Bipolar check in #39

My weekend turned out ok. I made it though the various gatherings.

I spoke to some people about my books and hobby, which was nice.

Our disabled relative and friends are happy we brought them together and want to do it again soon.

The celebration that just finished is called Diwali (pronounced dee-va-lee). It's as significant as Christmas and lasts a number of days. There's lots of cooking involved using simple ingredients like rice, lentils, vegetables, and milk (not all in one dish but in many different dishes) so now we have lots of home made snacks and sweets around.

I didn't participate in making any of the food this year, but my younger son did. Hopefully next year will be better and I'll be more engaged.

But I felt ok for the important parts so I say that's a win this year.

Well last night I fell asleep unusually early. For some reason, my sleep schedule is all messed up since I got out of hypomania. I've been going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. Ive also been waking up more in the night (not as much as when I am hypomaniac) which is annoying me. Today I am going to see my pdoc to talk about my sleeping and also my anxious pacing. I am also going to try to go to a DBSA meeting since I haven't gone to one in months. Mood-wise, I feel like I am just going with the motions and stuck in a routine. Not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing.

Wild Coyote and Christina, thanks for the suggestions. Christina, what you do with your husband on birthdays would be my first choice.

Hugs to all! I'm sorry I can't write more right now.

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I am going to see my dad with my sister today. I'm thinking about calling the operations director for my volunteering at NAMI to tell her I can't manage the drive every week. I still want to offer volunteering, but more for events closer to home, which most of the big ones are. I wish they hadn't moved their office further from my house. I wish DBSA had daytime groups. They are much closer.

today marks forty-five years. its my birthday. I don't feel older. I just feel old. I am not doing well mentally and my appt cant come fast enough with my pdoc and my therapist. I am struggling with my ptsd. tremors are making everything worse. I have them non-stop. I have been pacing a lot when I am not laying down. mom is sick and I am now taking care of her. making her tea and doing things for her. she doesn't get around well. she has many health problems. I like taking care of her when she is sick. It reminds me of her taking care of me. I want to say what I wish for my birthday, but I am afraid that it wont come true if I do. So, I wont say it.

My weekend turned out ok. I made it though the various gatherings.

I spoke to some people about my books and hobby, which was nice.

Our disabled relative and friends are happy we brought them together and want to do it again soon.

The celebration that just finished is called Diwali (pronounced dee-va-lee). It's as significant as Christmas and lasts a number of days. There's lots of cooking involved using simple ingredients like rice, lentils, vegetables, and milk (not all in one dish but in many different dishes) so now we have lots of home made snacks and sweets around.

I didn't participate in making any of the food this year, but my younger son did. Hopefully next year will be better and I'll be more engaged.

But I felt ok for the important parts so I say that's a win this year.

Wild Coyote and Christina, thanks for the suggestions. Christina, what you do with your husband on birthdays would be my first choice.


Hugs to all! I'm sorry I can't write more right now.


I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I am going to see my dad with my sister today. I'm thinking about calling the operations director for my volunteering at NAMI to tell her I can't manage the drive every week. I still want to offer volunteering, but more for events closer to home, which most of the big ones are. I wish they hadn't moved their office further from my house. I wish DBSA had daytime groups. They are much closer.

today marks forty-five years. its my birthday. I don't feel older. I just feel old. I am not doing well mentally and my appt cant come fast enough with my pdoc and my therapist. I am struggling with my ptsd. tremors are making everything worse. I have them non-stop. I have been pacing a lot when I am not laying down. mom is sick and I am now taking care of her. making her tea and doing things for her. she doesn't get around well. she has many health problems. I like taking care of her when she is sick. It reminds me of her taking care of me. I want to say what I wish for my birthday, but I am afraid that it wont come true if I do. So, I wont say it.

Well I’m off in a few for my 3 month normal appt with my T ... then run by the hospital to pick up a CD of my last chest X-ray to take to Pulmonary on the 7th.

It cloudy and very damp feeling today, very heavy chest.

Hope everyone has a good afternoon

I hope your therapist appointment goes well. You seem to have a great therapist.

Going to n3s piano lesson soon. He stayed in his room all freaking day! And he's just now practicing 10 minutes before we have to leave. *sigh*


I saw M (formerly N1) at Starbucks this afternoon. We had a nice chat. I got a bill for my ex in the mail today. I hope he's not playing games putting my address on one of the kids' accounts.

My Pdoc appt went well 7 minutes in and out ! I’m perfectly fine with it. He always reads the last couple T notes so he knows how I’m doing..

$14.08 visit, copay is cheaper than my T LOL !

I asked him about psych meds and if they can cause liver problems... he says the only one really is Depakote which is something I would not take.

I still think zyprexa is a problem where this is concerned, but I was on Depakote for a relatively long time too. Just can't win!

Very irritated today, turned my hearing aids off so I don't have to hear noises that bother me. It's just the lack of sound sleep.

I've been sleeping a lot. I slept all day yesterday, last night, and took a long nap today. I'm doing well though, no hallucinations, paranoia , or mood problems. I just feel very slowed down. It's crazy but I'm looking forward to sleeping tonight, still tired