of the hospital again. Feeling pretty okay. Nervous about possibly needing to go back in. Last time I was only out for 3 days before I had to go back.